(no subject)
The medicine is starting to work, I noticed it about a week ago. I could do simple tasks without having to mentally prepare myself to do them. Seven days later I feel like a robot. Now I do things without thinking about them, but lucky for me they are all the right things. I just feel like the last one to know when I elaborately comment on someone's sweater or tear into grading a pile of homework. Today on the bus I noted to myself that a young well-formed mouth looks like an ark with the upper lip forming the rafters. It stays anchored under the nose, opening and closing, pink with life and constantly embarking and disembarking. Then my mind froze in disbelief at my own poetic revelation.
This reminds me of the first time I went traying at college. There is a steep hill that becomes a sparkling skirt when the snow falls under a full moon. When this happens, everyone on campus is drawn to it in groups, bearing little red trays from the student center and ready to tickle their hearts with adrenaline. The first time I went, I cautiously sat on my tray at the edge of the slope and asked my more experienced companion, "How should I get started?" By the time I finished the sentence I was at the bottom of the hill.
I had a date on Saturday. Seeing that it went a lot better than I expected I think we'll see each other again, maybe after I move next week. He's interesting and thoughtful. At first I was a little weary about meeting him, but now I'm not guarding my trust as much, even though I probably should still be clinging tightly onto it. One thing I am concerned about is that he's very embedded in the Russian community, and I can see some issues coming up with that. Anyways, I'm not going to put the cart before the horse just yet.
After the date I went with a friend to see "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". This was one of the rare movies that I kept thinking about after I left the theatre. I started to think of certain people I would like to forget and how there are certain things I shared with them that are worth remembering, because those were moments when I was turned inside-out with happiness. Before I used to remember those times and think that maybe it would not hurt to get back in touch with those who cheated and hurt me, but now I think the memories I want to keep are more valuable then reëstablishing a relationship with them. I think of my last trip to Spain, and how I spent a wonderful week with a friend only to find out that his good deeds and intimacy were a sham. Before this weekend I couldn't bear to recall that week because inevitably I would feel angry and hurt and ask why. But now I can simply remember and smile.
This reminds me of the first time I went traying at college. There is a steep hill that becomes a sparkling skirt when the snow falls under a full moon. When this happens, everyone on campus is drawn to it in groups, bearing little red trays from the student center and ready to tickle their hearts with adrenaline. The first time I went, I cautiously sat on my tray at the edge of the slope and asked my more experienced companion, "How should I get started?" By the time I finished the sentence I was at the bottom of the hill.
I had a date on Saturday. Seeing that it went a lot better than I expected I think we'll see each other again, maybe after I move next week. He's interesting and thoughtful. At first I was a little weary about meeting him, but now I'm not guarding my trust as much, even though I probably should still be clinging tightly onto it. One thing I am concerned about is that he's very embedded in the Russian community, and I can see some issues coming up with that. Anyways, I'm not going to put the cart before the horse just yet.
After the date I went with a friend to see "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". This was one of the rare movies that I kept thinking about after I left the theatre. I started to think of certain people I would like to forget and how there are certain things I shared with them that are worth remembering, because those were moments when I was turned inside-out with happiness. Before I used to remember those times and think that maybe it would not hurt to get back in touch with those who cheated and hurt me, but now I think the memories I want to keep are more valuable then reëstablishing a relationship with them. I think of my last trip to Spain, and how I spent a wonderful week with a friend only to find out that his good deeds and intimacy were a sham. Before this weekend I couldn't bear to recall that week because inevitably I would feel angry and hurt and ask why. But now I can simply remember and smile.