Save the Best for Last
A/N: I hate cliffhangers... I really really hate them.
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[ Chap 1] [ Chap 2] [ Chap 3]
“Jesus, Cas, stop fussing already. He’s fine. He’s just sleeping.” Dean chided softly, so as to not disturb the sleeping giant.
Cas completely ignored him, re-tucking the perfectly tucked blanket under Sam’s chin and gently caressing his forehead. He bent down to kiss him on the temple with “good night, love”, lovingly whispered something in his ear - which Dean knew was “Angels are watching over you”; the same thing his mother had uttered to him every night when he was a kid. Sam had once told Cas about it, and since then Cas had made it a point to whisper the familiar reassurance to Sam whenever he went to bed - caressed his cheek, then stood up and turned around to glare at Dean.
“Shut up,” he hissed with a hint of possessiveness, “He can hear you.”
Dean sighed and dejectedly shook his head. He had a better chance of stealing cubs off a rabid tigress than getting Cas to leave Sam alone. “He can’t hear me coz he’s sedated,” he replied. “C’mon. You look like you could use some rest.” The mild panic in Cas’ eye’s answered instead. “Jesus, Cas. It’s 1.30 at night. The kid’s asleep and you could do with some rest yourself,” he urged again. “If you don’t get some sleep you’ll be as cranky as Sam in the morning.”
Cas nodded and walked over to the two theatre seats in the corner of the room, flopped down on one, leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Dean knew it was all an act. That the moment Dean’s back was turned Cas would pick up where he left off, tucking and re-tucking the blanket around Sam, gently caressing his forehead and whispering soft assurances in his sleeping ears. Cas was like their mother in this way. It tugged at Dean’s heart, made him want to hold Cas and tell him everything would be alright… that Sam would be better.
He didn’t know about anything else, but the last part was true. The doctors had assured them of that. That Sammy was fine - he had a mild concussion which would be alright by tomorrow, his sprained ankle would heal in a couple of days and, the only real danger, his fractured arm would mend itself in 6-8 weeks. They just wanted to monitor him overnight. He could go home the next day.
Dean looked down at his sleeping brother and marveled at the miracle in front of him. Sam was a cranky patient. Dean knew that… he had raised the kid for 14 years. He had just never thought he would see the limit until today. Sam had bitched and cried and screamed and officially proved that he really was a five year old on a sugar high, in a body of a 14 year old, who looked about 18. Only thing that kept Dean from snapping was Cas’ endless patience… both with him and the kid.
---
Cas, with his patience of a saint… something Dean had never appreciated till today… had been there, all the way from the field to the hospital, even riding in the ambulance with Sam. He had literally pushed away the orderly, who kept insisting “family only”, to climb in the back with his Sam. Dean had defeatedly told them to go on ahead while he followed in his car.
Then, he had acted as soundboard to Sam who kept whining and bitching about how he was never gonna play and how his life was ruined and how he was going to grow up alone and adopt cats and turn into an old fat cat-lady because no one wanted to date an ex-high school football player. Dean didn’t know where that had come from, even interrupting to say so, but Cas had glared him into silence and listened to his brother whine until, thankfully, the sedatives took hold and Sam drifted off to sleep.
Afterwards, he had played a perfect host to string of visitors - from Ellen and Jo, to Gabe and Kali… to Bobby and Sheriff Jody (even now Dean couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Bobby had actually married the town sheriff and they were expecting twins)... to the entire Lawrence High football team, and a very nervous and scared little cheerleader Madison, whom Jo had introduced as Sammy’s girlfriend... and, Dean realized, the reason for Sam's morphine-induced rants. Cas' demeanour was totally indifferent, as if the last two months hadn’t happened… that all of Dean’s doubts and angst were just in his head. It was only when the people left and they were alone, and Cas dropped his shoulders and refused to meet his eyes, that Dean realized that everything had changed.
