The last 6 days...
Have been insane!
I have my snake bites..
They are so fucking swollen. Tonight I ended up in the E.R. Not for me but for Jayson. His tooth has been bugging him for like 4 days now. I was taking a nap ealier tonight and he woke me up in pain. I was really worried about him. So I packed up the little one and asked my neighbor to watch him for me. [Thank you so much Jesse.] & I called Casper to come and get us. We have to go to the dentist at 8 this morning, so I'm not going to sleep. I have to call Danielle before 7 to get her up & I have to call Casper @ 7. If I go to sleep, no one will be up. Plus, my son is going to be up soon. So I'm sitting here at my computer with 3 Mt Dew's and a bowl of pot. ;] I really don't have anything else to do and I have to stay up. It's only 5.
I could kill Amber for lying to her mother about me. Why in the world would I tell her to give me her my money so me and my friends could get drunk?! God, that's so lame. & I love Kelly so much; I had to tell her the truth. I don't want her to think that about me. The worst part is, if I really wanted to fight with Amber, I can't. She's only fucking 17. It just makes me sick that she uses people and can just lie about it. Like it doesn't matter. I can't fucking trust anyone. It drives me crazy. :/
I'm also angry at Kit. For not bringing my brothers to see my son. Just because we don't want her to see him. She doesn't deserve it. I don't understand why these people who don't do shit for me or my family expect that just because I had him, they deserve to see him. Fuck that. I'm sick of everyone telling me what to do. Fuck you. I gave birth to him, not fucking anyone else.
Sometimes I worry about me & Jayson. I know he loves me, and I love him. But sometimes we fight so bad. I hate when that happens. It breaks my heart when he's mad at me. I'm just glad he was finally able to get a job somewhere. It was making him crazy not being able to take care of us. But what he doesn't understand is that I never thought any less of him. He's my whole world. My rock. I can't believe that we're here, our own place, our son. It's crazy. But, I've never been happier. I love being Vincents mommy and his wife. They mean the world to me. I love staying home taking care of my little guy. Nothing has ever made me as happy as the little smiles my son gives me. Or the way he yawns when he's really sleepy. He is the most amazing thing in the world to me. Watching him look around and discover new things around him...
<3
The strands in your eyes
That color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
And emeralds from mountains
Thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated; I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache
That hangs from above
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
And you're my survival
You're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead
And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated; I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache
That hangs from above
And I've dropped out, I've burned up
I fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on
Remembered the thing that you said
I have my snake bites..
They are so fucking swollen. Tonight I ended up in the E.R. Not for me but for Jayson. His tooth has been bugging him for like 4 days now. I was taking a nap ealier tonight and he woke me up in pain. I was really worried about him. So I packed up the little one and asked my neighbor to watch him for me. [Thank you so much Jesse.] & I called Casper to come and get us. We have to go to the dentist at 8 this morning, so I'm not going to sleep. I have to call Danielle before 7 to get her up & I have to call Casper @ 7. If I go to sleep, no one will be up. Plus, my son is going to be up soon. So I'm sitting here at my computer with 3 Mt Dew's and a bowl of pot. ;] I really don't have anything else to do and I have to stay up. It's only 5.
I could kill Amber for lying to her mother about me. Why in the world would I tell her to give me her my money so me and my friends could get drunk?! God, that's so lame. & I love Kelly so much; I had to tell her the truth. I don't want her to think that about me. The worst part is, if I really wanted to fight with Amber, I can't. She's only fucking 17. It just makes me sick that she uses people and can just lie about it. Like it doesn't matter. I can't fucking trust anyone. It drives me crazy. :/
I'm also angry at Kit. For not bringing my brothers to see my son. Just because we don't want her to see him. She doesn't deserve it. I don't understand why these people who don't do shit for me or my family expect that just because I had him, they deserve to see him. Fuck that. I'm sick of everyone telling me what to do. Fuck you. I gave birth to him, not fucking anyone else.
Sometimes I worry about me & Jayson. I know he loves me, and I love him. But sometimes we fight so bad. I hate when that happens. It breaks my heart when he's mad at me. I'm just glad he was finally able to get a job somewhere. It was making him crazy not being able to take care of us. But what he doesn't understand is that I never thought any less of him. He's my whole world. My rock. I can't believe that we're here, our own place, our son. It's crazy. But, I've never been happier. I love being Vincents mommy and his wife. They mean the world to me. I love staying home taking care of my little guy. Nothing has ever made me as happy as the little smiles my son gives me. Or the way he yawns when he's really sleepy. He is the most amazing thing in the world to me. Watching him look around and discover new things around him...
<3
The strands in your eyes
That color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
And emeralds from mountains
Thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated; I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache
That hangs from above
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
And you're my survival
You're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead
And tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated; I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache
That hangs from above
And I've dropped out, I've burned up
I fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on
Remembered the thing that you said