Tears Like Rivers
Title: Tears Like Rivers
Author: vinniebatman aka batmanvinnie
Fandom: BTVS
Pairing/Character: Spander, of course.
Rating/Warnings: Character death, slash, major angst.
Prompt:This prompt is from
eithnex "Any line from Shinedowns "Save Me" maybe a little comfort after the hurt?"
Summary: Spike deals with Xander's death
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him. I now own all. Thank you. Or not.
A/N: Okay, so this has angst. It wasn't the kind of thing I could twist into funny, not this time. It was pretty hard for me to get this one done; apparently my muses don't like Shinedown too much. Hopefully the ending isn't too vague.
The ratty couch was surrounded by empty bottles of Jack Daniels. He'd wanted to die, wanted to become nothing. Only Dawn's tearful begging had kept him from walking into the sunlight. It had been so new, they had been so new. After months of mocking the now-human Angel, Spike and Xander had moved on to other activities- mocking Giles, mocking Andrew, even pulling pranks on Faith if there was an escape route planned. They had made the new Slayer's Academy lively, giving the girls there a sense of normalcy. Slowly, Spike had fallen for Xander, and after a few months, Xander had figured it out. There had only been a handful of dates, a handful of kisses.
And now Xander was gone, his body torn apart by vampires out to make a name for themselves. They hadn’t survived long after the discovery of Xander’s corpse.
"My poor little Spike. The light has gone out in your heart."
Spike’s head snapped up toward the bedroom.
"Dru. What are you doing here?" The dark-haired vampire stood, smiling, a body cradled in her arms. The body’s heart was silent.
"I was having tea with the Princes at the Tower when I heard such a sad song. My poor little kitten was crying. The dirty fledges were biting, tearing at him, making him scream. Then he died and his song followed me around and around. It didn’t want to go away. And the stars told me that my little Spike would break."
"You knew about Xan?" he asked, his voice breaking. Her description of the murder could only mean Xander's murder. Hearing her words brought the pain forward, tears slipping.
"Yes, so I got my Spike a present." She smiled proudly as she walked forward, placing the corpse in Spike’s lap. It was a dark-haired young man, no older than 20, wrapped in a blanket. "I found a gypsy and made him tell me their secrets."
Spike groaned. "Dru, the last thing I need is to get caught with a murdered gypsy by his angry family."
Drusilla laughed. "Silly Spike. He’s not a gypsy." The smile faded from her face as she knelt, brushing the hair from the boy’s face. "He was so sad, crying until his tear were rivers, like Alice." She lifted his hands up, the blanket falling partly away from his nude body. The wrists were criss-crossed with old scars. "So I let him float away and the gypsy gave him a new song, Kitten’s song. He’s yours now."
Raising her eyes to Spike's, she smiled. "Now you won’t be broken. Mummy made the glue." Standing, she drifted away from the couch and headed to the door. She left, her voice floating down the hall. "Mummy fixed it all up."
Spike stared at the doorway. Dru had given him a fledge, one he’d have to stake. Looking down, he sighed. The boy was beautiful, think brown hair and full lips. The pain flared again. He bore a slight resemblance to Xander, which certainly didn’t help the situation any. Then his eyelids fluttered open. Chocolate brown eyes stared back at him, confused.
The boy frowned, then spoke. "S-sire?" He closed his eyes and opened them again. "No, not my Sire. What happened?"
He studied his body, moving the blanket to reveal his body entirely. His eyes quickly met Spike’s again, scared. "Spike, that is not my penis."
Spike’s world crashed again as puzzle pieces clicked together. And the for the first time in three weeks, he smiled.
well I’ve got a candle and I’ve got a spoon
I live in a hallway with no doors and no rooms
and under a windowsill they all were found
a touch of concrete within the doorway without a sound
someone save me if you will
and take away all these pills
and please just save me if you can
from my blasphemy in my wasteland
how did I get here and what went wrong
couldn’t handle forgiveness now I’m far beyond gone
and I can hardly remember the look of my own eyes
how could I love this a life so dishonest it made me compromise
jump in the water
jump in with me
jump on the alter lay down with me
the hardest question to answer is why
somebody save me
please don’t erase me