I <3 My Dad
My dad is awesome.
I remember one time when I was a little kid, my dad came home from work in a full Darth Vader suit that he had gotten from somewhere. No idea why. I totally thought he was actually Vader, and looking back, that was totally awesome.
He has great stories from when he was my age and older. Like the time he went with my uncle to a Rush concert, and got totally wasted before hand. They were walking across the road towards the stadium, and my dad didn't look before crossing, and got hit by a fuckin' car. My uncle rushed over to help, but by the time he got there, my dad was up and walking. He still denies to this day that it ever happened. Anyway, once they got in the concert, my dad promptly passes out. He wakes up for the pyrotechnics whenever Rush came on stage, and passed back out. Oh, but not after vomiting all over the huge biker in front of him. The guy turned around, and my uncle made up a story about how "OH MAN THAT GUY UP THERE *points up* TOTALLY PUKED" and saved my dad from getting his ass kicked.
And in college, when he got drunk and shaved half of his hed (he permed his hair into a fro because he ran marathons and didn't want the long hair in his face) and painted that half of his body green.
Or when he got drunk at a company party and put on "Manty Hose" (Panty hose with three legs) and danced on a table.
So, yeah, my dad likes getting ripped once in a while, but never did it around me or my brother. He always tried his best to be there for us kids, even when he had to work long hours, and I love him for it. Even when we don't get along, because I'm a douchebag 19 year old, he is always the first one to come up and apologize.
When he was in high school, he was a math genius. He was in his older brother's math class, and would tutor/do their homework for them. He was also a total jock. He played lacrosse, hockey, and ran marathons. I think I'm a bit of a disappointment for him, because I'm none of these things. I'm an awkward, gangly, english and psychology loving musician.
He got to play hockey with Bobby "The Golden Jet" Hull when he was younger. Bobby came to a practice for one of my dad's teams, and hopped on the ice and played with them.
He also came close to dying in one of his games. A guy on the opposite team cut open one of the arteries in his leg (I'm not good with anatomy, but whatever the big artery in your leg is, that was what was cut) and started bleeding all over the ice. He only lived because the manager of the other team knew enough first aid to save my dad's life.
He was also a total sucker for romance sort of things. He wrote poetry for the girls he dated, and the way he met my mom is hilarious. He went in to cash a check or something like that at the bank my mom worked at... 5 minutes before they closed. They had to keep open for another 20 minutes because of my dad. Because of that, they had a rule that you can only cash a check (or whatever it was) before a certain time. Anyway, my dad flirted with my mom, but forgot her name after he left. He came back a few days later, and tried to look in throught he window to see what her nametag said. My mom said it was absolutely embarrassing, but kind of endearing. Thats my dad!
He is also the world's worst singer, but always sings little diddy whenever it pops into his head. We all groan whenever he does, but secretly love it.
Plus, we are drinking buddies now. For instance, when we went on a cruise this spring break, we had a stop at Jamaica. So, of course, my dad and I had to go to Margaritaville. College has taught me terrible drinking habits, so I down my margarita and another beer in the time it takes my dad to drink his margarita. I keep drinking, and get through another four or five beers within an hour, so I'm pretty drunk. We decide to head downstairs where there is a dancefloor, get another beer, and take in the scenery. Well, the DJ yells out "WE'VE GOT FREE SHOTS!!!" and I think to myself, "eh, I'll pass."
My dad turns to me and says, "Hey, are you going for that free shot?"
"Uhh... no, I think I'm good."
My father gives me... I don't know how to explain it, but its that look that only a father can give a son, and says to me very sternly, "...Its free booze. Go take the shot." At this point, I can't turn him down without feeling absolutely emasculated, so, of course, I go and take the shot.
I don't know what was in it, but whatever it was, it had kicked my ass before. My throat closed up, and I knew I had to spew. I head towards the railing and spill my guts to the ocean. After I feel like I'm through, I turn back to my dad who is laughing and shaking his head. I go back, continue to drink my beer, thinking I'm alright.
I'm not alright.
I start walking back towards the railing, but I only make it halfway there. I puke up pure alcohol all over the floor. Its disgusting. I head upstairs to the bathroom to wash up. As I walk back down, I see my dad laughing his ass off. I asked him what was so funny.
He looks at me and says, "After you went upstairs, some guy walked through your puke... barefoot... and he slipped. Hahahah."
