Not in the mood lately

[vindicated_lovr]

I don't know why.

I'm just so...lazy, etc.

Everyone's in the other room, drinking. I'm in my room by myself. Every time someone wanders in, I get annoyed.
I'm in here "studying," but really I'm not. I'm just wasting time.

I think I'm ready for break.

But then I'm not.

I'm dreading it and anticipating it at the same time.

I just feel like there's going to be unavoidable family ugliness. And honestly, I'm sick of dealing with it. Nothing is ever going to change to make things okay with us. I love them, but I seriously don't like them.
Just being around them actually disgusts me anymore.
I guess that makes me terrible.
It happens.

On the other hand, I'm looking forward to seeing the friends, etc. There's some dread there too, but I'd rather not go into it.
It's mostly happy anticipation.
I'll also be working, making money. WHOO!
And get my papers settled with SG.. finally. WHOO!
And no homework. Thank gawd.

I think I just need some TLC right now.
Behhhh.
Actually, I NEED to get some more homework done. So I'm gonna get crackin' on that.

<3<3<3