[Fanfiction] - Title: Those Three Little Words: They Don’t Come Easy [Part 3/4]
100 Themes Challenge
Title: Those Three Little Words: They Don’t Come Easy [Part 3/4]
Pairing: OnHo/TofuHo, brief and past JooNew (Joon/Jinki), brief and past JongYu and brief mentions of other pairings including some crossovers.
Rating: PG-15/R (warning for some explicit language and mature themes)
Prompt: 2. Love
Genre: AU, Romance, Drama, Angst-ish, Fluff,
Words: Total of 20,449 words. For this part; 3,742 words
Disclaimer: I do not own SHINee (oh the shame), unfortunately all I own is the fragments of my over imaginative mind.
Summary: After getting his heart crushed, Jinki swears he'll never let anyone in like that again. Crappy summary is crappy.
A/N: Third Part. There will be Four parts in total, this part is a lot shorter because it was just easier to cope with, what with the additional editing and stuff. OMG! I am totally embarrassed about the -almost smut- (there is another scene in the Fourth part which is just as fail, I tried. I really did XD) seriously, this is all I can offer... I am useless at that kind of writing, it's just fail. So sorry about that. (=^~^=). Also, sorry it took a while to post, LJ was being really difficult.
I hope this doesn't disappoint. -Looks worried-. The drama~ (^~^).
Please if you read this please comment and give me feedback. I really appreciate all comments. Again, there will be grammatical mistakes and spelling errors, and because I have read over this way too many times and my brain feels kind of frazzled now. Shutting up now. Okay Thanks! I hope you can get some enjoyment out of this. XD~.(^O^).
I'll try and get the Fourth part up as soon as possible, sorry if it takes a while, :3.
Part Two:
After about a minute of silence, Jonghyun coughed awkwardly.
“And?” He questioned not really seeing what Jinki was trying to get at.
“And he apologised, said he was sorry for everything.” Jinki sipped at his tea as he tried not to look at Jonghyun.
“Really… well I guess that’s a good thing. You can move on or something now, yeah?”
“Can I though?” Shifting on the couch Jinki rubbed at the inside of his palm still able to feel the indents his car keys formed earlier.
“Well sure. I mean… you don’t think you can?”
Sighing Jinki reached across to place his cup of tea next to the younger man’s warm beverage that also sat on the coffee table except he placed a coaster from the side under his, “I don’t know, Jonghyun.” He said.
“Wait, is this just about Joon or have you and Minho… had an argument or something?” Jonghyun asked finally starting to piece together what Jinki was trying to say or trying not to say.
Finally turning to face the hazelnut haired man he let out a long sigh, his hands going up to wipe at his sore eyes.
“Sort of…”
“Well that’s not vague…”
“Jonghyun…” Jinki warned.
“What? I am just saying.”
“He said he loved me.”
“What Joon?”
“NO, Minho.”
“Oh…”
Jinki ran one of his hands through his hair holding it there for a second before letting it drop to his side again. “Yeah…”
Jonghyun looked at him with confusion swimming in his brown eyes. “So why are you here then?”
“Why do you think?” Jinki bit his lip, “Because I ran away like an idiot, that’s why.” He confessed, actually admitting the words making him feel worse than carrying out the actions.
“Are you kidding me?” Jonghyun said his eyes going wide as he stared at Jinki in disbelief.
“No I actually am that much of a jerk.” Jonghyun grabbed Jinki’s arms, grip tight as he forced the older man to stare directly into his piercing eyes.
“Why, Jinki? Why did you do that?” He asked, not believing what the taller man was telling him.
Jinki looked away in shame, “I was scared…” Jonghyun jumped in “Of what?”
“I just… you know why Jonghyun. Look how me and you ended up.” Jinki could feel unshed tears starting to queue behind his eyes again.
“Not this again…” Jonghyun mumbled as he ran a hand over his face, letting go of one of Jinki’s arms in the meantime. “So in fact this does all boil down to the one and only Lee Joon then.”
Jinki remained silent, he just let Jonghyun talk.
“Jinki, seriously this is ridiculous. You can’t keep letting him rule your life for you.” Jonghyun sounded exasperated and upset at the same time.
“I know…” Jinki chocked.
“You have to move on, because this is hurting you and the people that care about you. How many more people can you successfully push away before your left all alone and that, Jinki, will be far worse than taking a risk that could end up going two ways.”
Jonghyun placed a hand on Jinki’s shoulder forcing him to face him fully, shifting so that he could do the same to the older male.
“Can you really afford to let Minho go?”
Looking up into Jonghyun’s eyes he felt a wave of melancholy wash over him, no, he didn’t want to lose Minho. He knew that deep down, but his distrusting heart would not allow him to take the plunge that he craved for.
“You just don’t see you how we see you. You have let your hurt take over and blind you from what is right in front of you. I know you’re frightened, I know you’re insecure, but the ones that can see you for your true self can see something so beautiful, so pure and it saddens me that you won’t open your eyes to your own beauty. You think everyone else is so perfect, so breath-taking but you are too Jinki.”
