Something to terrify the parents..

[vilenspotens]

I have a bugbear at the moment. Something that winds me up an incredible amount. It makes me very glad that this is the current thing in my life that winds me up the most* as it means that the rest of my life is going incredibly well.

Comments

[madwitch]

I realise that my personal experience with this is nil, but I do tend to agree with you on this. I've seen strict breastfeeding advocates lay into an expectant mother who had made the decision to formula feed, after discussions with her husband and her oncologist. She needed to start treatment for cancer as soon as possible after birth, or run the risk of her child not having a mother, and I can't see how that's a terrible choice. But she was ripped into, called a bad mother, told she was an awful person and accused of lying about the cancer treatment so as to have an excuse to not try and breastfeed. I've seen the same people lay into women who change the way they feed their children on the advice of doctors, because apparently you shouldn't take such advice, you should check Google and see what the internet and the breastfeeding sites say. Formula is poison, and doctors are paid to push it. Believe the internet!

It's insane. What you do is your choice, and whilst people are perfectly entitled to their opinions, they aren't entitled to tell you that your choices are bad wrong and harmful when they aren't.

Yup.

[vilenspotens]

And we had a Health Visitor insist that we needed a breast feeding counselor when we decided to change to formula (bear in mind it was a 6 month waiting list for a depression counselor) and accused me of dominating and abusing Izzy, refusing to give her support because I was not awake through the night feeds and I had forced her to bottle feed. Nothing to do with working 12 hour shifts, of course...

Re: Yup.

[madwitch]

No, of course not. Neither of you need sleep, what are you on about?

Of course, the experience of others can be helpful sometimes, but in the end it's about you and your child, yes? Some people are just batshit.

Re: Yup.

[vilenspotens]

I think it's a good thing that parents can turn to people for advice, but I think having health professionals deliberately advocating one method of feeding while denigrating another is not only unprofessional, but definitely harmful.
And yes, I think the breast-feed only people are definitely batshit.

Re: Yup.

[madwitch]

People need to be given good information about all the options. Only then can you make a sensible, well informed choice that is the best for you. I am glad I'm making sense, I just have this horror of the "only my way works!" people. :-)

Re: Yup.

[vilenspotens]

It's a lot more terrifying when it's the medical professionals that are giving that POV.

Don't get me wrong, if you ask them about alternatives to breastfeeding,they will give them to you, but it is an absolute nightmare to get them to give the information, and they certainly won't do it voluntarily. That scared me.

Re: Yup.

[kostika]

And those are the kind of doctors that I don't think should be practicing at all. All too often doctors get a certain view point stuck in their heads and they refuse to bend. Unfortunately this doesn't jsut apply to child handling, but to other things too. Like depression medication.

Re: Yup.

[vilenspotens]

It's worse than that hon, it wasn't he doctor, we hardly saw him. It was the Health Visitor that was supposed to visit regularly and give us advice on our first, 8 week premature child.

I can't really comment on your depression POV, my experience with that had an excellent doctor. He said, and I quote, "The best advice I can give you is to go private, the NHS can't help you." It was fantastic advice.

Re: Yup.

[madwitch]

That is absolutely terrifying. That should never happen.

Re: Yup.

[kittensandsteam]

I'm amazed that they make such a drama of it in the UK.
I remember that when my friend Angie was pregnant, her and Bart (her partner) got oodles of information about both breastfeeding AND formula.
I remember leafing through it out curiousity and it was really good info as well, explaining everything that had to do with formula feeding (like what to watch out for when getting one of those bottle sterilisator things etc).

Re: Yup.

[kostika]

Speaking of helpful experience from others. As a society we've been groomed to not give advice on child rearing. Some people really go bat shit if you off un-solicited advice and many people won't ask for advice. Sometimes cause they don't know better.

Re: Yup.

[madwitch]

This is also a little bonkers, I think. Advice, freely offered and without pressure, is surely okay to give? If it's wrong for you and your family, or just completely mad, then you can always just not take it. And asking should never be wrong.

God, if I ever had a child I'd be asking for it from all sane parents, because I would have no clue.

Re: Yup.

[kostika]

Yep and when I finally reproduce again I'll be damn sure to seek advice from my friends whom I trust.

Some people just don't see the logic.

Re: Yup.

[vilenspotens]

Yeah, but then so many love giving their unsolicited, unwanted, and above all, completely f****** nuts advice whether you want them to or not.

Re: Yup.

[kostika]

True, but you can always take it or leave it. It all comes down to advice coming from people you trust.

*grins*

[vilenspotens]

And as I said to Maddie "There's a reason I'm not on those lists"