(no subject)
i'm the hunter you are my prey.
i loved you so much, and now it is time for me to move on because you have another.
i will love you. i always have.
i want to still be with you, and dream about you almost every night. and last nights scared me the most. but at least i was in your arms.
there is a new boy... he isn't nearly as good as you. he doesn't open doors, or let me walk first, he treats me like a guy friend, ... only we kiss. but we can still have fun. it is weird. i was holding his hand, and i was kissing him, but you kept popping in my head, and i had to stop ... i wanted to kiss him, but i want to save my virtue for you... and i will still wait. but i am going to date and see other people, just like you are.. because i am sick and tired of being sad, and i just want to be happy, and not mopey.... i dunno. ... i love you soo much, but without you here, and without you trying to at least care about me, i feel like i can't care about you, because you don't care about me. you won't even talk to me. at school, when you came to get your brother, you wouldn't even look at me, or in my direction. and i know i have done that to you... but... i at least still talked to you... and i still try and talk to you, and you can never talk anymore. and you spend all your time with her, and i am totally fine with that, i just wish you would still talk to me, or at least let me say hi. i haven't seen you in a long time and talked to you.. and i miss you. dearly. i miss trying to get my father to take me there everyday so i could say hi. and just be with you, and i know i am acting un rash... but when i hurt myself, it is only because i get pleasure out of it.. which is wrong, but i can't find happiness hardly anywhere else... and i hate it.. i miss being happy... and i miss the way we were.. i hate how i have to kiss him to make him still come around, and how i have to call him. he does call me... and i am sure he would still come around if i didn't kiss him, i just feel like that is what he is looking for.. and not love, and i only want love, and i only want you. and i only want to love you. and it is too, hard to say i love you, and have you tell someone else you love them. i dunno... maybe i am just stupid. and maybe everything that happens is my fault. my hand and heart will soon heal. my heart being the longest. and when it heals, eternity will have ended.
i wrap my bloody hand around your neck,
and i can't do it.
to know how it is to suffocate, and know how hard it is to breath,
is too, hard for me to watch you suffer.
but i want you to hurt, as mean as that is, i want to know that you are sad, because with out you, that is all i am, and i want you to be the same.
but you are happy as you will be and show.
but don't put on a facade. and don't get me back.
youre just to good to be true. and remember, you were the one that gave me that cd, and it said that you would be waiting. and now you love another, and your word is never false. you are always truthful, and now i feel as though you have lied to someone you once loved. and i hate how you won't say it back. i hate how much i hurt, and how happy you are. i need you. and i hate how i can't tell you anymore, because i promised i wouldn't. and i hate how the word love doesn't even mean what i am feeling.
my hand is cold, no circulation.
my arm is cold, no circulation.
my body is cold, no circulation.
my heart, my soul, is dead. no love. only lust for another boy.
hell's flames are in my eyes.
vomit spills from my soul, of waste, of shame.
drowning in blood from a window and fainting.
why don't you look at me the same.
what have I done.
i still love you. and if you never love me again. please know, and understand i will always love you. i will. you have given me new air, and new life.
you told her you would love her forever, and said that forever isn't long enough, but it is when you are suffering, and i will suffer everyday for you. i am willing to do anything for you. and i only wish you would tell me to hate you, so it would be easier to move on. and i can see now why you don't love me. because i said that to you. and i regret it. i regret it hard. i regret it most. i have a feeling he left me. i have a feeling i have made him leave me. forever...
i loved you so much, and now it is time for me to move on because you have another.
i will love you. i always have.
i want to still be with you, and dream about you almost every night. and last nights scared me the most. but at least i was in your arms.
there is a new boy... he isn't nearly as good as you. he doesn't open doors, or let me walk first, he treats me like a guy friend, ... only we kiss. but we can still have fun. it is weird. i was holding his hand, and i was kissing him, but you kept popping in my head, and i had to stop ... i wanted to kiss him, but i want to save my virtue for you... and i will still wait. but i am going to date and see other people, just like you are.. because i am sick and tired of being sad, and i just want to be happy, and not mopey.... i dunno. ... i love you soo much, but without you here, and without you trying to at least care about me, i feel like i can't care about you, because you don't care about me. you won't even talk to me. at school, when you came to get your brother, you wouldn't even look at me, or in my direction. and i know i have done that to you... but... i at least still talked to you... and i still try and talk to you, and you can never talk anymore. and you spend all your time with her, and i am totally fine with that, i just wish you would still talk to me, or at least let me say hi. i haven't seen you in a long time and talked to you.. and i miss you. dearly. i miss trying to get my father to take me there everyday so i could say hi. and just be with you, and i know i am acting un rash... but when i hurt myself, it is only because i get pleasure out of it.. which is wrong, but i can't find happiness hardly anywhere else... and i hate it.. i miss being happy... and i miss the way we were.. i hate how i have to kiss him to make him still come around, and how i have to call him. he does call me... and i am sure he would still come around if i didn't kiss him, i just feel like that is what he is looking for.. and not love, and i only want love, and i only want you. and i only want to love you. and it is too, hard to say i love you, and have you tell someone else you love them. i dunno... maybe i am just stupid. and maybe everything that happens is my fault. my hand and heart will soon heal. my heart being the longest. and when it heals, eternity will have ended.
i wrap my bloody hand around your neck,
and i can't do it.
to know how it is to suffocate, and know how hard it is to breath,
is too, hard for me to watch you suffer.
but i want you to hurt, as mean as that is, i want to know that you are sad, because with out you, that is all i am, and i want you to be the same.
but you are happy as you will be and show.
but don't put on a facade. and don't get me back.
youre just to good to be true. and remember, you were the one that gave me that cd, and it said that you would be waiting. and now you love another, and your word is never false. you are always truthful, and now i feel as though you have lied to someone you once loved. and i hate how you won't say it back. i hate how much i hurt, and how happy you are. i need you. and i hate how i can't tell you anymore, because i promised i wouldn't. and i hate how the word love doesn't even mean what i am feeling.
my hand is cold, no circulation.
my arm is cold, no circulation.
my body is cold, no circulation.
my heart, my soul, is dead. no love. only lust for another boy.
hell's flames are in my eyes.
vomit spills from my soul, of waste, of shame.
drowning in blood from a window and fainting.
why don't you look at me the same.
what have I done.
i still love you. and if you never love me again. please know, and understand i will always love you. i will. you have given me new air, and new life.
you told her you would love her forever, and said that forever isn't long enough, but it is when you are suffering, and i will suffer everyday for you. i am willing to do anything for you. and i only wish you would tell me to hate you, so it would be easier to move on. and i can see now why you don't love me. because i said that to you. and i regret it. i regret it hard. i regret it most. i have a feeling he left me. i have a feeling i have made him leave me. forever...