Jinki felt his heart throb inside his chest at Jonghyun’s words, he didn’t know what to do with himself, his eyes wide and glistening and he felt his breath catch in his throat. Jonghyun had never been so open, and the fact that the younger man was letting his guard down for him made his head spin. He had been such a fool and he had ended up unnecessarily hurting himself and those around him because he just wouldn’t let go of all the painful memories that crippled him and stopped him from progressing any further.
He felt sick to his stomach.
“Jonghyun… I-” He tried only to be cut off by the shorter man.
“I loved you too, you know… but I couldn’t handle it. Minho’s stronger than me and he loves you more than I ever could.” Jinki gasped at Jonghyun’s confession, the tears he had held back slipping past the barriers of his eye lids.
“Jonghyun... I-I- God, I am so sorry… I-” Being interrupted by the other man again Jinki stilled, frozen in place.
“Don’t apologise Jinki, just don’t. You don’t have to be sorry and I have Kibum now and I love him. I know he is what I want and I also know that Minho is what you want. So you have to make sure he knows that, because I want you to be happy Jinki, I want you to finally be happy.”
Pulling Jonghyun into his arms he sobbed against the younger man’s chest, he felt years of pain seep from every one of his pores, his heart crying out for salvation from its broken state and he can’t even control his body anymore as he shakes erratically on Jonghyun’s broad chest.
The younger man’s fingers reaching up and stroking his soft hair before pulling him up to face him once again, leaning forward to press his plush mouth against Jinki’s thicker lips. It tastes of their past with Jinki’s tea and Jonghyun’s hot chocolate mixed in. There’s nothing sexual about it just sadness and almost mournful as Jonghyun presses against him with force, it’s just a simple meeting of lips, not open mouthed exchanges of breath or wet tongues and it calms Jinki’s heart.
After a while Jonghyun pulls away raising his hand and stroking Jinki’s hair away from his smooth forehead, placing his lips against the soft flesh there he whispers breathily, “Be happy, Jinki.”
Then their drawing away from each other, the sound of the lock clicking signalling Kibum’s arrival and Jonghyun runs his hand along Jinki’s round cheek in a comforting manner a gentle smile gracing his lips before pushing his body off of the couch’s surface and going to greet Kibum at the entrance.
Jinki shifts letting his head fall into his hands as he sighs, his shoulders feel heavy and he feels like an even bigger arsehole now considering he just kissed his ex who is now dating his best friend, so in fact he just let his best friend’s boyfriend kiss him.
He didn’t think he could look Kibum in the face.
“Jinki?”
Oh great… he thought.
He looked up, Kibum appearing all hazy from his damp eyes.
“Are you crying, is it because Jonghyun kissed you?” Jinki stared in horror at Kibum.
He knew?
How?
Was he just joking? Was it just a terrible coincidence?
“Kibum, I-I… he didn’t mean… he loves you…” Jinki stuttered helplessly making Kibum chuckle.
“Jinki, I know he loves me but he also cares for you, just like I do too. I came home earlier than I thought. I pretty much heard everything from the moment you tried to apologise to him. I sneaked back out and pretended to come in just now.” Kibum looked amused and Jinki felt like crying again.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologising, seriously Jinki, Jonghyun’s right.” Kibum placed a hand on his waist before sitting down next to Jinki where Jonghyun had previously sat.
“I know…” Jinki sighed.
“Well then, you should also know what you have to do.” And then Kibum was wrapping his arms around Jinki, pulling him into his chest. “I love you Jinki, you’re my best friend. Please just go and find Minho,” Jinki held him tighter. “And then maybe I’ll forgive you for making out with my boyfriend.” He teased; Jinki froze spluttering out his apologies again as Kibum and Jonghyun laughed.
-~-
When Jinki got back to the apartment he shared with Minho it was already late into the evening and he feared what he would find, he couldn’t help but think that the younger man may have just left and that thought terrified him.
Opening the door he flinched as darkness confronted him. Darkness and silence.
With slow steps he approached the bedroom door seeing as it was open, he thought that might be the best place to try, especially because of the time, the sun having set hours ago. He walked into the room, his eyes quickly adjusting to the pitch black that enveloped the medium sized room. His stomach flipped over in anxiety, he wondered what he would do if Minho was not there, cursing himself for not ringing the taller man before returning home. So caught up in his thoughts he lost concentration and his foot hit something and then he was falling, his fall making a loud noise as he flailed his arms and gasped. He swore as he felt his thigh collide with something that felt like metal and he guessed it must have been the end of the bed. His hand flew to his injured thigh as he clenched his fingers around the muscle, the pain telling him that he would have a terrible bruise on the smooth skin.
Then he was suddenly being blinded with light as the room filled with a bright off-white ambience thanks to the bedroom lamp that was clearly a lot more powerful than Jinki had ever cared to notice.