----
He turned and walked towards Cas, flopping on the chair beside him. He, very gentlemanly, kept his hands to himself, even though every nerve fibre was screaming at him to extend his hand and grasp Cas’ flaccid hand lying on the common arm-rest. He sat in silence, tension seeping between them, until Cas wordlessly reached forward and took hold of his hand, and tugged until it was cradled in Cas’ lap, surprisingly close to his groin. So close that if Dean were to move his hand even a tiny bit, his fingers brush would against Cas’ groin. Dean tensed at thought and saw Cas’ slowly subconsciously massage circles into the plump flesh with his thumb. The sight did nothing to dissipate the tension… it only increased with each passing stroke.
And then he heard it. A low soft familiar humming sound coming from Cas. So soft that Dean had strain his ears to hear it. So familiar that it threw Dean back into his mother’s arm, in their old home as his very sober, very tired father looked lovingly at them. “Cas?” he asked turning his head to look at Cas. The eyelids fluttered open as the other head turned towards him.
“Hey Jude. Isn’t that what she used to sing?” Cas replied without waiting for the question.
It took a beat to realize Cas was talking about his mother. “How do you…”
Cas tilted his head to lovingly gaze at the sleeping Sam, “… told me.” He turned back to look at Dean and smiled shyly.
Dean didn’t know what came over him. “Thanks Cas,” he leaned forward and brushed his lips against Cas’. He pulled back when he heard a slight moan, afraid that Cas might run away again. But Cas was staring at him, his expression unfathomable for a moment. Then he smiled… a fake plastered smile, like he was trying to be okay with it, but finding it very difficult. “Cas…” he started, ready to lay down his heart before his tormentor, but Sam whimpered on cue and Cas yanked his hand away and rushed towards him, leaving Dean and his feelings behind.
---
Dean waited for about 15 minutes for Cas to come back, but Sam had started drifting on the edge of consciousness and Cas was determined to outwait the drugs. He was softly singing Smoke on the Water, Sammy’s lullaby, for the third time now. Dean exhaled and stood up. There was no way he was going to get anywhere with Cas tonight. He would try again tomorrow.
He walked out the room, drifting towards the vending machine near the nurses’ station. He was looking at his feet as they increased the distance between him and Cas, and not really paying attention to where he was going when…
Bump! Dean jolted out of his reverie to look at the guy he’d bumped into and found himself staring into the deep blue eyes of the Blondie from the bar.
“Hey bartender,” he guy smirked in that ridiculous accent of his, just as Dean asked, “What are you doing here?” The guy stepped back in surprise and looked at him, “Could you direct me to room 512?”
Room 512 was Sam’s room, Dean’s brain reminded. Dean’s hands instinctively found themselves on the guy’s lapels. “What do you want with my brother?” he asked his voice hoarse with anger.
“Brother?” the man tried to shrug of the hold as an emotion fluttered across his face. “Oh! You must be Cassie’s…”
That did it. Dean didn’t know what came over him, but something snapped. No right, his brain screamed. He has no right. Anger coiled his stomach like a spring and uncoiled with such a speed that Dean’s hand unconsciously pulled back and flew forward to connect with the guy’s jaw.
The man staggered back as Dean recoiled in pain. It felt like he had hit an iron wall not a human being. Maybe he had one of those Magneto helmets for a skull. But Dean was not one to back down from a fight. He looked up to find the man looking strangely at him, his face masked. But Dean could see the anger blazing in his eyes. “What are you…” the man started, as Dean leaped onto the man tackling him to the ground. He found himself sitting on the guy’s chest, his thighs pinning him down and punching his face. He punched again and again as his brain goaded him on.
No right. This man had no right. No right to be around Cas. To call him Cassie. To smirk at him and say his name in that ridiculous grating voice. He didn’t care how much history they had, he didn’t care what Cas had done in the months they’d separated, but this man had no right to come to the hospital and try to lay claim on Cas. His Cas.
