PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: RUSSELL CROW HAS MAILED HIS OWN FACE TO A LOTTERY WINNER IN SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS. THIS IS NOT SO MUCH AN INFORMATIVE ANNOUNCEMENT AS IT IS A SEVERE WARNING: COMING IN DIRECT CONTACT WITH SAID FACE COULD RESULT IN MILD HERNIAS AND A NEW TYPE OF CANCER CALLED "BREATH CANCER" WHERE EVERY TIME YOU BREATH, YOU GET MORE CANCER. AVOID RUSSELL CROW'S DETACHED, MAILED FACE AT ALL COSTS!