“Jinki…?”
At the sound of his name being said in a voice that could only belong to one person his head shot up, blinking a few times the dots slowly started to dissipate and he was confronted with the image of a very sleep tousled and panicked Minho, the younger man leaning over from his side of the bed as he stared at Jinki with those large eyes that made him feel so small.
“What are you doing?” Minho asked as he started to get up.
“No, don’t get up!” Jinki said as he picked himself up off the floor with great effort, a hiss leaving his lips at the pain that shot up his leg. “I’m sorry I woke you.” He said with down cast eyes. He approached Minho on the bed crawling onto the sheets, all the while trying to ignore the throbbing in his thigh, as he sat crossed legged beside the taller male.
He knew what he had to do, Jonghyun and Kibum had told him their views and he knew they were right. He felt guilty that he had let Jonghyun kiss him. Despite the fact that it wasn’t a kiss to be overly guilt about, because he hadn’t felt anything other than friendly affection from it, it wasn’t as intense and colourful as Minho’s kisses were and he also knew that Jonghyun wasn’t in love with him either. But it was the feeling of betrayal that was eating him up and he knew why. He felt like he had cheated on Minho, even though he hadn’t, he knew that he never wanted to feel that way again, never wanted anyone else’s lips on his. He only wanted Minho. He only wanted Minho’s touch and he knew then, the realisation hitting him hard in the face, that he had wasted so much precious time. Time that he could have been free from his own withholding worries. Worries that held him back from what was right there in front of him, just patiently waiting for him to give a signal or any kind of sign that it was okay for him to come near. Jinki wondered if that had been Jonghyun’s intentions all along. Jinki was the one that had held him back, not Joon. Joon was Jinki’s excuse for never daring to open his heart that little bit more. It was like when he was a kid and he had got bitten by his Uncle’s dog. After that incident he vowed never to go near a dog again. The mind has a way of doing that. But what he was faced with now was his own fears and anxiety and he knew how he could overcome them now.
“Are you okay?” Minho questioned, caring as ever. Jinki feeling even worse at that fact, “I’m fine…” he answered as he finally built the courage to look at Minho.
“Minho…”
“It’s okay you don’t have to say anything.”
Shaking his head Jinki pushed on, “No. I do and that is sorry. I… I have been selfish and-”
Minho cut his sentence short by taking Jinki’s hand in his larger and much warmer one. “That’s not true. I have been selfish too. I pushed you even though I told you I would wait and I understand how much what happened with Joon has affected you and I was a jerk for trying to force you to get over that. It wasn’t fair and I am sorry too.”
Jinki felt more tears form in his eyes and he belittled himself for crying again, something he seemed to be doing a lot of lately.
“Are you crying?” Minho’s deep voice questioned, frowning as he saw a clear droplet slide down Jinki’s cheek before disappearing under the older man’s chin.
“Don’t cry…” he breathed his other hand reaching up so he could use his thumb to swipe away the other’s tears.
“J-Joon… he’s not the one I want.” Jinki confessed as his tears continued to spill and his bottom lip trembled.
Minho sucked in a breath, his heartbeat quickening as he listened intently.
“It’s you-” Minho didn’t need to hear anymore, interrupting the other’s sentence by occupying his mouth with his own. He kept the hand on Jinki’s cheek there feeling the other man’s sorrow seep into his own skin and wishing he could really absorb the salty tears and take away some of the pain Jinki felt inside.
One swipe of his tongue was all it took before Jinki was granting him entrance into his warm mouth and he shivered at the way the older man completely submitted to him. He tasted all that Jinki’s mouth had to give, the faint taste of tea and mint on the other’s tongue, but also something distinctly Jinki and that was what made Minho’s gut fill with tingling warmth.
He pulled away just as Jinki grabbed hold of his back, thick fingers grasping onto the thin material that concealed the majority of his tanned flesh.
“I love you…” He said before re-claiming Jinki’s plump mouth, feeling the other’s body trembling he moved so that he was on top of the smaller male. Jinki’s fingers finding residence in the material of his vest again.
He didn’t need to hear Jinki say those three words back because just knowing that the older man wanted him made his heart flood with love and he knew that Jinki was probably going to turn him into a complete mess because he drove him crazy enough already but he also knew the other man was worth it.
“Minho… I want…” Jinki stopped and looked away embarrassment evident on his face.
Using his arms to keep himself upright Minho stared down at Jinki, “What do you want, Jinki? Tell me.”
He watched as the older man avoided eye contact with him. “Look at me…” He said and Jinki’s eyes slowly travelled to his own dark orbs. “I want… to… feel you.” The older man whispered shyly causing a fire to spread through the younger man’s senses.
It wasn’t like they hadn’t gone that far before, but this was different. It felt so much more intense, like Jinki was offering himself up to Minho, trusting him in ways that he hadn't before and it made Minho’s mouth go dry. “Are you sure?” He asked even though he thought he would die if Jinki changed his mind.
