Structured insanity.. dont read if you think im happy
The blood that i cry
these angels that die
dont stop cuz it hurts (me)
I stare blankly into open space, wondering why the fuck im here.. my parents hate me.. and dont go for that whole no they love you there just doing what they do for you.. no they hate me.. if it wasnt for the fact that I love most of my CC people i woulda already moved back to my moms... what i do is appreciated there.. lets explain my family life.. dad was raised to age 10 by an alchalic mother and abusive father.. after that he ran away from his home and raised him self and three brothers.. now how can anything that happens in my life be bad compared to that? to him .. im lazy.. self centered.. never done days worth of work.. ignorant.. slob.. retard.. and just plain pathetic.. i really dont wanna be here.. i just want someone to love.. and be with.. because i lost the last one.. i feel empty like i dont have any meaning.. andmy dad informed me today that becuase of the way i have acted in the past 2 weeks (like always) that he was officially going to stop trying as a parent.. and that he didnt think i loved him.. WTF? why couldnt i have normal parents.. parents who let me ride in cars with other teenagers.. just some that were remotely human.. i want school to start.. so i can be away from them.. i dont think im going to try at all any more, seeming as im caring about everything less and less.. theres only a couple of things that bring me joy right now.. my band.. thanks dudes you guys are the shit.. my friends who are there for me.. only a few of them becuase im just a loser and shit.. and the empty spot in my heart.. becuase i can rember what it used to feel like to love.. dude i sound like a freaking emo kid. i better go before i turn into one.. i need someone.. anyone..
on a lighter note im going to write some wicked lyrics with all this SHIT thats happening in my life..
and i had fun at the movies,
call me or something
these angels that die
dont stop cuz it hurts (me)
I stare blankly into open space, wondering why the fuck im here.. my parents hate me.. and dont go for that whole no they love you there just doing what they do for you.. no they hate me.. if it wasnt for the fact that I love most of my CC people i woulda already moved back to my moms... what i do is appreciated there.. lets explain my family life.. dad was raised to age 10 by an alchalic mother and abusive father.. after that he ran away from his home and raised him self and three brothers.. now how can anything that happens in my life be bad compared to that? to him .. im lazy.. self centered.. never done days worth of work.. ignorant.. slob.. retard.. and just plain pathetic.. i really dont wanna be here.. i just want someone to love.. and be with.. because i lost the last one.. i feel empty like i dont have any meaning.. andmy dad informed me today that becuase of the way i have acted in the past 2 weeks (like always) that he was officially going to stop trying as a parent.. and that he didnt think i loved him.. WTF? why couldnt i have normal parents.. parents who let me ride in cars with other teenagers.. just some that were remotely human.. i want school to start.. so i can be away from them.. i dont think im going to try at all any more, seeming as im caring about everything less and less.. theres only a couple of things that bring me joy right now.. my band.. thanks dudes you guys are the shit.. my friends who are there for me.. only a few of them becuase im just a loser and shit.. and the empty spot in my heart.. becuase i can rember what it used to feel like to love.. dude i sound like a freaking emo kid. i better go before i turn into one.. i need someone.. anyone..
on a lighter note im going to write some wicked lyrics with all this SHIT thats happening in my life..
and i had fun at the movies,
call me or something