if we were still friends.
the first thing i would say is congratulations on the engagement. i'm happy for you. but then i would probably go on a monologue about how i admire all these people in my life getting engaged and just so ready to jump head first into commitmentville. and how the wedding bug that's going around is just making me NOT want to get married.
*sigh*
i dont think it's not that i dont want to get married. i'm still indecisive on that front. i just feel, more and more, like i wont be able to stand being married. i probably wont be a good married person. you know what i mean?
so, after all is said and done, you're still the one person i feel i can spill everything to. i'm guessing because youre out of my circle of friends so i can say anything and you would give me an objective perspective. hell, we both know how direct and cold you can be, dont we. i need that right now. i dont think anyone in my life is filling that role of the bitchy, tough loving bff.
things arent going so well with him. if i told you whats going on, youd probably mocked me. but then again, considering what you once told me that on a scale of 1-10, i was a 3, i probably wouldnt want to divulge to you what the problem is. besides, you wouldnt be surprised, would you. in a sense, you made it as big of a problem as it is now. you really shattered my confidence in this area. thanks a lot, best friend. i think im forever cursed when it comes to this.....thing.
i wish i could tell you though. i wish i could tell someone, actually. anyone. just strip everything and tell them the honest to GOD version of it. not some sugar coated, self deprecating humored, less fattening version of it. i want to cry out loud and let someone see how much it is killing me. how much pain i'm feeling and how extremely miserable i feel. and how it's slowly poisoning our relationship.
i wanted to ask you, whats your secret. you and her made seem so easy. you made me hold out hope that true love and soul mate do exist.
...
if we were still friends, but we're not. so nevermind.
*sigh*
i dont think it's not that i dont want to get married. i'm still indecisive on that front. i just feel, more and more, like i wont be able to stand being married. i probably wont be a good married person. you know what i mean?
so, after all is said and done, you're still the one person i feel i can spill everything to. i'm guessing because youre out of my circle of friends so i can say anything and you would give me an objective perspective. hell, we both know how direct and cold you can be, dont we. i need that right now. i dont think anyone in my life is filling that role of the bitchy, tough loving bff.
things arent going so well with him. if i told you whats going on, youd probably mocked me. but then again, considering what you once told me that on a scale of 1-10, i was a 3, i probably wouldnt want to divulge to you what the problem is. besides, you wouldnt be surprised, would you. in a sense, you made it as big of a problem as it is now. you really shattered my confidence in this area. thanks a lot, best friend. i think im forever cursed when it comes to this.....thing.
i wish i could tell you though. i wish i could tell someone, actually. anyone. just strip everything and tell them the honest to GOD version of it. not some sugar coated, self deprecating humored, less fattening version of it. i want to cry out loud and let someone see how much it is killing me. how much pain i'm feeling and how extremely miserable i feel. and how it's slowly poisoning our relationship.
i wanted to ask you, whats your secret. you and her made seem so easy. you made me hold out hope that true love and soul mate do exist.
...
if we were still friends, but we're not. so nevermind.