“Yes.” Minho didn’t need much more assurance than that and he got to work on undressing the older man, Jinki’s cheeks flushing a bright red at how slowly the younger man was removing him of his clothes, his thigh sore from the graze of his jeans.
“Can we t-turn the l-light down please?” Jinki pleaded and Minho would have refused were it not for the look in Jinki’s eyes that told him he was scared and absolutely mortified. Minho dimmed the light just enough to create shadows and make the eye work to see through the fogginess of black but leaving some patches of light so they could both still make out each other’s forms and what they were doing.
“Better?” He breathed onto Jinki’s neck.
“Hmmm-hmmm.” Was Jinki’s reply as he tried to calm his thumping heart, hands grasping onto Minho’s back as he slipped out of his pants aided by Minho’s hands pulling them down and throwing them behind him somewhere. He felt uncomfortable and self-conscious now that he was only in his underwear and Minho was still fully clothed, so he pulled at Minho’s vest slightly letting the other know that he wanted it off. Catching onto the hint the younger man leant back on his knees, towering above Jinki’s laid out form as he pulled the vest off over his head. Jinki pulled himself up and stared at Minho’s torso in admiration. The younger man had a beautiful body.
Raising his hand up he touched Minho’s chest, letting his hands slide down past the solid abs until his fingers brushed against the line of hair that slid down into his clothes. Minho watched his eyes larger than usual, ebony pupils dilating at the sight. Jinki’s fingers curled at the waistband of his sweatpants and he let his fingers slip down just so before curling them so that he could slowly pull the grey material down past Minho’s strong legs, letting go as Minho shuffled around so he could let the garments fall to the floor with Jinki’s clothes.
When he was done he moved but was stopped by Jinki. “Don’t move, stay like that.” Nodding in reply he kneeled in front of Jinki again, the older man sitting back on his own knees so he could be aligned with Minho’s waist. Fingers reaching out again he traced the prominent ‘V’ shape of the other man’s hips which emitted a shiver from Minho as he bit his bottom lip.
He watched Jinki with glazed eyes, the older man taking him to heights he thought he could never reach with his small hands and plump mouth. He knew how to break Minho, even though he didn’t know how he was doing so himself. Groaning Minho reached down to stroke the older man’s face, causing Jinki to open his eyes at the contact and Minho gasped, the sight making him shiver at how perfect the older man looked like that, as perverse as that thought was.
“Is it okay?” Jinki asked once he leant back, looking up into Minho’s eyes with insecurity and a hint of curiosity. The younger male smiling gently at him, large hand still against his round cheek, “It’s perfect.” Minho said watching as Jinki’s face flushed. He leant down hands on Jinki’s chest to push him back on his back lightly. Leaning down to kiss the older man’s lips he felt his senses come alive again when he could taste himself in Jinki’s wet mouth.
Sliding a large hand down Jinki’s torso he let his fingers run over the soft abs on the older man’s stomach before going further to hook under his legs, spreading them so he could slip in-between his honey thighs. Pushing back so he could sit between the other man’s legs he let his hands stroke across the smooth skin there, running long fingers over slightly bended knees, the older man’s chest lifting jumpily at his actions.
A hiss left Jinki’s mouth as Minho’s fingers brushed the sensitive patch on his right thigh that he had hit against the bed frame when he entered the room.
“Ow…” He said breathily, almost liking the tingling of pain.
His honey brown eyes watching Minho as he stared at the inside of his injured thigh, he felt the slight swell of skin that came with a forming bruise.
“It’s bruising.” Minho’s deep voice announced his eyes still on the older man’s marked skin. He could see the familiar dusting of purple and blue across a patch of Jinki’s otherwise flawless skin on his thigh. Leaning down he placed his lips over the area.
“M-Minho…?” Jinki called before he shivered at the sensation of Minho’s mouth alternating between placing gentle almost-non-existent butterfly kisses and ghosting his heated breath over the already hot swell of bruised flesh.
Minho grinned as he felt the strong muscles of Jinki’s thigh clench and twitch at his ministrations. Sitting upright again he slowly began to remove the only piece of clothing that remained on Jinki’s lightly tanned body, causing the other to try and cover himself, Minho easily preventing him from doing so as he lifted Jinki up slightly so that he was against his own broad chest, shorter legs at either side of Minho.
“We’ll take it slow,” he whispered against Jinki’s thick lips. “I want it to last all night…” and he pressed his own full lips onto the older man’s feeling him come undone, the other male’s arms going under Minho’s arms to wrap around his back as one of Minho’s gripped gently onto his hips as the other slowly prepared Jinki.
Shifting so he could make them both fall back against the plush and cool sheets he finally felt Jinki open up to him in so many ways, both of them connecting in perfect synchronicity. Minho’s slow but deep movements emitting beautiful sounds from Jinki’s full and red tainted lips that blended perfectly with Minho’s husky and low voice, the older man’s gasp of “I love you…” pushing them both over the edge again and again.