And that is why my dad is awesome.
I remember one time when I was a little kid, my dad came home from work in a full Darth Vader suit that he had gotten from somewhere. No idea why. I totally thought he was actually Vader, and looking back, that was totally awesome.
He has great stories from when he was my age and older. Like the time he went with my uncle to a Rush concert, and got totally wasted before hand. They were walking across the road towards the stadium, and my dad didn't look before crossing, and got hit by a fuckin' car. My uncle rushed over to help, but by the time he got there, my dad was up and walking. He still denies to this day that it ever happened. Anyway, once they got in the concert, my dad promptly passes out. He wakes up for the pyrotechnics whenever Rush came on stage, and passed back out. Oh, but not after vomiting all over the huge biker in front of him. The guy turned around, and my uncle made up a story about how "OH MAN THAT GUY UP THERE *points up* TOTALLY PUKED" and saved my dad from getting his ass kicked.
And in college, when he got drunk and shaved half of his hed (he permed his hair into a fro because he ran marathons and didn't want the long hair in his face) and painted that half of his body green.
Or when he got drunk at a company party and put on "Manty Hose" (Panty hose with three legs) and danced on a table.
So, yeah, my dad likes getting ripped once in a while, but never did it around me or my brother. He always tried his best to be there for us kids, even when he had to work long hours, and I love him for it. Even when we don't get along, because I'm a douchebag 19 year old, he is always the first one to come up and apologize.
When he was in high school, he was a math genius. He was in his older brother's math class, and would tutor/do their homework for them. He was also a total jock. He played lacrosse, hockey, and ran marathons. I think I'm a bit of a disappointment for him, because I'm none of these things. I'm an awkward, gangly, english and psychology loving musician.
He got to play hockey with Bobby "The Golden Jet" Hull when he was younger. Bobby came to a practice for one of my dad's teams, and hopped on the ice and played with them.
He also came close to dying in one of his games. A guy on the opposite team cut open one of the arteries in his leg (I'm not good with anatomy, but whatever the big artery in your leg is, that was what was cut) and started bleeding all over the ice. He only lived because the manager of the other team knew enough first aid to save my dad's life.
He was also a total sucker for romance sort of things. He wrote poetry for the girls he dated, and the way he met my mom is hilarious. He went in to cash a check or something like that at the bank my mom worked at... 5 minutes before they closed. They had to keep open for another 20 minutes because of my dad. Because of that, they had a rule that you can only cash a check (or whatever it was) before a certain time. Anyway, my dad flirted with my mom, but forgot her name after he left. He came back a few days later, and tried to look in throught he window to see what her nametag said. My mom said it was absolutely embarrassing, but kind of endearing. Thats my dad!
He is also the world's worst singer, but always sings little diddy whenever it pops into his head. We all groan whenever he does, but secretly love it.
Plus, we are drinking buddies now. For instance, when we went on a cruise this spring break, we had a stop at Jamaica. So, of course, my dad and I had to go to Margaritaville. College has taught me terrible drinking habits, so I down my margarita and another beer in the time it takes my dad to drink his margarita. I keep drinking, and get through another four or five beers within an hour, so I'm pretty drunk. We decide to head downstairs where there is a dancefloor, get another beer, and take in the scenery. Well, the DJ yells out "WE'VE GOT FREE SHOTS!!!" and I think to myself, "eh, I'll pass."
My dad turns to me and says, "Hey, are you going for that free shot?"
"Uhh... no, I think I'm good."
My father gives me... I don't know how to explain it, but its that look that only a father can give a son, and says to me very sternly, "...Its free booze. Go take the shot." At this point, I can't turn him down without feeling absolutely emasculated, so, of course, I go and take the shot.
I don't know what was in it, but whatever it was, it had kicked my ass before. My throat closed up, and I knew I had to spew. I head towards the railing and spill my guts to the ocean. After I feel like I'm through, I turn back to my dad who is laughing and shaking his head. I go back, continue to drink my beer, thinking I'm alright.
I'm not alright.
I start walking back towards the railing, but I only make it halfway there. I puke up pure alcohol all over the floor. Its disgusting. I head upstairs to the bathroom to wash up. As I walk back down, I see my dad laughing his ass off. I asked him what was so funny.
He looks at me and says, "After you went upstairs, some guy walked through your puke... barefoot... and he slipped. Hahahah."
And that is why my dad is awesome.