familiar feelings

[vincentpanxp]

a situation has changed drastically and with it my mentality should follow but i'm not going to let it change. i stand by my beliefs no matter what, even if i know that what i believe in is inherently wrong, i'm an asshole like that i guess. trust me, nothing has changed, i still hate you as much as i ever did.did i ever mention that i have a photographic memory, but it doesn't stop there, i can remember situations as vividly as if they were happening as i was remembering them, i never forget anything, especially my feelings during a situation, but i have to make an effort to think about it; it's not like remember the past all the time. strangely, the best nmemonic device for me is a song. well, i listened to two songs today, and it triggered a memory i haven't thought of for a long time and it reminded me of how weak i still am. another trigger today, was gummy worms. i think that was the candy i ate most as a kid and i hadn't eaten it for several years and i just randomly decided to buy a pack today. just the sequence of colors on a piece of candy reminded me of the carefree happiness of a child, and a flood of memories came back. i bit my lower lip and held back the emotions. right now, in my life, it seems as the repression and denial is coming back to haunt me and it's getting worse as time progresses. i stopped the running, now the things chasing me have began catching up, got to fight them.fumikomuze akuseru kake hiki wa naisa sou dayo
youru wo nukeru
nejikomu sa saigo ni sashihiki zero sa sou dayo
hibi wo kezuru

kokoro wo sotto hiraite gyutto hiki yosetara
todokuyo kitto tsutau yo motto sa aa

iki isoide shiboritotte
motsureru ashi dakedo mae yori zutto sou tokue

ubaitotte tsukandatte
kimi ja nai nara imi was naniosa

dakara motto motto motto haruka kanata

fumikomuze akuseru kake hiki wa naisa sou dayo
youru wo nukeru
nejikomu sa saigo ni sashihiki zero sa sou dayo
hibi wo kezuru

kokoro wo sotto hiraite gyutto hiki yosetara
todokuyo kitto tsutau yo motto sa aa

iki isoide shiboritotte
motsureru ashi dakedo mae yori zutto sou tokue

ubaitotte tsukandatte
kimi ja nai nara imi was naniosa

dakara haruka kanata

itsuwaru ko do ni nareta kimi no sekai wo
murizubusu no sa shiroku shirou