Part Four:
Title: Those Three Little Words: They Don’t Come Easy [Part 3/4]
Pairing: OnHo/TofuHo, brief and past JooNew (Joon/Jinki), brief and past JongYu and brief mentions of other pairings including some crossovers.
Rating: PG-15/R (warning for some explicit language and mature themes)
Prompt: 2. Love
Genre: AU, Romance, Drama, Angst-ish, Fluff,
Words: Total of 20,449 words. For this part; 3,742 words
Disclaimer: I do not own SHINee (oh the shame), unfortunately all I own is the fragments of my over imaginative mind.
Summary: After getting his heart crushed, Jinki swears he'll never let anyone in like that again. Crappy summary is crappy.
A/N: Third Part. There will be Four parts in total, this part is a lot shorter because it was just easier to cope with, what with the additional editing and stuff. OMG! I am totally embarrassed about the -almost smut- (there is another scene in the Fourth part which is just as fail, I tried. I really did XD) seriously, this is all I can offer... I am useless at that kind of writing, it's just fail. So sorry about that. (=^~^=). Also, sorry it took a while to post, LJ was being really difficult.
I hope this doesn't disappoint. -Looks worried-. The drama~ (^~^).
Please if you read this please comment and give me feedback. I really appreciate all comments. Again, there will be grammatical mistakes and spelling errors, and because I have read over this way too many times and my brain feels kind of frazzled now. Shutting up now. Okay Thanks! I hope you can get some enjoyment out of this. XD~.(^O^).
I'll try and get the Fourth part up as soon as possible, sorry if it takes a while, :3.
Part Two:
After about a minute of silence, Jonghyun coughed awkwardly.
“And?” He questioned not really seeing what Jinki was trying to get at.
“And he apologised, said he was sorry for everything.” Jinki sipped at his tea as he tried not to look at Jonghyun.
“Really… well I guess that’s a good thing. You can move on or something now, yeah?”
“Can I though?” Shifting on the couch Jinki rubbed at the inside of his palm still able to feel the indents his car keys formed earlier.
“Well sure. I mean… you don’t think you can?”
Sighing Jinki reached across to place his cup of tea next to the younger man’s warm beverage that also sat on the coffee table except he placed a coaster from the side under his, “I don’t know, Jonghyun.” He said.
“Wait, is this just about Joon or have you and Minho… had an argument or something?” Jonghyun asked finally starting to piece together what Jinki was trying to say or trying not to say.
Finally turning to face the hazelnut haired man he let out a long sigh, his hands going up to wipe at his sore eyes.
“Sort of…”
“Well that’s not vague…”
“Jonghyun…” Jinki warned.
“What? I am just saying.”
“He said he loved me.”
“What Joon?”
“NO, Minho.”
“Oh…”
Jinki ran one of his hands through his hair holding it there for a second before letting it drop to his side again. “Yeah…”
Jonghyun looked at him with confusion swimming in his brown eyes. “So why are you here then?”
“Why do you think?” Jinki bit his lip, “Because I ran away like an idiot, that’s why.” He confessed, actually admitting the words making him feel worse than carrying out the actions.
“Are you kidding me?” Jonghyun said his eyes going wide as he stared at Jinki in disbelief.
“No I actually am that much of a jerk.” Jonghyun grabbed Jinki’s arms, grip tight as he forced the older man to stare directly into his piercing eyes.
“Why, Jinki? Why did you do that?” He asked, not believing what the taller man was telling him.
Jinki looked away in shame, “I was scared…” Jonghyun jumped in “Of what?”
“I just… you know why Jonghyun. Look how me and you ended up.” Jinki could feel unshed tears starting to queue behind his eyes again.
“Not this again…” Jonghyun mumbled as he ran a hand over his face, letting go of one of Jinki’s arms in the meantime. “So in fact this does all boil down to the one and only Lee Joon then.”
Jinki remained silent, he just let Jonghyun talk.
“Jinki, seriously this is ridiculous. You can’t keep letting him rule your life for you.” Jonghyun sounded exasperated and upset at the same time.
“I know…” Jinki chocked.
“You have to move on, because this is hurting you and the people that care about you. How many more people can you successfully push away before your left all alone and that, Jinki, will be far worse than taking a risk that could end up going two ways.”
Jonghyun placed a hand on Jinki’s shoulder forcing him to face him fully, shifting so that he could do the same to the older male.
“Can you really afford to let Minho go?”
Looking up into Jonghyun’s eyes he felt a wave of melancholy wash over him, no, he didn’t want to lose Minho. He knew that deep down, but his distrusting heart would not allow him to take the plunge that he craved for.
“You just don’t see you how we see you. You have let your hurt take over and blind you from what is right in front of you. I know you’re frightened, I know you’re insecure, but the ones that can see you for your true self can see something so beautiful, so pure and it saddens me that you won’t open your eyes to your own beauty. You think everyone else is so perfect, so breath-taking but you are too Jinki.”