But the man fought back. Dean wasn’t wrong in his first assessment. The man fought like a pro. His punches landed perfectly on Dean’s face and chest, until he had flipped them over and he was pinning Dean down. Dean used his legs to flip him aside, but the man anticipated his next move and kicked him in the chest. Dean staggered back a few steps, recovered quickly and lunged at the man, just as two strong hands gripped under his arms and pulled him back.
---
Cas had started singing Smoke on the Water for the fourth time, when he heard commotion outside. He knew Dean had wandered out into the lobby. His heart leaped to his throat as he got up and ran in direction of the noises.
He froze on spot as the scene came into view. His mind barely registered his brother sitting on Dean’s chest, pounding into his face. But before he could unfreeze himself, Dean had flipped him aside trying to pin him down. He snapped out when he saw Balthy kick Dean in the chest and reached them just in time to stop Dean from lunging at his brother.
He pulled Dean back and held onto his waist, simultaneously glaring at Balthazar. He loosened his hold on Dean only after he finally stopped squirming, then moved to stand between Dean and his asshole brother, giving him a quick disapproving once-over before turning to Dean to survey the damage his brother had caused.
He should have never told Balthazar anything. He knew his brother was protective of him, but this… this was ridiculous... hitting a poor man when his younger brother was lying in the hospital. He turned to his brother, eyes blazing and jabbed a finger in his chest and told him so.
The expression on Balthazar’s face was precious… bordering on surprise to utter disbelief. “What are you talking about?” he finally asked. “He jumped me!” he replied, pointing his finger accusatorily.
Cas turned to Dean confusion apparent in his face. “What happened Dean?” his voice soft… almost kind… like he was talking to a baby or an injured bird. “Why did you hit my brother?” he inquired.
Brother? BROTHER?!?! The word echoed in Dean’s mind. “Bro…brother?” he sputtered his eyes travelling from Cas to the man back to Cas. His brain stopped functioning. “But… but… you don’t have a brother.” he finally forced his tongue to speak.
“We don’t really get along,” Cas replied sheepishly, his eyes downcast.
“But… but… you mean… he’s not…” Dean urged his tongue to say something. His eyes travelled back and forth between the two men in front of him as he mentally chastised himself. How he have missed it… it was so obvious… they were exactly alike. Sure they didn’t look alike, but their smiles, the blank expression they had on right now… the way their eyes sparkled was exactly alike. Hell, these very eyes were the first thing that had drawn Dean towards Blondie and assured him that the guy was not a threat. But his brain needed a little more reassurance. “You mean… he’s not… he’s not some guy you hooked up with?” he heard himself speak.
Cas reeled as if someone had slapped him. Balthy had tilted his head back and was staring at him with what Dean now recognized as Cas’ ‘lost puppy face’. “Is that what you thought?” Cas murmured, as a knowing look crossed Balthazar’s face and he doubled over with laughter, guffawing shamelessly and waving a hand between Dean and Cas.
It irked the hell out of Dean. He wanted to punch the guy quiet, but decided that the guy deserved a good laugh at their expense, considering what he had just gone through. He turned his attention to Cas, who had walked over to the visitors chairs in lobby, and sunk down in one of them, his head almost-but-not-quite touching his knees, his arms covering it. Dean walked over to him, silently thanking the Gods that the hospital was almost empty and they had the floor to themselves and they hadn’t managed to kill some poor stroke patient with all the late night drama.
“Cas?” he fell on his knees in front him. “Cas, look at me,” he urged. Cas looked up silently, his eyes brimming with tears. Dean raised himself on his knees so he was the same height as the sitting Castiel.
“Why?” Cas uttered softly, without waiting for Dean to say anything. “Why do you do this?”
Dean was seriously confused. “What do you mean?” he asked, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer.
“This…” Cas replied waving his hands around. “Every time I convince myself that you don’t love me, that my feelings are one-sided and that I should try to pretend that I’m okay with being just friends, you go and do something like this and make me fall in love with you all over again.”
