At Peace.............for now.

[vincentkdivine]

Just wraped up a long friday night that spilled over into saturday. Honestly, I wasn't real excited when the night began, but everything worked itself out. It started with a call to Andrew, seeking something to occupy my mind and my time while I do my best to not think about the situation regarding Allison. The answer provided was that they were trying to think of something to do and would get back to me. This was, of course, followed by a call from the very person I didn't want to talk to. My immediate thought was that she was with Andrew at this very moment, which was quickly confirmed. I was persuaded, after short discussion, to come hang out with them anyway. I met Venom, Andrew, Trent Jones and Allison at Wal-Mart in Brooklyn Park, where we immediatly blended in with that crowd (Sarcastic remark). Afterwards Venom, Andrew and I ended up at White Castle where I recieved and invite to Bakers Square from Allison. Of course, being the sweet girl she is, I didn't pay for my food and had a delicious pita thing, while Trent Jones just sat there and sipped water. Afterwards, we ended up sitting in my truck for like, 2 1/2 hours trying to think of something to do, as Trent Jones was very much against the idea of watching movies at Venom's. This is where my night got a little uncomfortable, as Allison decided cuddling up to me was a good idea. I started this fucking night trying to get away from just thoughts of this woman, and now the real thing is hanging around my neck. Honestly, I wasn't too cool with this. However, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to get into a fight in front of Trent Jones. Plus, she seemed very happy and I can't bring myself to be that kind of a prick to certain people. I've said enough to Allison at that point, she knew how pissed I was. No point in ruining her good mood just to be a dick. Anyway, we went back to Venom's, where everyone was watching Crash. This movie looks REALLY fucking stupid. You don't get to see Sandra Bullock fall down the fucking stairs. It's cool hanging out with Venom, because I don't get to often. Also, his roomate Richard is good shit. Here's where I begin to warm up to Ally just a bit, because it's obvious she's feeling guilty over the fact that I'm very angry, to the point where I offered to stay the fuck home rather than hang around with my buddies and her. During a session of Madden 2006 with Trent Jones (I want a rematch, fuck face!), she curled up behind me on my recliner and rubbed my back and neck. This is my weakness, and she knows this, damn her. All night, I had been trying so hard to keep conversations with her to a minimum. I know, I'm a sucker, but she was being so damn sweet that I had to open up to her a bit. Everyone else feel asleep during Ernest Saves Christmas (movie selection: Trent Jones) and we had what ended up to be a very emotional discussion. My whole problem with Allison and this situation is that I never knew what she was thinking or feeling. No matter what I asked or how much I asked it, the answer was always "I don't know". This time, I finally got some answers and I feel a lot better. Of course, I'm not happy about the fact that we're not together. But I can't force her to come back to me and a lot has changed. After a tearful (Yeah, that's right. TEARFUL. Fuck you, you don't like it.) exchange, I feel much better and reassured as far as Allison and I are concerned. We're broken up, yes, but now everything is on the table and the healing can begin.

So there it is, the night started with me trying to get away from Ally, and ended with a tearful reconciliation about 24 hours after I said that I hated her. She's a great person, a real sweet girl and a terrific friend. She made some mistakes that I won't forget or necessarily forgive, but she's only human and still young. All that matters is that we're both in a much happier state of mind and that this isn't "good-bye".

Hugs and headlocks,
VD