A slap for Kricket ?
For all those women who felt robbed by the Indian Premier League of their favourite saas-bahu kahaniyaans, the Harbhajan-Sreesanth episode offers a glimmer of hope. For close to a decade, prime time television viewing in India had been dominated by women who wouldn't hesitate to keep their kitchens closed and their husbands and sons starving, just to watch Tulsi and Parvati shed tears that made enough water to solve Bangalore's growing water crisis. But now with even grandma, grandpa and the tiny toddler wanting to catch up with the latest frenzy in town, the balance and the remote control have slowly shifted into the hands of men, simultaneously increasing the prospects of an early dinner. The IPL has indeed landed a major blow to the womenfolk of our country.
The call for a war
Although Set Max has been trying its best to soften the blow by choosing "all brawn no brain" anchors, who make you feel that you are watching a melodramatic soap opera instead of a cricket match, the women clearly weren't happy with such short measures. Cricket is too sober for their liking and they seemed to be missing the rona-dhona, family feuds, fist fights and sibling rivalry that they had got used to. Something drastic had to be done, perhaps an all-out war to take the game to a completely new level. The war cry was sounded a long time ago and Ekta, the Kween of Indian primetime television, was chosen to spearhead the attack.
The Ekta strategy - "Konvert, not replace"
Ekta's war to regain prime time television supremacy has been brewing for a while now and it made its first major public appearance at the IPL match between Mumbai and Punjab. Sreesanth's crying act brought back memories of Tulsi weeping inconsolably, with Baa also contributing in equal measure to empathize with Tulsi.
I believe that the strategy is to not overthrow the game and replace it with Tulsi's and Parvati's , but to infest cricket to such an extent that it would end up resembling a whining slam-bam drama. The women can then watch cricket and not worry about the Kyunki's and the Kasauti's. A neat strategy I must say !
Ekta War 101
Just like the Tibetans protesting Chinese dominance, Ekta has also been picking key events to drive home the saas-bahu point. The recently concluded series between India and Australia was one such event where an attempt was made to convert the game into a never ending roller coaster ride of emotions and bad breath.
A typical saas-bahu ordeal consists of two wealthy rival families that are involved in some sort of a business. One of the families (the good guys) has always adopted the right way of doing business while the other (the bad guys) has often given into crooked ways and made a lot of bad money. Now the bad guys start eyeing the wealth of the good guys and the whole serial is basically about how the bad loot the good and how the good retaliate towards the end.
The soft spoken Indian team resembled the good guys I spoke about and of course, the Aussies were the bad guys. With both teams established as major cricketing powers, it was time to decide who the undisputed king was. The setting provided Ekta her "home advantage" and she didn't want to lose this opportunity to inflict a hostile takeover. By intelligently choosing Harby and Symmo as her chief protagonists, she unleashed an emotional crusade that took attention off the cricket field and focussed it straight into the match referee's office. Intense drama followed soon after and men couldn't believe the sight of their wives and mothers tuning into Harsha Bhogle instead of Smriti Irani. Harby, the good guy, never imagined that his strongest support would come from the women of his country.
Ekta had successfully made her point, a point so subtle that nobody in India except Anil Kumble took notice of it ! While the rest of the nation thought that Harby and Symmo were being the tough sportsmen that we have known them to be, Kumble smelt trouble. Kumble's meek response, a speech on the true spirit of the game, surprisingly brushed aside all hostilities and restored the game's sobriety. Some good spirit from Mallya's breweries also helped ease up the tension a bit.
But how did cricket crazy India miss Ekta's point ?
After having spent some time watching a couple of Kyunki episodes, I have come to realize that "missing the point" is very crucial for the prolonged success and viewership of a serial like Kyunki.. In fact, this is exactly the attribute that Ekta prefers to see in her avid fans and chooses to exploit to the greatest extent possible. Let me give you an example:
When the bad family unleashes its wily plan against the good family, it is generally the eldest daughter-in-law in the good family who first gets wind of the plan. She immediately cautions her father-in-law ("the dad") about the dangers that are lurking nearby. The dad, for some weird reason, chooses to ignore her words completely and lives his life as though nothing is ever going to disturb his peace. Four hundred episodes later, trouble shows up at his doorstep and the dad is left wondering as to how he could ever miss his daughter-in-law's point.
When it is finally time to retaliate, the eldest son in the family goes against his dad's wish of seeking legal counsel and instead employs a bunch of thugs to get rid of the bad family. Six hundred episodes later there's more trouble, more misery and more bloodshed. The family sits together over a cup of chai and decides that legal counsel is the best step forward. The eldest son, who is the wisest of all sons, is left wondering as to how he could ever miss his dad's point.
Two thousand episodes later when the good has finally triumphed over the bad, you would expect the serial to wind up and make way for another drudgery. Instead, what follows is hundreds of episodes of mindless story telling that makes you wonder where Ekta is heading with her serial anyway. At a wedding reception that I attended recently, I happened to listen to this conversation between my aunts:
Aunt 1: So where's that serial heading ?
Aunt 2: I have no clue. Once Karan got married, I thought it was time for another K party.
Aunt 1: I know ! I mean, after six thousand episodes, the whole thing looks so pointless to me !
Pointless ... that's exactly the point that my aunts missed and it took them six thousand episodes to figure that all this saas-bahu cr*p is pointless and there are better things to life like the IPL. My aunts went searching for a point when there wasn't supposed to be a point after all !
Ekta is an expert at making people miss the point.
Still with me ?
If you feel lost reading through this post, you have missed my point and you should go watch some Kyunki instead.
Else, read further.