“What are you talking about?” Dean asked anger seeping into his voice. “I kissed you! Plain as daylight. Twice. And you grimaced and ran away. And now suddenly it’s my fault??!”
“Kissed?” Cas wiped a hand across his tear-stained cheeks and looked at Dean his blue eyes shining in anger. “You call that… that pathetic excuse of a kiss… A KISS? I’ll show you what’s A KISS,” he thundered and before Dean could comprehend what was happening, Cas had yanked his head forward and crushed their lips together. Dean parted his lips in surprise and Cas took the opportunity to snake his tongue inside, ravaging Dean’s mouth in slow sure strokes.
Dean belatedly realized he had stopped breathing and pushed back at Cas trying to convey that as much as he appreciated the impromptu lesson, he really did not want to die of asphyxiation in a hospital.
But Cas pushed him back and raised a hand to his lips, standing up and staring down at him in horror. “I’m… I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I… I shouldn’t… I should go… I…” He pushed past Dean and started running towards the exit.
Dean was up on his feet and running behind Cas, even before his mind could wrap around what had happened. “Cas… wait! Stop! Cas STOP!” Cas stopped so suddenly that Dean almost collided with him. “Cas… what’s wrong?” he asked yanking Cas around to face him. “Why did you run?”
“This…” Cas replied frantically waving his hands about. “This… this… everything. You don’t love me. I can’t do this… I thought I could… but I can’t... I had to leave. I have to leave.”
“What do you mean ‘I don’t love you’?” Dean asked confusion back in his voice. What was going on in that pretty head? “I kissed you, didn’t I?”
“To thank me,” Cas replied dejectedly. He looked at the utter disbelief and confusion on Dean’s face and continued. “That… that night you kissed me… you said you wanted to thank me. And you kept insisting we were friends… you made that perfectly clear… And I didn’t want you to think you owed me anything. That you needed to put out as some kind of payment…”
Dean gaped at him. Is that what he thought? Is that why he ran away? Because he thought Dean was trying to repay him. He grinned as everything suddenly fell into place. He didn’t know who was more stupid - him or Cas. He raised his hand and slapped at Cas’ head. “Idiot!” he said fondly. “Did you really think I would do something like that? Do you not know me at all? Asshole… I love you. I’ve loved since the first time I saw you on that dancefloor with Michael and I never stopped loving you. Ever. And you thought…” He huffed a laugh, the weight lifted off his chest. “Come ’ere,” he pulled Cas into him and kissed him softly, passionately… They separated and Dean slowly rubbed their heads together like he had the first time. “Thank you,” he said again… slowly, deliberately. “Thank you for being there, Cas. For not leaving me when I needed you the most. And for loving Sammy and not abandoning us because you couldn’t handle the responsibilities. Thank you Cas,” he whispered against his lips, before joining them once again.
“DEAN! CAS!” A panicked voice broke through their reverie.
“SAM!” As they separated and ran back to the room, Dean noticed that Cas’ brother had made himself scarce. They reached the room at the same time, to see a very scared Sam sitting up on the bed, his foot propped on the pillow the way Cas had adjusted earlier, the heavy plaster laden arm lying limping at his side.
Sam looked at them and a slow smile crept over his face. “Did you talk?” he asked turning his eyes to Cas. Cas nodded sheepishly as his hand found Dean's and laced their fingers together. “Does this mean you’re finally boyfriends now?” he pressed grinning.
Dean grinned back at him, walking forward and tugging Cas behind him, until they were standing before Sam. He removed his hand from Cas’ to sit beside his brother. “Yes,” he replied happily and looked up to see Cas grinning back at them, his eyes shining with love… the same look Dean had seen countless times in the past. How could he have not seen it before? “You happy now?” he asked his brother.
Sam nodded vigorously and flopped back on the bed. “I’m so glad my plan worked,” he said triumphantly before closing his eyes.
