Go be a doctor while you still can
I'm at this ridiculous in-between time and I kind of hate it.
I'm excited. Of course I'm excited, I'm going to London, I've always wanted to go to London. I saw pictures online and I just...I'm excited. I keep crying, just bursting into tears. The NYU site said (and I naturally have it tabbed, so I can quote) "Outside the UK, Paris, Amsterdam, and Rome are only a short plane or ferry ride away." And I saw "Rome" and just started crying, because I want to go to Rome. I want to take a train to Venice. It's amazing, I'm so excited. I think about it and I can't wait.
But then people talk. About Relay for Life, little things like that, which was so much fun and I just have incredible memories of Relay and then after-Relay with Jim and Sam at the suite, and just everything. In Grassroots we're having all these conversations about the future of the club (really, though, when are we not? I swear to you, either every single club has the 'How do we get freshmen involved' and 'Where is this club going?' conversations all the time, or I somehow wound up in the two clubs that do that) and....it's less weird with them than it is with fencers because so many people are leaving. Still. With Grassroots the problem is that I feel like I should be working on something and I'm not, but I don't want to jump into something and then abandon it in 5 1/2 weeks (oh, dear lord. Sometimes I hyperventilate, too) (Yes, allow me a moment to freak out again). I actually have generalized that to my entire life. I don't want to get involved in something and then abandon it. Which is good, because my stopping-myself-from-doing-something has prevented me from what I did at the beginning of this semester, which was basically commit to many things and realize I don't have enough time to do everything. This way at least I can concentrate on school and stuff like that. But bad in that I do regret opportunities I have passed up because I don't want to abandon them. Still, I don't. It's not fair to anyone else.
I
I hate talking about myself. I can't do it anymore. Mostly because I hate that it then starts conversation. Screw that.
Seriously, though.
I don't know. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm terrified, I can't wait, I'm sad, I'm so sad, I'm so happy, I'm so so so happy. Sometimes I can't breathe, sometimes I can just cry and I don't know what emotion it is I just cry. That's OK. Still.
Oh, man. I should be reading about epilepsy and getting ready for lab now.
I'm excited. Of course I'm excited, I'm going to London, I've always wanted to go to London. I saw pictures online and I just...I'm excited. I keep crying, just bursting into tears. The NYU site said (and I naturally have it tabbed, so I can quote) "Outside the UK, Paris, Amsterdam, and Rome are only a short plane or ferry ride away." And I saw "Rome" and just started crying, because I want to go to Rome. I want to take a train to Venice. It's amazing, I'm so excited. I think about it and I can't wait.
But then people talk. About Relay for Life, little things like that, which was so much fun and I just have incredible memories of Relay and then after-Relay with Jim and Sam at the suite, and just everything. In Grassroots we're having all these conversations about the future of the club (really, though, when are we not? I swear to you, either every single club has the 'How do we get freshmen involved' and 'Where is this club going?' conversations all the time, or I somehow wound up in the two clubs that do that) and....it's less weird with them than it is with fencers because so many people are leaving. Still. With Grassroots the problem is that I feel like I should be working on something and I'm not, but I don't want to jump into something and then abandon it in 5 1/2 weeks (oh, dear lord. Sometimes I hyperventilate, too) (Yes, allow me a moment to freak out again). I actually have generalized that to my entire life. I don't want to get involved in something and then abandon it. Which is good, because my stopping-myself-from-doing-something has prevented me from what I did at the beginning of this semester, which was basically commit to many things and realize I don't have enough time to do everything. This way at least I can concentrate on school and stuff like that. But bad in that I do regret opportunities I have passed up because I don't want to abandon them. Still, I don't. It's not fair to anyone else.
I
I hate talking about myself. I can't do it anymore. Mostly because I hate that it then starts conversation. Screw that.
Seriously, though.
I don't know. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm terrified, I can't wait, I'm sad, I'm so sad, I'm so happy, I'm so so so happy. Sometimes I can't breathe, sometimes I can just cry and I don't know what emotion it is I just cry. That's OK. Still.
Oh, man. I should be reading about epilepsy and getting ready for lab now.