Jinki felt his heart throb inside his chest at Jonghyun’s words, he didn’t know what to do with himself, his eyes wide and glistening and he felt his breath catch in his throat. Jonghyun had never been so open, and the fact that the younger man was letting his guard down for him made his head spin. He had been such a fool and he had ended up unnecessarily hurting himself and those around him because he just wouldn’t let go of all the painful memories that crippled him and stopped him from progressing any further.
He felt sick to his stomach.
“Jonghyun… I-” He tried only to be cut off by the shorter man.
“I loved you too, you know… but I couldn’t handle it. Minho’s stronger than me and he loves you more than I ever could.” Jinki gasped at Jonghyun’s confession, the tears he had held back slipping past the barriers of his eye lids.
“Jonghyun... I-I- God, I am so sorry… I-” Being interrupted by the other man again Jinki stilled, frozen in place.
“Don’t apologise Jinki, just don’t. You don’t have to be sorry and I have Kibum now and I love him. I know he is what I want and I also know that Minho is what you want. So you have to make sure he knows that, because I want you to be happy Jinki, I want you to finally be happy.”
Pulling Jonghyun into his arms he sobbed against the younger man’s chest, he felt years of pain seep from every one of his pores, his heart crying out for salvation from its broken state and he can’t even control his body anymore as he shakes erratically on Jonghyun’s broad chest.
The younger man’s fingers reaching up and stroking his soft hair before pulling him up to face him once again, leaning forward to press his plush mouth against Jinki’s thicker lips. It tastes of their past with Jinki’s tea and Jonghyun’s hot chocolate mixed in. There’s nothing sexual about it just sadness and almost mournful as Jonghyun presses against him with force, it’s just a simple meeting of lips, not open mouthed exchanges of breath or wet tongues and it calms Jinki’s heart.
After a while Jonghyun pulls away raising his hand and stroking Jinki’s hair away from his smooth forehead, placing his lips against the soft flesh there he whispers breathily, “Be happy, Jinki.”
Then their drawing away from each other, the sound of the lock clicking signalling Kibum’s arrival and Jonghyun runs his hand along Jinki’s round cheek in a comforting manner a gentle smile gracing his lips before pushing his body off of the couch’s surface and going to greet Kibum at the entrance.
Jinki shifts letting his head fall into his hands as he sighs, his shoulders feel heavy and he feels like an even bigger arsehole now considering he just kissed his ex who is now dating his best friend, so in fact he just let his best friend’s boyfriend kiss him.
He didn’t think he could look Kibum in the face.
“Jinki?”
Oh great… he thought.
He looked up, Kibum appearing all hazy from his damp eyes.
“Are you crying, is it because Jonghyun kissed you?” Jinki stared in horror at Kibum.
He knew?
How?
Was he just joking? Was it just a terrible coincidence?
“Kibum, I-I… he didn’t mean… he loves you…” Jinki stuttered helplessly making Kibum chuckle.
“Jinki, I know he loves me but he also cares for you, just like I do too. I came home earlier than I thought. I pretty much heard everything from the moment you tried to apologise to him. I sneaked back out and pretended to come in just now.” Kibum looked amused and Jinki felt like crying again.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologising, seriously Jinki, Jonghyun’s right.” Kibum placed a hand on his waist before sitting down next to Jinki where Jonghyun had previously sat.
“I know…” Jinki sighed.
“Well then, you should also know what you have to do.” And then Kibum was wrapping his arms around Jinki, pulling him into his chest. “I love you Jinki, you’re my best friend. Please just go and find Minho,” Jinki held him tighter. “And then maybe I’ll forgive you for making out with my boyfriend.” He teased; Jinki froze spluttering out his apologies again as Kibum and Jonghyun laughed.
-~-
When Jinki got back to the apartment he shared with Minho it was already late into the evening and he feared what he would find, he couldn’t help but think that the younger man may have just left and that thought terrified him.
Opening the door he flinched as darkness confronted him. Darkness and silence.
With slow steps he approached the bedroom door seeing as it was open, he thought that might be the best place to try, especially because of the time, the sun having set hours ago. He walked into the room, his eyes quickly adjusting to the pitch black that enveloped the medium sized room. His stomach flipped over in anxiety, he wondered what he would do if Minho was not there, cursing himself for not ringing the taller man before returning home. So caught up in his thoughts he lost concentration and his foot hit something and then he was falling, his fall making a loud noise as he flailed his arms and gasped. He swore as he felt his thigh collide with something that felt like metal and he guessed it must have been the end of the bed. His hand flew to his injured thigh as he clenched his fingers around the muscle, the pain telling him that he would have a terrible bruise on the smooth skin.
Then he was suddenly being blinded with light as the room filled with a bright off-white ambience thanks to the bedroom lamp that was clearly a lot more powerful than Jinki had ever cared to notice.
“Jinki…?”