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[ Chap 1] [ Chap 2] [ Chap 3]
“Jesus, Cas, stop fussing already. He’s fine. He’s just sleeping.” Dean chided softly, so as to not disturb the sleeping giant.
Cas completely ignored him, re-tucking the perfectly tucked blanket under Sam’s chin and gently caressing his forehead. He bent down to kiss him on the temple with “good night, love”, lovingly whispered something in his ear - which Dean knew was “Angels are watching over you”; the same thing his mother had uttered to him every night when he was a kid. Sam had once told Cas about it, and since then Cas had made it a point to whisper the familiar reassurance to Sam whenever he went to bed - caressed his cheek, then stood up and turned around to glare at Dean.
“Shut up,” he hissed with a hint of possessiveness, “He can hear you.”
Dean sighed and dejectedly shook his head. He had a better chance of stealing cubs off a rabid tigress than getting Cas to leave Sam alone. “He can’t hear me coz he’s sedated,” he replied. “C’mon. You look like you could use some rest.” The mild panic in Cas’ eye’s answered instead. “Jesus, Cas. It’s 1.30 at night. The kid’s asleep and you could do with some rest yourself,” he urged again. “If you don’t get some sleep you’ll be as cranky as Sam in the morning.”
Cas nodded and walked over to the two theatre seats in the corner of the room, flopped down on one, leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Dean knew it was all an act. That the moment Dean’s back was turned Cas would pick up where he left off, tucking and re-tucking the blanket around Sam, gently caressing his forehead and whispering soft assurances in his sleeping ears. Cas was like their mother in this way. It tugged at Dean’s heart, made him want to hold Cas and tell him everything would be alright… that Sam would be better.
He didn’t know about anything else, but the last part was true. The doctors had assured them of that. That Sammy was fine - he had a mild concussion which would be alright by tomorrow, his sprained ankle would heal in a couple of days and, the only real danger, his fractured arm would mend itself in 6-8 weeks. They just wanted to monitor him overnight. He could go home the next day.
Dean looked down at his sleeping brother and marveled at the miracle in front of him. Sam was a cranky patient. Dean knew that… he had raised the kid for 14 years. He had just never thought he would see the limit until today. Sam had bitched and cried and screamed and officially proved that he really was a five year old on a sugar high, in a body of a 14 year old, who looked about 18. Only thing that kept Dean from snapping was Cas’ endless patience… both with him and the kid.
---
Cas, with his patience of a saint… something Dean had never appreciated till today… had been there, all the way from the field to the hospital, even riding in the ambulance with Sam. He had literally pushed away the orderly, who kept insisting “family only”, to climb in the back with his Sam. Dean had defeatedly told them to go on ahead while he followed in his car.
Then, he had acted as soundboard to Sam who kept whining and bitching about how he was never gonna play and how his life was ruined and how he was going to grow up alone and adopt cats and turn into an old fat cat-lady because no one wanted to date an ex-high school football player. Dean didn’t know where that had come from, even interrupting to say so, but Cas had glared him into silence and listened to his brother whine until, thankfully, the sedatives took hold and Sam drifted off to sleep.
Afterwards, he had played a perfect host to string of visitors - from Ellen and Jo, to Gabe and Kali… to Bobby and Sheriff Jody (even now Dean couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Bobby had actually married the town sheriff and they were expecting twins)... to the entire Lawrence High football team, and a very nervous and scared little cheerleader Madison, whom Jo had introduced as Sammy’s girlfriend... and, Dean realized, the reason for Sam's morphine-induced rants. Cas' demeanour was totally indifferent, as if the last two months hadn’t happened… that all of Dean’s doubts and angst were just in his head. It was only when the people left and they were alone, and Cas dropped his shoulders and refused to meet his eyes, that Dean realized that everything had changed.
