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Chapter 1 : Résiste
Chapter 1 :Résiste
Kurt Hummel was exhausted. Just today, he had graduated from the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts. Time had passed since the first time he’d heard about the school. He had just left his family, who had come to New York to spend this important day of his life with him and Rachel, who had also just graduated with him. He went to his bedroom and lied down on his bed to enjoy his first moments of peace of the day before what was going to be a very short night. He was a little tipsy and dizzy on happiness.
He stared at the ceiling and nostalgia began to hit him. His memories wandered to his graduation from high school- how his life had changed! He would never have thought his life would be this different, compared to what he had imagined.
Back then, he knew exactly what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go and with whom he wanted to spend his life. This confidence had unfortunately disappeared a long time ago. His four years at NYADA had been a blast, probably the happiest of his life, but it hadn’t been quite what he had expected. He had sung, danced, acted, and yet he wasn’t sure if he wanted to dedicate his life to his art anymore. He loved performing, but it just seemed almost pointless, and it was a difficult life to live. There was absolutely no job security, and even if he liked to think he was adventurous, Kurt just didn’t want to spend his life wondering if he was going to have enough money to eat for the next month. And with all the very talented people he had met, or the ones who had people that could pull strings for them, he didn’t think he was going to make it big anymore. In Lima, Ohio, he was unique but in New York City, he was just another person in a big, big crowd, and so was Rachel.
Four years ago, he was also certain that he was going to keep in touch with his friends from New Directions. But that was also a distant memory now. They had decided to meet twice a year in Lima but still, they grew apart. Some of them had gone to the West Coat for college, some had stayed in Ohio and some hadn’t even attended college. Their lives were too different now; they were never going to be as close as they used to be. Kurt was still very close with those who were living in or near New York, which basically meant Rachel (Well, off course! They had even been roommates for a while but Rachel Berry, even if she was probably his best friend, was difficult to live with, so they had decided it was best for the two of them to live just near each other), Quinn (she liked to come visit them once in a while) and Artie (who was studying engineering in New York). And of course Finn who had stayed in Ohio because he was his brother. He had also found a few friends at NYADA, but the atmosphere was so competitive that they were more classmates or people to party with rather than real friends.
In his eighteen-year-old mind, there was no doubt that he was going to spend his college years in New York with Blaine, who was the love of his life, his one and only. The reality had been much harsher. They had stayed together for two years after Kurt’s high school graduation. The first year had been difficult but they had managed it, somehow. They had Skype dates almost every night, with Blaine enthusiastic about everything Kurt told him about New York and about NYADA, and all the wonderful people he had met, setting his growing jealousy aside. They had visited each other, and their reunions were always intense and very tender. And then, on spring break, Blaine had dropped a bomb. They were both laying on Blaine’s bed, reading and just enjoying each other presence when Blaine began to speak:
“Kurt?”
“Yes?”
“Hun, I kind of have something important to say. But you have to promise to not get angry.”
Kurt suddenly imagined the worse and shivered. Had he cheated on him? Oh God, he didn’t want to be with him anymore, he had found someone else, someone better than him…
“Uh, I don’t know if I can promise but I can try.”
“Ok, uh, you know I’ve been researching colleges, and I think I’ve finally found one where I really want to go.”
“That’s great, honey, just tell me!” Kurt said, relieved.
“Uh, actually, that’s the difficult part. I want to go to the University of San Francisco.” Blaine said quickly, as if saying it faster would make the information less painful.
“What? You don’t want to come to New York and be with me?” Kurt asked, already on the verge of tears.
“No, it has nothing to do with that, I just... I finally found something I’m actually excited to do, somewhere I’m eager to go,” Blaine began to ramble. “I want to discover new things, a new life, and San Francisco must be so beautiful and so nice and lovely and Kurt, we managed for a year, maybe we can manage for more; I promise I love you and I want to be with you but I also don’t want to give up on my dreams and I’m sorry, no, don’t cry, if you cry I won’t go, I’ll stay with you, I promise…”
Kurt sniffled but managed to say, “Just give me some time. I’m going home, I’ll call you tonight. I need some time.”
Kurt was devastated at first, but he thought the whole afternoon through. Of course it was unexpected. When he went to New York for the first time and Blaine had said he would be on board, too, he had taken it for granted. But it was silly, of course, to think that Blaine didn’t have dreams of his own. After thinking for hours, he realized he had to be supportive. He did love Blaine, and of course it would be difficult, but he had no choice. After all, he had left to live his dreams; it was only fair that he let Blaine do just the same. Ambition was really important to him, and he had felt guilty enough when Blaine had left Dalton to come to McKinley with him, he wasn’t going to let that happen again. If he wanted to go to California, he would go.
That night, he called Blaine to apologize, and they both cried and finally fell asleep on the phone on promises of ‘We’ll call each other every night’s, and ‘We’ll make it work’s’ and ‘I love you’s.