At the sound of his name being said in a voice that could only belong to one person his head shot up, blinking a few times the dots slowly started to dissipate and he was confronted with the image of a very sleep tousled and panicked Minho, the younger man leaning over from his side of the bed as he stared at Jinki with those large eyes that made him feel so small.
“What are you doing?” Minho asked as he started to get up.
“No, don’t get up!” Jinki said as he picked himself up off the floor with great effort, a hiss leaving his lips at the pain that shot up his leg. “I’m sorry I woke you.” He said with down cast eyes. He approached Minho on the bed crawling onto the sheets, all the while trying to ignore the throbbing in his thigh, as he sat crossed legged beside the taller male.
He knew what he had to do, Jonghyun and Kibum had told him their views and he knew they were right. He felt guilty that he had let Jonghyun kiss him. Despite the fact that it wasn’t a kiss to be overly guilt about, because he hadn’t felt anything other than friendly affection from it, it wasn’t as intense and colourful as Minho’s kisses were and he also knew that Jonghyun wasn’t in love with him either. But it was the feeling of betrayal that was eating him up and he knew why. He felt like he had cheated on Minho, even though he hadn’t, he knew that he never wanted to feel that way again, never wanted anyone else’s lips on his. He only wanted Minho. He only wanted Minho’s touch and he knew then, the realisation hitting him hard in the face, that he had wasted so much precious time. Time that he could have been free from his own withholding worries. Worries that held him back from what was right there in front of him, just patiently waiting for him to give a signal or any kind of sign that it was okay for him to come near. Jinki wondered if that had been Jonghyun’s intentions all along. Jinki was the one that had held him back, not Joon. Joon was Jinki’s excuse for never daring to open his heart that little bit more. It was like when he was a kid and he had got bitten by his Uncle’s dog. After that incident he vowed never to go near a dog again. The mind has a way of doing that. But what he was faced with now was his own fears and anxiety and he knew how he could overcome them now.
“Are you okay?” Minho questioned, caring as ever. Jinki feeling even worse at that fact, “I’m fine…” he answered as he finally built the courage to look at Minho.
“Minho…”
“It’s okay you don’t have to say anything.”
Shaking his head Jinki pushed on, “No. I do and that is sorry. I… I have been selfish and-”
Minho cut his sentence short by taking Jinki’s hand in his larger and much warmer one. “That’s not true. I have been selfish too. I pushed you even though I told you I would wait and I understand how much what happened with Joon has affected you and I was a jerk for trying to force you to get over that. It wasn’t fair and I am sorry too.”
Jinki felt more tears form in his eyes and he belittled himself for crying again, something he seemed to be doing a lot of lately.
“Are you crying?” Minho’s deep voice questioned, frowning as he saw a clear droplet slide down Jinki’s cheek before disappearing under the older man’s chin.
“Don’t cry…” he breathed his other hand reaching up so he could use his thumb to swipe away the other’s tears.
“J-Joon… he’s not the one I want.” Jinki confessed as his tears continued to spill and his bottom lip trembled.
Minho sucked in a breath, his heartbeat quickening as he listened intently.
“It’s you-” Minho didn’t need to hear anymore, interrupting the other’s sentence by occupying his mouth with his own. He kept the hand on Jinki’s cheek there feeling the other man’s sorrow seep into his own skin and wishing he could really absorb the salty tears and take away some of the pain Jinki felt inside.
One swipe of his tongue was all it took before Jinki was granting him entrance into his warm mouth and he shivered at the way the older man completely submitted to him. He tasted all that Jinki’s mouth had to give, the faint taste of tea and mint on the other’s tongue, but also something distinctly Jinki and that was what made Minho’s gut fill with tingling warmth.
He pulled away just as Jinki grabbed hold of his back, thick fingers grasping onto the thin material that concealed the majority of his tanned flesh.
“I love you…” He said before re-claiming Jinki’s plump mouth, feeling the other’s body trembling he moved so that he was on top of the smaller male. Jinki’s fingers finding residence in the material of his vest again.
He didn’t need to hear Jinki say those three words back because just knowing that the older man wanted him made his heart flood with love and he knew that Jinki was probably going to turn him into a complete mess because he drove him crazy enough already but he also knew the other man was worth it.
“Minho… I want…” Jinki stopped and looked away embarrassment evident on his face.
Using his arms to keep himself upright Minho stared down at Jinki, “What do you want, Jinki? Tell me.”
He watched as the older man avoided eye contact with him. “Look at me…” He said and Jinki’s eyes slowly travelled to his own dark orbs. “I want… to… feel you.” The older man whispered shyly causing a fire to spread through the younger man’s senses.
It wasn’t like they hadn’t gone that far before, but this was different. It felt so much more intense, like Jinki was offering himself up to Minho, trusting him in ways that he hadn't before and it made Minho’s mouth go dry. “Are you sure?” He asked even though he thought he would die if Jinki changed his mind.