----
He turned and walked towards Cas, flopping on the chair beside him. He, very gentlemanly, kept his hands to himself, even though every nerve fibre was screaming at him to extend his hand and grasp Cas’ flaccid hand lying on the common arm-rest. He sat in silence, tension seeping between them, until Cas wordlessly reached forward and took hold of his hand, and tugged until it was cradled in Cas’ lap, surprisingly close to his groin. So close that if Dean were to move his hand even a tiny bit, his fingers brush would against Cas’ groin. Dean tensed at thought and saw Cas’ slowly subconsciously massage circles into the plump flesh with his thumb. The sight did nothing to dissipate the tension… it only increased with each passing stroke.
And then he heard it. A low soft familiar humming sound coming from Cas. So soft that Dean had strain his ears to hear it. So familiar that it threw Dean back into his mother’s arm, in their old home as his very sober, very tired father looked lovingly at them. “Cas?” he asked turning his head to look at Cas. The eyelids fluttered open as the other head turned towards him.
“Hey Jude. Isn’t that what she used to sing?” Cas replied without waiting for the question.
It took a beat to realize Cas was talking about his mother. “How do you…”
Cas tilted his head to lovingly gaze at the sleeping Sam, “… told me.” He turned back to look at Dean and smiled shyly.
Dean didn’t know what came over him. “Thanks Cas,” he leaned forward and brushed his lips against Cas’. He pulled back when he heard a slight moan, afraid that Cas might run away again. But Cas was staring at him, his expression unfathomable for a moment. Then he smiled… a fake plastered smile, like he was trying to be okay with it, but finding it very difficult. “Cas…” he started, ready to lay down his heart before his tormentor, but Sam whimpered on cue and Cas yanked his hand away and rushed towards him, leaving Dean and his feelings behind.
---
Dean waited for about 15 minutes for Cas to come back, but Sam had started drifting on the edge of consciousness and Cas was determined to outwait the drugs. He was softly singing Smoke on the Water, Sammy’s lullaby, for the third time now. Dean exhaled and stood up. There was no way he was going to get anywhere with Cas tonight. He would try again tomorrow.
He walked out the room, drifting towards the vending machine near the nurses’ station. He was looking at his feet as they increased the distance between him and Cas, and not really paying attention to where he was going when…
Bump! Dean jolted out of his reverie to look at the guy he’d bumped into and found himself staring into the deep blue eyes of the Blondie from the bar.
“Hey bartender,” he guy smirked in that ridiculous accent of his, just as Dean asked, “What are you doing here?” The guy stepped back in surprise and looked at him, “Could you direct me to room 512?”
Room 512 was Sam’s room, Dean’s brain reminded. Dean’s hands instinctively found themselves on the guy’s lapels. “What do you want with my brother?” he asked his voice hoarse with anger.
“Brother?” the man tried to shrug of the hold as an emotion fluttered across his face. “Oh! You must be Cassie’s…”
That did it. Dean didn’t know what came over him, but something snapped. No right, his brain screamed. He has no right. Anger coiled his stomach like a spring and uncoiled with such a speed that Dean’s hand unconsciously pulled back and flew forward to connect with the guy’s jaw.
The man staggered back as Dean recoiled in pain. It felt like he had hit an iron wall not a human being. Maybe he had one of those Magneto helmets for a skull. But Dean was not one to back down from a fight. He looked up to find the man looking strangely at him, his face masked. But Dean could see the anger blazing in his eyes. “What are you…” the man started, as Dean leaped onto the man tackling him to the ground. He found himself sitting on the guy’s chest, his thighs pinning him down and punching his face. He punched again and again as his brain goaded him on.
No right. This man had no right. No right to be around Cas. To call him Cassie. To smirk at him and say his name in that ridiculous grating voice. He didn’t care how much history they had, he didn’t care what Cas had done in the months they’d separated, but this man had no right to come to the hospital and try to lay claim on Cas. His Cas.
But the man fought back. Dean wasn’t wrong in his first assessment. The man fought like a pro. His punches landed perfectly on Dean’s face and chest, until he had flipped them over and he was pinning Dean down. Dean used his legs to flip him aside, but the man anticipated his next move and kicked him in the chest. Dean staggered back a few steps, recovered quickly and lunged at the man, just as two strong hands gripped under his arms and pulled him back.
---
Cas had started singing Smoke on the Water for the fourth time, when he heard commotion outside. He knew Dean had wandered out into the lobby. His heart leaped to his throat as he got up and ran in direction of the noises.
He froze on spot as the scene came into view. His mind barely registered his brother sitting on Dean’s chest, pounding into his face. But before he could unfreeze himself, Dean had flipped him aside trying to pin him down. He snapped out when he saw Balthy kick Dean in the chest and reached them just in time to stop Dean from lunging at his brother.
He pulled Dean back and held onto his waist, simultaneously glaring at Balthazar. He loosened his hold on Dean only after he finally stopped squirming, then moved to stand between Dean and his asshole brother, giving him a quick disapproving once-over before turning to Dean to survey the damage his brother had caused.
He should have never told Balthazar anything. He knew his brother was protective of him, but this… this was ridiculous... hitting a poor man when his younger brother was lying in the hospital. He turned to his brother, eyes blazing and jabbed a finger in his chest and told him so.
The expression on Balthazar’s face was precious… bordering on surprise to utter disbelief. “What are you talking about?” he finally asked. “He jumped me!” he replied, pointing his finger accusatorily.
Cas turned to Dean confusion apparent in his face. “What happened Dean?” his voice soft… almost kind… like he was talking to a baby or an injured bird. “Why did you hit my brother?” he inquired.
Brother? BROTHER?!?! The word echoed in Dean’s mind. “Bro…brother?” he sputtered his eyes travelling from Cas to the man back to Cas. His brain stopped functioning. “But… but… you don’t have a brother.” he finally forced his tongue to speak.
“We don’t really get along,” Cas replied sheepishly, his eyes downcast.
“But… but… you mean… he’s not…” Dean urged his tongue to say something. His eyes travelled back and forth between the two men in front of him as he mentally chastised himself. How he have missed it… it was so obvious… they were exactly alike. Sure they didn’t look alike, but their smiles, the blank expression they had on right now… the way their eyes sparkled was exactly alike. Hell, these very eyes were the first thing that had drawn Dean towards Blondie and assured him that the guy was not a threat. But his brain needed a little more reassurance. “You mean… he’s not… he’s not some guy you hooked up with?” he heard himself speak.
Cas reeled as if someone had slapped him. Balthy had tilted his head back and was staring at him with what Dean now recognized as Cas’ ‘lost puppy face’. “Is that what you thought?” Cas murmured, as a knowing look crossed Balthazar’s face and he doubled over with laughter, guffawing shamelessly and waving a hand between Dean and Cas.
It irked the hell out of Dean. He wanted to punch the guy quiet, but decided that the guy deserved a good laugh at their expense, considering what he had just gone through. He turned his attention to Cas, who had walked over to the visitors chairs in lobby, and sunk down in one of them, his head almost-but-not-quite touching his knees, his arms covering it. Dean walked over to him, silently thanking the Gods that the hospital was almost empty and they had the floor to themselves and they hadn’t managed to kill some poor stroke patient with all the late night drama.
“Cas?” he fell on his knees in front him. “Cas, look at me,” he urged. Cas looked up silently, his eyes brimming with tears. Dean raised himself on his knees so he was the same height as the sitting Castiel.
“Why?” Cas uttered softly, without waiting for Dean to say anything. “Why do you do this?”
Dean was seriously confused. “What do you mean?” he asked, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer.
“This…” Cas replied waving his hands around. “Every time I convince myself that you don’t love me, that my feelings are one-sided and that I should try to pretend that I’m okay with being just friends, you go and do something like this and make me fall in love with you all over again.”
