Fault
Last Saturday today was the last performance and strike of a play that I was in. I was part of the run crew. When I first started, I thought, 'Hey, a chance to meet some people my own age.' But at the auditions, I only saw these kids; ages from 9 to 14. 14 was the maximum. But it was the second day for auditions, so maybe there were older people that came in the first day. Nope, not a chance. So I was stuck working with a bunch of middle schoolers. No way to get out, for I was chosen to be part of the Props crew, which was also part of the run crew.
But during tech week and the play there was this girl that caught my eye. She was the stage manger of the play. She seemed quite nice, and she fit my cup of tea looks wise. I tried talking to her on several occasions, but it never went anywhere. Just some small talk, complements, that sort of thing. But all the while, I never really knew how old she was. The first time I saw her, I though she was in her early twenties. But it turned out, she was the same age as me. I couldn't believe it.
So, on the last day of the production, I felt very strange when I woke up. In a half-conscious daze, I began telling myself things. My brain was telling me to ask for her email. I kept on convincing myself to do this. I thought, 'Everyone is doing this, why not you? She won't freak out on you, that's too ridiculous.' I have never, ever felt that kind of confidence in myself. So I got up, and throughout the day, I felt the same confidence, but on a lower scale. But the moment I saw her, I completely lost the nerve.
At the end of the day, we were all signing out to leave. As I stepped out, I saw her walking to her car. She was alone. Why didn't I approach her then! The moment couldn't be better! But do you want to know why I didn't?
I'm a coward. A candy-ass, mousy, timid coward.
One good thing could have come out of this whole mess. But because of my lack of pluck, it will never be.
But during tech week and the play there was this girl that caught my eye. She was the stage manger of the play. She seemed quite nice, and she fit my cup of tea looks wise. I tried talking to her on several occasions, but it never went anywhere. Just some small talk, complements, that sort of thing. But all the while, I never really knew how old she was. The first time I saw her, I though she was in her early twenties. But it turned out, she was the same age as me. I couldn't believe it.
So, on the last day of the production, I felt very strange when I woke up. In a half-conscious daze, I began telling myself things. My brain was telling me to ask for her email. I kept on convincing myself to do this. I thought, 'Everyone is doing this, why not you? She won't freak out on you, that's too ridiculous.' I have never, ever felt that kind of confidence in myself. So I got up, and throughout the day, I felt the same confidence, but on a lower scale. But the moment I saw her, I completely lost the nerve.
At the end of the day, we were all signing out to leave. As I stepped out, I saw her walking to her car. She was alone. Why didn't I approach her then! The moment couldn't be better! But do you want to know why I didn't?
I'm a coward. A candy-ass, mousy, timid coward.
One good thing could have come out of this whole mess. But because of my lack of pluck, it will never be.