This is long and sucks for your friend's list. Too fucking bad.
Today was the absolute worst sort of day. My mother, uncle and I were supposed to go and unseal my grandmother's apartment and begin the process of cleaning it out. Because she died alone and the police had to break in and search the place, her keys and jewelry she was wearing at the time were in custody, which meant going to the precinct to pick them up first. In order to pick them up from the precinct, however, we had to pick up some papers from the Administrative Office.
That is where all the fun starts.
My uncle and I began the drive out to the Bronx about 11 - and immediately ran into traffic on the FDR Drive. This is traffic, as far as we could tell, that started for no particular reason, and lasted the majority of the Drive. By the time we got to the Willis Avenue Bridge it all went away, and we continued on to the court house.
At the court house we proceeded up to the third floor and to the Administrative Office. First they didn't want to give us the papers because we didn't have vouchers from the precinct - which, according to the lawyer, we weren't supposed to need. Then they didn't want to give us the papers because we didn't have a proper proof of payment for the funeral. Apparently the credit card receipt didn't count. (The reason for this law, by the way, is that some people in the past have apparently gone to collect the deceased's property, but not the deceased's body from the morgue and so the City is trying to protect itself from having to pay for funerals.) And finally, the kicker. They absolutely refused to give us the papers because my uncle's brother, my father, is still alive and thus either needed to be present or have signed an affidavit allowing my uncle to act in his stead.
So what did that mean?
It meant returning to our apartment so that my uncle could write up said affidavit. Which we did, after sitting in bumper to bumper traffic for well on an hour. So we return to the apartment and my uncle types up the affidavit and then we go over to the hospital, and I bring up the two copies to get them signed. My father is not pleased, and tells me to get them the fuck away from him, and that he's not signing anything, and that he could wring my neck, along with my mother's and my uncle's. Because this is totally our fault. He complains and rages for a while, until my uncle calls up from the car looking for me, and then I wait for fifteen minutes while he and my father argue on the phone.
It's after 2 by the time we start out again, this time heading for the precinct, because the gentleman at the Administrative Office told us that as long as we told the police to call him, we could pick up her keys and things. We arrive at the precinct and talk to a very nice policewoman, who listens and nods and smiles, but can't give us my grandmother's things without the paper we weren't supposed to need so long as she called the Administrative Office. Which means getting back in the car and driving back to the court house, this time, at least, with vouchers in hand. And there they finally give us the God-damned piece of paper, which we bring back to the precinct, where they make us wait for nearly fifteen minutes before they retrieve my grandmother's things.
In the middle of all this, my phone decided it would be a perfect time to die. Completely. Because I really needed something like that to happen on top of everything else. I couldn't call Theo and Laurie, whom I was supposed to meet up with, to tell them that I wouldn't be able to make it. Today was the only day I'd have been able to get to the apartment since my uncle is leaving tomorrow morning and we all know what would have happened if we'd tried to do this without him here. Radio Shack didn't have my phone-type battery, either, so I couldn't get a replacement.
I could scream and pull my hair out.
Also, never drive with my uncle. He's not only one of those people who talks on the cell phone as he drives. My uncle texts while he drives. It's absolutely harrowing.