Of course, life hadn’t been that easy. They both had a lot to do; Blaine was discovering a lot of things, just like Kurt had the year before. Their Skype dates began to go from one a day to one a week and they were growing apart, eventually. After eight months of managing, they decided to end it. They still loved each other deeply, but there was no passion, no excitement, no surprises anymore. They had become a boring couple that stayed together just for the sake of it, or out of habit maybe, and of course, at age 20, neither one of them wanted that for themselves.
They had stayed on good terms ever since, but sometimes they still felt awkward around each other. They had been each other’s first everything and they couldn’t erase their three years together. There was a French book about that, Kurt thought. “Love lasts three years”. The first year was passion, the second was tenderness and the third was bore. That theory had been proven accurate for them.
Since then, Kurt had had a couple of boyfriends but neither of them had lasted very long; he had regularly hookups and one-night-stands but he didn’t find love again. It wasn’t a problem most of the time because he felt great on his own, but sometimes, he really wanted to feel committed again. He had experienced passion and he kind of wanted that back now.
To sum it up, Kurt Hummel felt like he wasn’t really himself anymore; he was a little bit lost.
He was enthusiastic about only one thing right now: he was going to spend two months in Paris! He felt a little spark just thinking about it, the excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time, the kind that told him he was about to fulfill a childhood dream. He had been saving money for four years for this trip. He had planned it with Blaine at the time; after they had both graduated college they were going to spend a summer together in Paris, the most romantic city in the world. After the breakup, the dream had stayed. He would go alone, a year before than what he’d planned, but he’d be going none the less! He had saved enough money to afford a nice hotel, some incredible dinners and most importantly, several shopping sprees. He had also perfected his French by taking extra classes, listening to of French music and watching French movies.
His favorite movie at the moment was “Les chansons d’amour” (Love Songs). It took place in Paris- there was love, heartbreaks, songs, complicated relationships and good looking men. He couldn’t wait to see the places himself, to notice how stylish people were and to just enjoy the general atmosphere.
This night, Kurt Hummel fell asleep on his not even unmade bed, fully clothed, and listening to French music.
Si tu réalises que la vie n'est pas là
Que le matin tu te lèves
Sans savoir où tu vas
Résiste
Prouve que tu existes
Cherche ton bonheur partout, va,
Refuse ce monde égoïste
Résiste
Suis ton cœur qui insiste
Ce monde n'est pas le tien, viens,
Bats-toi, signe et persiste
Résiste
If you realize your life’s not there
That on the morning you wake up
Without knowing where to go
Resist
Prove that you exist
Look for happiness everywhere, go
Refuse this selfish world
Resist
Follow your heart that insists
Fight, stand by it,
Resist
Chapter 1 :Résiste
Kurt Hummel was exhausted. Just today, he had graduated from the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts. Time had passed since the first time he’d heard about the school. He had just left his family, who had come to New York to spend this important day of his life with him and Rachel, who had also just graduated with him. He went to his bedroom and lied down on his bed to enjoy his first moments of peace of the day before what was going to be a very short night. He was a little tipsy and dizzy on happiness.
He stared at the ceiling and nostalgia began to hit him. His memories wandered to his graduation from high school- how his life had changed! He would never have thought his life would be this different, compared to what he had imagined.
Back then, he knew exactly what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go and with whom he wanted to spend his life. This confidence had unfortunately disappeared a long time ago. His four years at NYADA had been a blast, probably the happiest of his life, but it hadn’t been quite what he had expected. He had sung, danced, acted, and yet he wasn’t sure if he wanted to dedicate his life to his art anymore. He loved performing, but it just seemed almost pointless, and it was a difficult life to live. There was absolutely no job security, and even if he liked to think he was adventurous, Kurt just didn’t want to spend his life wondering if he was going to have enough money to eat for the next month. And with all the very talented people he had met, or the ones who had people that could pull strings for them, he didn’t think he was going to make it big anymore. In Lima, Ohio, he was unique but in New York City, he was just another person in a big, big crowd, and so was Rachel.
Four years ago, he was also certain that he was going to keep in touch with his friends from New Directions. But that was also a distant memory now. They had decided to meet twice a year in Lima but still, they grew apart. Some of them had gone to the West Coat for college, some had stayed in Ohio and some hadn’t even attended college. Their lives were too different now; they were never going to be as close as they used to be. Kurt was still very close with those who were living in or near New York, which basically meant Rachel (Well, off course! They had even been roommates for a while but Rachel Berry, even if she was probably his best friend, was difficult to live with, so they had decided it was best for the two of them to live just near each other), Quinn (she liked to come visit them once in a while) and Artie (who was studying engineering in New York). And of course Finn who had stayed in Ohio because he was his brother. He had also found a few friends at NYADA, but the atmosphere was so competitive that they were more classmates or people to party with rather than real friends.
In his eighteen-year-old mind, there was no doubt that he was going to spend his college years in New York with Blaine, who was the love of his life, his one and only. The reality had been much harsher. They had stayed together for two years after Kurt’s high school graduation. The first year had been difficult but they had managed it, somehow. They had Skype dates almost every night, with Blaine enthusiastic about everything Kurt told him about New York and about NYADA, and all the wonderful people he had met, setting his growing jealousy aside. They had visited each other, and their reunions were always intense and very tender. And then, on spring break, Blaine had dropped a bomb. They were both laying on Blaine’s bed, reading and just enjoying each other presence when Blaine began to speak:
“Kurt?”