OK, so we do have a problem here
Of course we have a problem. I am glad you realised. Obviously we cannot allow Ekta to rule the game. It's time for the purists to wake-up and disinfect cricket. There's more to the Harby-Sree episode that what meets the eye. Three of the games most watched cricketers have now been bought and if nothing is done to nip the Ekta war in the bud, the day is not far when the game might well get christened "Kricket".
(cross posted at my WordPress blog too)
The call for a war
Although Set Max has been trying its best to soften the blow by choosing "all brawn no brain" anchors, who make you feel that you are watching a melodramatic soap opera instead of a cricket match, the women clearly weren't happy with such short measures. Cricket is too sober for their liking and they seemed to be missing the rona-dhona, family feuds, fist fights and sibling rivalry that they had got used to. Something drastic had to be done, perhaps an all-out war to take the game to a completely new level. The war cry was sounded a long time ago and Ekta, the Kween of Indian primetime television, was chosen to spearhead the attack.
The Ekta strategy - "Konvert, not replace"
Ekta's war to regain prime time television supremacy has been brewing for a while now and it made its first major public appearance at the IPL match between Mumbai and Punjab. Sreesanth's crying act brought back memories of Tulsi weeping inconsolably, with Baa also contributing in equal measure to empathize with Tulsi.
I believe that the strategy is to not overthrow the game and replace it with Tulsi's and Parvati's , but to infest cricket to such an extent that it would end up resembling a whining slam-bam drama. The women can then watch cricket and not worry about the Kyunki's and the Kasauti's. A neat strategy I must say !
Ekta War 101
Just like the Tibetans protesting Chinese dominance, Ekta has also been picking key events to drive home the saas-bahu point. The recently concluded series between India and Australia was one such event where an attempt was made to convert the game into a never ending roller coaster ride of emotions and bad breath.
A typical saas-bahu ordeal consists of two wealthy rival families that are involved in some sort of a business. One of the families (the good guys) has always adopted the right way of doing business while the other (the bad guys) has often given into crooked ways and made a lot of bad money. Now the bad guys start eyeing the wealth of the good guys and the whole serial is basically about how the bad loot the good and how the good retaliate towards the end.
The soft spoken Indian team resembled the good guys I spoke about and of course, the Aussies were the bad guys. With both teams established as major cricketing powers, it was time to decide who the undisputed king was. The setting provided Ekta her "home advantage" and she didn't want to lose this opportunity to inflict a hostile takeover. By intelligently choosing Harby and Symmo as her chief protagonists, she unleashed an emotional crusade that took attention off the cricket field and focussed it straight into the match referee's office. Intense drama followed soon after and men couldn't believe the sight of their wives and mothers tuning into Harsha Bhogle instead of Smriti Irani. Harby, the good guy, never imagined that his strongest support would come from the women of his country.
Ekta had successfully made her point, a point so subtle that nobody in India except Anil Kumble took notice of it ! While the rest of the nation thought that Harby and Symmo were being the tough sportsmen that we have known them to be, Kumble smelt trouble. Kumble's meek response, a speech on the true spirit of the game, surprisingly brushed aside all hostilities and restored the game's sobriety. Some good spirit from Mallya's breweries also helped ease up the tension a bit.
But how did cricket crazy India miss Ekta's point ?
After having spent some time watching a couple of Kyunki episodes, I have come to realize that "missing the point" is very crucial for the prolonged success and viewership of a serial like Kyunki.. In fact, this is exactly the attribute that Ekta prefers to see in her avid fans and chooses to exploit to the greatest extent possible. Let me give you an example:
When the bad family unleashes its wily plan against the good family, it is generally the eldest daughter-in-law in the good family who first gets wind of the plan. She immediately cautions her father-in-law ("the dad") about the dangers that are lurking nearby. The dad, for some weird reason, chooses to ignore her words completely and lives his life as though nothing is ever going to disturb his peace. Four hundred episodes later, trouble shows up at his doorstep and the dad is left wondering as to how he could ever miss his daughter-in-law's point.
When it is finally time to retaliate, the eldest son in the family goes against his dad's wish of seeking legal counsel and instead employs a bunch of thugs to get rid of the bad family. Six hundred episodes later there's more trouble, more misery and more bloodshed. The family sits together over a cup of chai and decides that legal counsel is the best step forward. The eldest son, who is the wisest of all sons, is left wondering as to how he could ever miss his dad's point.
Two thousand episodes later when the good has finally triumphed over the bad, you would expect the serial to wind up and make way for another drudgery. Instead, what follows is hundreds of episodes of mindless story telling that makes you wonder where Ekta is heading with her serial anyway. At a wedding reception that I attended recently, I happened to listen to this conversation between my aunts:
Aunt 1: So where's that serial heading ?
Aunt 2: I have no clue. Once Karan got married, I thought it was time for another K party.
Aunt 1: I know ! I mean, after six thousand episodes, the whole thing looks so pointless to me !
Pointless ... that's exactly the point that my aunts missed and it took them six thousand episodes to figure that all this saas-bahu cr*p is pointless and there are better things to life like the IPL. My aunts went searching for a point when there wasn't supposed to be a point after all !
Ekta is an expert at making people miss the point.
Still with me ?
If you feel lost reading through this post, you have missed my point and you should go watch some Kyunki instead.
Else, read further.
OK, so we do have a problem here
Of course we have a problem. I am glad you realised. Obviously we cannot allow Ekta to rule the game. It's time for the purists to wake-up and disinfect cricket. There's more to the Harby-Sree episode that what meets the eye. Three of the games most watched cricketers have now been bought and if nothing is done to nip the Ekta war in the bud, the day is not far when the game might well get christened "Kricket".
(cross posted at my WordPress blog too)