Spin me off...
And these are the rooms we'll live and die in. This is the city I spent too much time wishing my way out of. These are the people I'll never get to know, but leave them wondering what could have happened. Maybe it's all egotistical, knowing I've broken more than a fews fair share of hearts. But life's not fair, and I don't believe in falling for that shit. If you kiss them and leave them they'll only want you more. It's no coincidence you've found me here. All the angry girlfriends don't ever come looking for my door. I'm just a one night stand on your way to better things, only you'll never realize it. Fix me fix me fix me. That's all they hear, but I don't want their help. I keep them tongue-tied and leave them breathless while I make my way back east. Before, it was midwestern cities calling my name out loud and I was determined to asnswer back with open mouthed kisses. We never know how fast we can run until we start running. They always think they can stop you, you know? Baracade all the roads, but no one counts on you still having wings. Just because they're stationary doesn't mean that we all posses roots. But these are the feelings I won't ever feel again, that desire for anything (something). That is the day I told him god didn't exist. And these are the hours that don't ever pass quick enough, that make time run out like an uncertain bride. The days we wished would have happened sooner. The people we will never love because of bad timing. Because we're all just a little too insecure. Because I've grown too callous to care anymore. Because, because we're all too scared of finding out that happiness is internal. No one wants to know these things. We just want to search the rest of our lives always looking around the bend. It gives us hope. It gives us something to look forward for. It gives us something to dream about. Something we will never feel fufilled by. The bitter unhappiness we can hold on to forever. It helps us to create these words. Construct these canvases. Keep an air of mystery behind our eyes. Keep doubt in our smiles. Pain in our hearts. No one loves the happy girl. Not the girl that looks happy atleast. You've got to put on the front. Too bad I've got mine on backwards. But they're all looking anyway, like a car wreck on the highway. Maybe I shouldn't leave the house. But they stare stare stare, burning through me with vision that is no more sharp than their wit. When they approach I fight back with a forked tongue and razor slit eyes. Always give up. Only to draw them in like a siren lulls men to rocky shores. I kiss to get them going, a brush to keep them moving in just close enough to leave them trapped when I make my escape. I wish I could feel sorry, I wish I could feel anything. Used to think I was the worlds worst liar. But this was the boy who told me I lie with my mouth shut. I lie with my eyes. I lie with my lips. My tongue. My fingers. They tell the most extrordinary lies. And all the victims, they lay caught up in a sea, broken and lovelorn. I never look back. It's always best to just keep moving fast enough to leave your past behind your silouhette. I think it's best I just leave this wall up. I think it's better to just keep to myself. But they'll never let me, and this mouth will always get me into trouble. My eyes are bold, and the drinks are right. You may be taking be home, but you'll never fix this derailed train.
drunk.. ugh
drunk.. ugh