“Yes?”
“Hun, I kind of have something important to say. But you have to promise to not get angry.”
Kurt suddenly imagined the worse and shivered. Had he cheated on him? Oh God, he didn’t want to be with him anymore, he had found someone else, someone better than him…
“Uh, I don’t know if I can promise but I can try.”
“Ok, uh, you know I’ve been researching colleges, and I think I’ve finally found one where I really want to go.”
“That’s great, honey, just tell me!” Kurt said, relieved.
“Uh, actually, that’s the difficult part. I want to go to the University of San Francisco.” Blaine said quickly, as if saying it faster would make the information less painful.
“What? You don’t want to come to New York and be with me?” Kurt asked, already on the verge of tears.
“No, it has nothing to do with that, I just... I finally found something I’m actually excited to do, somewhere I’m eager to go,” Blaine began to ramble. “I want to discover new things, a new life, and San Francisco must be so beautiful and so nice and lovely and Kurt, we managed for a year, maybe we can manage for more; I promise I love you and I want to be with you but I also don’t want to give up on my dreams and I’m sorry, no, don’t cry, if you cry I won’t go, I’ll stay with you, I promise…”
Kurt sniffled but managed to say, “Just give me some time. I’m going home, I’ll call you tonight. I need some time.”
Kurt was devastated at first, but he thought the whole afternoon through. Of course it was unexpected. When he went to New York for the first time and Blaine had said he would be on board, too, he had taken it for granted. But it was silly, of course, to think that Blaine didn’t have dreams of his own. After thinking for hours, he realized he had to be supportive. He did love Blaine, and of course it would be difficult, but he had no choice. After all, he had left to live his dreams; it was only fair that he let Blaine do just the same. Ambition was really important to him, and he had felt guilty enough when Blaine had left Dalton to come to McKinley with him, he wasn’t going to let that happen again. If he wanted to go to California, he would go.
That night, he called Blaine to apologize, and they both cried and finally fell asleep on the phone on promises of ‘We’ll call each other every night’s, and ‘We’ll make it work’s’ and ‘I love you’s.
Of course, life hadn’t been that easy. They both had a lot to do; Blaine was discovering a lot of things, just like Kurt had the year before. Their Skype dates began to go from one a day to one a week and they were growing apart, eventually. After eight months of managing, they decided to end it. They still loved each other deeply, but there was no passion, no excitement, no surprises anymore. They had become a boring couple that stayed together just for the sake of it, or out of habit maybe, and of course, at age 20, neither one of them wanted that for themselves.
They had stayed on good terms ever since, but sometimes they still felt awkward around each other. They had been each other’s first everything and they couldn’t erase their three years together. There was a French book about that, Kurt thought. “Love lasts three years”. The first year was passion, the second was tenderness and the third was bore. That theory had been proven accurate for them.
Since then, Kurt had had a couple of boyfriends but neither of them had lasted very long; he had regularly hookups and one-night-stands but he didn’t find love again. It wasn’t a problem most of the time because he felt great on his own, but sometimes, he really wanted to feel committed again. He had experienced passion and he kind of wanted that back now.
To sum it up, Kurt Hummel felt like he wasn’t really himself anymore; he was a little bit lost.
He was enthusiastic about only one thing right now: he was going to spend two months in Paris! He felt a little spark just thinking about it, the excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time, the kind that told him he was about to fulfill a childhood dream. He had been saving money for four years for this trip. He had planned it with Blaine at the time; after they had both graduated college they were going to spend a summer together in Paris, the most romantic city in the world. After the breakup, the dream had stayed. He would go alone, a year before than what he’d planned, but he’d be going none the less! He had saved enough money to afford a nice hotel, some incredible dinners and most importantly, several shopping sprees. He had also perfected his French by taking extra classes, listening to of French music and watching French movies.
His favorite movie at the moment was “Les chansons d’amour” (Love Songs). It took place in Paris- there was love, heartbreaks, songs, complicated relationships and good looking men. He couldn’t wait to see the places himself, to notice how stylish people were and to just enjoy the general atmosphere.
This night, Kurt Hummel fell asleep on his not even unmade bed, fully clothed, and listening to French music.
Si tu réalises que la vie n'est pas là
Que le matin tu te lèves
Sans savoir où tu vas
Résiste
Prouve que tu existes
Cherche ton bonheur partout, va,
Refuse ce monde égoïste
Résiste
Suis ton cœur qui insiste
Ce monde n'est pas le tien, viens,
Bats-toi, signe et persiste
Résiste
If you realize your life’s not there
That on the morning you wake up
Without knowing where to go
Resist
Prove that you exist
Look for happiness everywhere, go
Refuse this selfish world
Resist
Follow your heart that insists
Fight, stand by it,
Resist