The Reason You Don't See The Sun Anymore (standalone)
Rain was pounding down heavily on the pavement when Ryan heard the knock on the door. Wondering who the hell would be outside on a day like this, he forced himself sluggishly out of his chair and walked to the door, wrenching it open. He shuddered as a blast of icy air rushed over him, and his best friend stood there, soaking wet and shivering slightly.
Only Brendon, thought Ryan, mentally shaking his head.
He looked like...well, Ryan wasn’t quite sure what Brendon looked like, but it was not a pretty sight. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets, a pitiful expression on his face, the tip of his nose bright red from the cold. It didn’t stop him from looking utterly adorable, however.
If only best friends were allowed to think that.
“Jesus, Bren?” Ryan’s voice came out vaguely shocked. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I came to see you!” Brendon flashed a dazzling smile at him, and Ryan’s body warmed despite the freezing air outside.
*
He ushered Brendon into his room, attempting to strip him of his sodden clothes, but seeing as Brendon was wet right through, he decided to be kind and get him some clothes that would hopefully fit him (there was no denying that Brendon was indeed bigger in certain areas than Ryan was, and he most certainly had not missed that fact), a towel, and then to cover his eyes.
“Thanks,” muttered Brendon, and pouted apologetically. Ryan raised an eyebrow, trying not to stare at Brendon’s mouth, sitting on his bed and nudging Brendon’s wet clothes with his foot as if they had personally offended him.
“Jesus, Ryan, you have no ass,” complained Brendon, attempting to pull the tight jeans of his hips and butt. It looked painful, and Ryan answered, “You have too much ass.”
He patted the space beside him, and Brendon sat down gratefully, climbing under Ryan’s coverlet from the wrong end.
Ryan wanted to frown. He really did.
*
“So why exactly did you wander around in the rain, just to see me?”
Ryan looked sceptically at Brendon, an eyebrow cocked disbelievingly.
“Because I wanted to see you!” Brendon pursed his lips. “Do you want me to go?”
Ryan rolled his eyes. Brendon shrank a little. He’d always been a bit unsure around Ryan, despite his usual hyper-stupid confidence with Jon and Spencer, and all their other friends. Ryan loathed how Brendon tiptoed around him, like a loud noise would make Ryan snap and scream at him.
Which, of course, he’d never do.
“No, silly,” said Ryan impatiently. Brendon really was too naïve. Besides, his bed now resembled little like what a bed ought to, and Brendon looked too adorable wrapped up in his sheets.
Not that Ryan hadn’t imagined that before.
“Well - I thought you might’ve been lonely...you know, it’s all gloomy and dark, you might’ve wanted some company?” Brendon looked at him earnestly, gauging his expression. He shrugged when Ryan remained silent, staring at his hands.
Ryan jumped as thin blocks of ice crept into his hand, stroking his palm gently. He glanced down, realising that they were Brendon’s fingers. He bit down on his lip, and chanced a glance at Brendon, blushing slightly. His skin was paler than normal, because he was still cold; lips flushed red and hair glistening with raindrops. Ryan couldn’t imagine anything more perfect.
Brendon gave a small smile, tightening his grasp.
The rain was still falling.
*
“Ryan...” Brendon’s voice wound its way timidly out from the mess of sheets.
“Uh huh?”
Two wide, deep brown eyes peered at him, reminding Ryan of a puppy. “Do - do you always like to be alone?”
Ryan’s forehead creased in confusion. “Well - I - I hang out with you, don’t I? And Jon, and Spencer.” His heart set a frantic pace for his brain to keep up with. He wondered.
Brendon’s innocent eyes shone with questions. “But you know - like, really alone, as in, you were sitting here, alone, before I turned up. Do you want to be alone? Would you prefer it if I wasn’t here?”
Ryan couldn’t lie. “No,” he admitted. “I wouldn’t.”
“Then why do you do it?” Brendon’s fingers traced patterns on his back. Ryan flushed, feeling the warmth seep into his skin from Brendon’s now warm fingertips, and realising that Brendon was pressed against him, one arm around his waist.
“I don’t know,” whispered Ryan, leaning wearily against Brendon’s shoulder.
Brendon looked at him thoughtfully. “Is it because you want someone who is more than just a friend?” He wrapped the sheets around both of them, resting his head against Ryan’s chest.
“Do you?” asked Ryan suddenly. More than just a friend.
That’s what I want you to be Brendon, he thought miserably, and yet somehow I doubt you’ll ever think of yourself as more than just my friend.
*
Brendon had gone silent a while ago.
It was starting to worry Ryan, because he was no longer his usual energy-filled, hyperactive self, merely sitting there like - like...Like me, thought Ryan.
“Yes.”
Ryan looked up. “Sorry?”
“I do.” Brendon was still focused intently on a point on the wall. He hadn’t looked away from it for the past ten minutes, and now that he was talking again, Ryan heaved a huge sigh of relief.
“Do what? Marry me?” Ryan laughed softly, but it was more than just a flippant remark.
If that was what it came to...well, he would be more than ready to accept.
Brendon gave him a look. “I do want someone who is more than just a friend.”
Ryan nodded sadly, hoping that what he felt wasn’t showing on his face.
A number of emotions passed swiftly across Brendon’s face, and he brushed his fingertips lightly against Ryan’s cheek. Ryan froze, and Brendon leaned in, pressing his lips softly to Ryan’s.
Ryan gasped in surprise, and Brendon took the opportunity to deepen the kiss before pulling away and smiling.
“More,” he murmured, linking his fingers with Ryan’s.
The weak sunlight shone out from behind the clouds.