“What are you talking about?” Dean asked anger seeping into his voice. “I kissed you! Plain as daylight. Twice. And you grimaced and ran away. And now suddenly it’s my fault??!”
“Kissed?” Cas wiped a hand across his tear-stained cheeks and looked at Dean his blue eyes shining in anger. “You call that… that pathetic excuse of a kiss… A KISS? I’ll show you what’s A KISS,” he thundered and before Dean could comprehend what was happening, Cas had yanked his head forward and crushed their lips together. Dean parted his lips in surprise and Cas took the opportunity to snake his tongue inside, ravaging Dean’s mouth in slow sure strokes.
Dean belatedly realized he had stopped breathing and pushed back at Cas trying to convey that as much as he appreciated the impromptu lesson, he really did not want to die of asphyxiation in a hospital.
But Cas pushed him back and raised a hand to his lips, standing up and staring down at him in horror. “I’m… I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I… I shouldn’t… I should go… I…” He pushed past Dean and started running towards the exit.
Dean was up on his feet and running behind Cas, even before his mind could wrap around what had happened. “Cas… wait! Stop! Cas STOP!” Cas stopped so suddenly that Dean almost collided with him. “Cas… what’s wrong?” he asked yanking Cas around to face him. “Why did you run?”
“This…” Cas replied frantically waving his hands about. “This… this… everything. You don’t love me. I can’t do this… I thought I could… but I can’t... I had to leave. I have to leave.”
“What do you mean ‘I don’t love you’?” Dean asked confusion back in his voice. What was going on in that pretty head? “I kissed you, didn’t I?”
“To thank me,” Cas replied dejectedly. He looked at the utter disbelief and confusion on Dean’s face and continued. “That… that night you kissed me… you said you wanted to thank me. And you kept insisting we were friends… you made that perfectly clear… And I didn’t want you to think you owed me anything. That you needed to put out as some kind of payment…”
Dean gaped at him. Is that what he thought? Is that why he ran away? Because he thought Dean was trying to repay him. He grinned as everything suddenly fell into place. He didn’t know who was more stupid - him or Cas. He raised his hand and slapped at Cas’ head. “Idiot!” he said fondly. “Did you really think I would do something like that? Do you not know me at all? Asshole… I love you. I’ve loved since the first time I saw you on that dancefloor with Michael and I never stopped loving you. Ever. And you thought…” He huffed a laugh, the weight lifted off his chest. “Come ’ere,” he pulled Cas into him and kissed him softly, passionately… They separated and Dean slowly rubbed their heads together like he had the first time. “Thank you,” he said again… slowly, deliberately. “Thank you for being there, Cas. For not leaving me when I needed you the most. And for loving Sammy and not abandoning us because you couldn’t handle the responsibilities. Thank you Cas,” he whispered against his lips, before joining them once again.
“DEAN! CAS!” A panicked voice broke through their reverie.
“SAM!” As they separated and ran back to the room, Dean noticed that Cas’ brother had made himself scarce. They reached the room at the same time, to see a very scared Sam sitting up on the bed, his foot propped on the pillow the way Cas had adjusted earlier, the heavy plaster laden arm lying limping at his side.
Sam looked at them and a slow smile crept over his face. “Did you talk?” he asked turning his eyes to Cas. Cas nodded sheepishly as his hand found Dean's and laced their fingers together. “Does this mean you’re finally boyfriends now?” he pressed grinning.
Dean grinned back at him, walking forward and tugging Cas behind him, until they were standing before Sam. He removed his hand from Cas’ to sit beside his brother. “Yes,” he replied happily and looked up to see Cas grinning back at them, his eyes shining with love… the same look Dean had seen countless times in the past. How could he have not seen it before? “You happy now?” he asked his brother.
Sam nodded vigorously and flopped back on the bed. “I’m so glad my plan worked,” he said triumphantly before closing his eyes.