(no subject)
I still feel like I'm struggling through this feeling of loneliness. I find that I feel so desperately lonely during the summer and almost too popular during the school year. I have many aquaintances and a handful of close friends. I have never had a friend who has been there my whole life. Someone who's lived right down the street where I can easily walk to and hang out whenever. However I am thankful that I have the friends I have. Perhaps that story is only in books and films. Perhaps the things that I desire are simply unattainable. Unrealistic. But generally, the things Humans desire the most are things that are realistically attainable. The things that are generally unrealistic, Humans do not desire. It is the notion of possibility that triggersthe Human mind.
I feel undecided. Unsatisfied. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to think. As if I've thought of everything I'm capable of thinking about. I think I want friends to be here with me, but I'm not even sure. Sometimes I feel that I want to be too busy to bother with friends. But then why do I still feel lonely? Why do I always feel lonely? Why am I perpetually fatigued? I have no energy.
I want to love. I want to be in love. Whenever I love, I am not loved back. How do I even know what love is? I don't think I do. Does anyone know what love is? Love is what one makes it, I suppose.
I'm getting my wisdome teeth removed on the 28th. I will be off on pain killers for a few days. I hate the idea of chemicals being pumped into me, but at this point I don't mind being capable of slumber.
I think I'm in more pain than I'm willing to admit to anyone. Is there relief in sight? I was doing so well for so long. I felt so refreshed. Why is all of this coming back?
I just need my friends....
I feel undecided. Unsatisfied. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to think. As if I've thought of everything I'm capable of thinking about. I think I want friends to be here with me, but I'm not even sure. Sometimes I feel that I want to be too busy to bother with friends. But then why do I still feel lonely? Why do I always feel lonely? Why am I perpetually fatigued? I have no energy.
I want to love. I want to be in love. Whenever I love, I am not loved back. How do I even know what love is? I don't think I do. Does anyone know what love is? Love is what one makes it, I suppose.
I'm getting my wisdome teeth removed on the 28th. I will be off on pain killers for a few days. I hate the idea of chemicals being pumped into me, but at this point I don't mind being capable of slumber.
I think I'm in more pain than I'm willing to admit to anyone. Is there relief in sight? I was doing so well for so long. I felt so refreshed. Why is all of this coming back?
I just need my friends....