“Yes.” Minho didn’t need much more assurance than that and he got to work on undressing the older man, Jinki’s cheeks flushing a bright red at how slowly the younger man was removing him of his clothes, his thigh sore from the graze of his jeans.
“Can we t-turn the l-light down please?” Jinki pleaded and Minho would have refused were it not for the look in Jinki’s eyes that told him he was scared and absolutely mortified. Minho dimmed the light just enough to create shadows and make the eye work to see through the fogginess of black but leaving some patches of light so they could both still make out each other’s forms and what they were doing.
“Better?” He breathed onto Jinki’s neck.
“Hmmm-hmmm.” Was Jinki’s reply as he tried to calm his thumping heart, hands grasping onto Minho’s back as he slipped out of his pants aided by Minho’s hands pulling them down and throwing them behind him somewhere. He felt uncomfortable and self-conscious now that he was only in his underwear and Minho was still fully clothed, so he pulled at Minho’s vest slightly letting the other know that he wanted it off. Catching onto the hint the younger man leant back on his knees, towering above Jinki’s laid out form as he pulled the vest off over his head. Jinki pulled himself up and stared at Minho’s torso in admiration. The younger man had a beautiful body.
Raising his hand up he touched Minho’s chest, letting his hands slide down past the solid abs until his fingers brushed against the line of hair that slid down into his clothes. Minho watched his eyes larger than usual, ebony pupils dilating at the sight. Jinki’s fingers curled at the waistband of his sweatpants and he let his fingers slip down just so before curling them so that he could slowly pull the grey material down past Minho’s strong legs, letting go as Minho shuffled around so he could let the garments fall to the floor with Jinki’s clothes.
When he was done he moved but was stopped by Jinki. “Don’t move, stay like that.” Nodding in reply he kneeled in front of Jinki again, the older man sitting back on his own knees so he could be aligned with Minho’s waist. Fingers reaching out again he traced the prominent ‘V’ shape of the other man’s hips which emitted a shiver from Minho as he bit his bottom lip.
He watched Jinki with glazed eyes, the older man taking him to heights he thought he could never reach with his small hands and plump mouth. He knew how to break Minho, even though he didn’t know how he was doing so himself. Groaning Minho reached down to stroke the older man’s face, causing Jinki to open his eyes at the contact and Minho gasped, the sight making him shiver at how perfect the older man looked like that, as perverse as that thought was.
“Is it okay?” Jinki asked once he leant back, looking up into Minho’s eyes with insecurity and a hint of curiosity. The younger male smiling gently at him, large hand still against his round cheek, “It’s perfect.” Minho said watching as Jinki’s face flushed. He leant down hands on Jinki’s chest to push him back on his back lightly. Leaning down to kiss the older man’s lips he felt his senses come alive again when he could taste himself in Jinki’s wet mouth.
Sliding a large hand down Jinki’s torso he let his fingers run over the soft abs on the older man’s stomach before going further to hook under his legs, spreading them so he could slip in-between his honey thighs. Pushing back so he could sit between the other man’s legs he let his hands stroke across the smooth skin there, running long fingers over slightly bended knees, the older man’s chest lifting jumpily at his actions.
A hiss left Jinki’s mouth as Minho’s fingers brushed the sensitive patch on his right thigh that he had hit against the bed frame when he entered the room.
“Ow…” He said breathily, almost liking the tingling of pain.
His honey brown eyes watching Minho as he stared at the inside of his injured thigh, he felt the slight swell of skin that came with a forming bruise.
“It’s bruising.” Minho’s deep voice announced his eyes still on the older man’s marked skin. He could see the familiar dusting of purple and blue across a patch of Jinki’s otherwise flawless skin on his thigh. Leaning down he placed his lips over the area.
“M-Minho…?” Jinki called before he shivered at the sensation of Minho’s mouth alternating between placing gentle almost-non-existent butterfly kisses and ghosting his heated breath over the already hot swell of bruised flesh.
Minho grinned as he felt the strong muscles of Jinki’s thigh clench and twitch at his ministrations. Sitting upright again he slowly began to remove the only piece of clothing that remained on Jinki’s lightly tanned body, causing the other to try and cover himself, Minho easily preventing him from doing so as he lifted Jinki up slightly so that he was against his own broad chest, shorter legs at either side of Minho.
“We’ll take it slow,” he whispered against Jinki’s thick lips. “I want it to last all night…” and he pressed his own full lips onto the older man’s feeling him come undone, the other male’s arms going under Minho’s arms to wrap around his back as one of Minho’s gripped gently onto his hips as the other slowly prepared Jinki.
Shifting so he could make them both fall back against the plush and cool sheets he finally felt Jinki open up to him in so many ways, both of them connecting in perfect synchronicity. Minho’s slow but deep movements emitting beautiful sounds from Jinki’s full and red tainted lips that blended perfectly with Minho’s husky and low voice, the older man’s gasp of “I love you…” pushing them both over the edge again and again.
Part Four: