My first SiWon and KyuHyun fanfic...
We Are Boys
By: viktorialouise
Genre: Romance / Drama / Angst
Pairing: SiWon / KyuHyun
Length: One Shot
Rating: G
“We will always be friends.”
SiWon heard his dongsaeng said. The latter walked away from him with slumped shoulders. He knew how much his dongsaeng was hurting. But the lad remained calm and promised him their friendship. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t move any further than this. Admitting it was one thing, but pursuing it was different.
“미안해, (Mianhae / Sorry) KyuHyun-ah.” SiWon whispered. With a heavy heart he turned around and soon as he saw the pictures scattered on his coffee table, he couldn’t stop the memories rushing back to him.
Among all the trainees in the training camp, there was really no one whom SiWon had become closed to. Even when he was to debut with eleven other boys, he did not feel like he belonged. But it all changed after the thirteenth and last member of their group arrived. Jo KyuHyun.
SiWon didn’t exactly know how their friendship started. He knew of KyuHyun as a quiet boy. SiWon would often see him just sitting in a corner, if not playing with a computer the boy was observing them, his hyungs and sunbaes. He thought that maybe KyuHyun was just not so used to the lifestyle they were living because of his family background, a bit disciplinarian since the boy’s father was in the education business. Then one night…
“Argh! This is tiring.” SiWon exclaimed after collapsing on the sofa, face down. “When can we take a break from all of this?” He was too tired and was getting irritated with the nonstop practice that they’ve been doing. He wanted to go out and do normal stuffs that young men like him do in a week night such as that. He thought he was living a cool life but instead he’s been working his ass off to look like he was cool for a few moments in the limelight.
“Ah, is this really it?” He complained. “This doesn’t seem fun at all.”
“Water?” He heard someone said to him. When he looked up it was KyuHyun. The boy was handing him cold bottled water. “Have a drink, hyung.”
“고맙다.” (Gomapta / Thanks) He said, took the bottle and sat down. But he was a bit annoyed coz he was after all having his moment there. He looked at KyuHyun who sat beside him. The boy never took his eyes away from the other members scurrying around their practice room.
He found it odd. KyuHyun never really talks with someone until he is spoken to. There were moments he thought that the boy was awkward with them - that KyuHyun might have made the wrong decision entering their training camp and be a pop idol.
“What are you looking at?” He finally asked.
“Look at RyeoWook, he’s about to inflate his cheeks and puff them like a puffer fish.” KyuHyun said smiling then faced SiWon. “Like this.” The boy added and then hilariously imitated RyeoWook’s mannerism.
SiWon looked away and gazed at RyeoWook who did exactly the same.
“RyeoWook does that every time he feels tired and bored. After a while he will be full of energy again.” KyuHyun said. “Then look at YeSung hyung, he’ll yawn like this.”
SiWon laughed when he saw how comical YeSung’s yawn was. “You always sit alone in the corner observing them and mimic their mannerisms, don’t you?”
“아니요.” (Aniyo / No) KyuHyun said who suddenly sounded formal and princely. The boy sat with his left leg crossed above his right leg while his right elbow rested on his knee to support his chin. His facial expression was a bit awkward trying to look snooty and embarrassingly surprised at the same time.
SiWon’s eyes widened in astonishment when he realized that KyuHyun was imitating him, “What the-?”
KyuHyun laughed. It was the first time that SiWon heard their youngest member laughed. It was so alive. “I don’t act that way.” SiWon claimed.
“I don’t act that way.” KyuHyun mimicked him and burst into a mischievous laughter.
“Yah!” SiWon moved and was about to smack the boy when the latter stood up faster than him and ran away. “You come back here, you punk!”
KyuHyun stuck his tongue out at him and laughed. “자식!” (Jashik! / You, punk!) The boy said imitating him again then winked.
SiWon slumped back to the sofa. But instead of feeling more tired, he felt a bit refreshed. He didn’t know why but having that little banter with KyuHyun gave him a bit of energy and somehow less annoyed.
“Break’s over.” Their instructor announced. “Are you ready, lads?”
When he stood up, SiWon saw KyuHyun smiling at him. The latter was mouthing two voiceless questions. ‘Are you not irritated anymore? And hyung, aren’t we cool?’
SiWon nodded and gave his dongsaeng an approving smile.
“Hyung!” He heard someone called out. SiWon turned around and saw his favourite dongsaeng rushing from somewhere. “Are we late?”
“Nope. The movie will start fifteen minutes from now.” He answered but looked at KyuHyun with inquisitive eyes. “Where have you been? Didn’t we agree to meet up at the burger shop two hours before this coz I was really craving for a baconator?”
“미안해.” KyuHyun scratched the back of his head. “I was asked by my professor to stay and discuss some matters about the upcoming play he asked me to perform at school.”
“Really, now?” SiWon didn’t believe. “Try another alibi, come on.”
“Ahm…” KyuHyun scratched his nape and smiled nervously. “I met this girl at school and kind of lost track of time-”
“여-여자?” (G-girl?) SiWon said louder than he intended. “I mean… what girl? Come on, give me the real reason.” He said as he was trying to cover up the annoyance in his voice. He didn’t know why but somehow he was irritated that his dongsaeng nearly stood him up for almost two hours to meet up with a girl in school.
“Eeer… The truth is I was playing star craft and forgot to turn on my alarm clock so I’d be-”
“I knew it! You almost stood me up because of that damn game.” SiWon said but he felt so relieved that it was the real reason that made the younger man late. ‘Better the game than a girl,’ he thought to himself. Realizing what he just thought, he stopped.
“Hyung, what’s wrong?” KyuHyun asked. “Why do you look that way?”
“Huh? Why? How do I look?” He asked nervously. He quickly put his hand over his forehead, his point finger and thumb massaged his temples and the remainder of his fingers and palm covered his face.
“You’re so red as if you’re blushing.” KyuHyun said teasingly. His eyes glowed with mischief that made SiWon’s heartbeats raced faster than usual.
“Oh no!” SiWon exclaimed. ‘This can’t be,’ he thought but stopped. He knew that to deny it to his self was futile. He was feeling it for months now. It made him extraordinarily happy - spending time with KyuHyun was one of the things he looked forward every day. It would have been easier if it remained as a vague, nameless feeling. Now that it was as clear as a crystal, how was he to face it? He knew that their friendship was special but how about KyuHyun? It may not be the same with him.
“OH NO, hyung!” KyuHyun suddenly said. When SiWon heard his dongsaeng’s frantic voice, he was afraid to look at his face.
‘Did he realize it already?’ SiWon didn’t know what to do or think. But more than being worried he was afraid that KyuHyun would leave and stay away from him like he had a contagious disease. Moreover he was afraid that he would lose his dongsaeng’s friendship. “KyuHyun-ah,” he started. “Let me ex-”
“Hyung, let’s go. We’re already late. The movie is starting now.”
SiWon frowned, more confused than ever. “뭐? (Mweo? / What?) You mean the OH NO is for getting late?”
His dongsaeng grabbed his hand and pulled him inside the theatre. “Why? What were you thinking?”
SiWon’s fear faded gradually and a smile slowly appeared on his lips. “없어. (Eopseo / Nothing) We’re late.” He said. He was very aware that KyuHyun was still holding his hand as they entered the dimly lit theatre.
‘I like you.’ Siwon finally admitted to himself.
“I.LIKE.YOU!” It echoed in his head a million times and yet he still couldn’t understand quite clearly. His ears might be mistaken.
“무슨 말이야?” (Museun marya? / What did you say?) SiWon asked. To say that he was surprised was an understatement. It was more like he was shocked to the revelation. He stepped back. It’s not that he was afraid of what he just learned but the thing was, the one who confessed it kept on advancing, eyes looking straight at him, eyes burrowing deep in his soul.
“Stop right there.” He said and stretched out both of his hands.
“I really, really like you…” SiWon’s eyes widened more when he heard the confession again. Absurd but he felt a little bit happy. “Hyung, I like you, more than you will ever know.”
“KyuHyun-ah!” SiWon said in a whisper. He could not find the strength to resist and deny anymore but, “we are friends and we are bo-”
“Yes, we are friends, all the reason why I like you, hyung.” KyuHyun said. “Spending time with you, talking with you, looking at you, these are reasons why I like you. I am happy when I am with you. When we are not together all I could think about is you. There is something here,” he took one of SiWon’s hands and placed it on his chest. “There is something here that I cannot deny any longer.”
“KyuHyun, do you know what you are saying?” SiWon tried to reason again. “We are bo-” The words were stuck in his mouth when his dongsaeng’s lips covered his. Shocked, he couldn’t move. KyuHyun’s hands cupped his face. KyuHyun’s lips pressed against his. KyuHyun’s breath mixed with his.
SiWon closed his eyes. How could he stop this kiss when all spring he was dreaming about how KyuHyun’s lips would feel against his? “KyuHyun-ah,” he murmured when the latter’s lips left for a brief moment.
SiWon took a deep breath because the moment he opened his mouth and uttered his dongsaeng’s name, the latter kissed him again. Only now, the kiss was deeper. He could feel KyuHyun sucking his lower lip. He could feel KyuHyun’s tongue inside his mouth, tasting him. He could feel his resolve wavering.
‘We are boys.’ He thought and that gave him strength to push his dongsaeng away. “WE.ARE.BOYS.” He finally said as he raced for breath.
“So what if we are?” KyuHyun said and then tried to kiss him again.
SiWon pulled away. “No, KyuHyun! This is not right.”
“What is not right?” KyuHyun’s voice rose. His face filled with anger and passion. “I like you. I feel you like me too. What is not right about that? How can you deny us of this feeling? How can you say that what we feel is wrong?”
“This is not normal.” SiWon said and turned to look away. He could not dare to look at the hurt in KyuHyun’s eyes.
“Of course this is not normal. But to say that this is not right is wrong. REALLY WRONG, hyung.”
“We are boys. It is not normal.” SiWon said. “I admit that there is something between us. I admit that I like you more than a friend. The kiss-”
“You like it, I know.” KyuHyun said. “I felt it. You kissed me back.”
“Heck! Yes, I admit.” SiWon said but backed away when he saw KyuHyun trying to embrace him. “KyuHyun, no! Don’t come any closer. I am admitting this… whatever it is we have, whatever it is that we feel for each other. But-”
“But? How can you say a but?” His dongsaeng exasperatedly said.
“I can only admit this KyuHyun.” SiWon said with sadness in his tone. He looked down, kept avoiding his dongsaeng’s eyes for fear that he would not be able to stand firm. “I like you, I admit. But to pursue this-”
“What about the kiss, hyung?”
“The kiss happened and I cannot take it back anymore.” He said. “Let’s treasure it but it should not happen again. Ever.”
“This is it?” KyuHyun asked with stoic expression. “You’re putting a stop already to a beginning that has barely started.”
SiWon nodded. “I am sorry. I can only go this far. I like-”
KyuHyun shook his head. “Please, hyung. Don’t say it anymore.”
“I am sorry if I hurt you.”
“I am sorry if I wanted you to pursue this.” He heard his dongsaeng said.
“KyuHyun-ah,” he called when the boy turned about and started to walk away. “I am sorry. I thank you for our friendship-”
“Our friendship will always remain, hyung, I promise.” KyuHyun said then walked out of his room.
“KyuHyun-ah!” SiWon waved at his dongsaeng who just flew in from Japan. It has been six months since he last saw the lad. K.R.Y. was formed shortly after that fateful night. The subgroup that KyuHyun was put into gave them time to be apart. He hoped that their time apart had somehow healed the wounds he had unintentionally inflicted to the boy.
“Hyung.” KyuHyun nodded at him as the boy entered the dorm house.
SiWon’s smile slowly disappeared soon as he realized that KyuHyun’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. KyuHyun’s usual happy greeting to him wasn’t there.
“KyuHyun-ah, 잘 지내?” (Jal jinae? / How have you been?) He heard someone asked. SiWon would have felt okay. He would’ve just let KyuHyun’s coldness off. But he felt his heart being torn as he heard KyuHyun’s tone shifted from being formal toward him to glad and at ease toward that person who asked the question.
“잘 지내요. 너도, 성민 형?” (Jal jinaeyo. Neodo, SungMin hyung? / I am fine. How about you, SungMin hyung?)
SiWon turned away. He wouldn’t let that break his heart further. He wouldn’t let KyuHyun know that it hurt him. He wouldn’t let his dongsaeng see his regret.
‘Huh!’ He painfully thought. ‘What a lame excuse?! So what if we are boys?’ He chuckled but then realized he had already missed his opportunity to be with him.
THE END
By: viktorialouise
Genre: Romance / Drama / Angst
Pairing: SiWon / KyuHyun
Length: One Shot
Rating: G
“We will always be friends.”
SiWon heard his dongsaeng said. The latter walked away from him with slumped shoulders. He knew how much his dongsaeng was hurting. But the lad remained calm and promised him their friendship. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t move any further than this. Admitting it was one thing, but pursuing it was different.
“미안해, (Mianhae / Sorry) KyuHyun-ah.” SiWon whispered. With a heavy heart he turned around and soon as he saw the pictures scattered on his coffee table, he couldn’t stop the memories rushing back to him.
Among all the trainees in the training camp, there was really no one whom SiWon had become closed to. Even when he was to debut with eleven other boys, he did not feel like he belonged. But it all changed after the thirteenth and last member of their group arrived. Jo KyuHyun.
SiWon didn’t exactly know how their friendship started. He knew of KyuHyun as a quiet boy. SiWon would often see him just sitting in a corner, if not playing with a computer the boy was observing them, his hyungs and sunbaes. He thought that maybe KyuHyun was just not so used to the lifestyle they were living because of his family background, a bit disciplinarian since the boy’s father was in the education business. Then one night…
“Argh! This is tiring.” SiWon exclaimed after collapsing on the sofa, face down. “When can we take a break from all of this?” He was too tired and was getting irritated with the nonstop practice that they’ve been doing. He wanted to go out and do normal stuffs that young men like him do in a week night such as that. He thought he was living a cool life but instead he’s been working his ass off to look like he was cool for a few moments in the limelight.
“Ah, is this really it?” He complained. “This doesn’t seem fun at all.”
“Water?” He heard someone said to him. When he looked up it was KyuHyun. The boy was handing him cold bottled water. “Have a drink, hyung.”
“고맙다.” (Gomapta / Thanks) He said, took the bottle and sat down. But he was a bit annoyed coz he was after all having his moment there. He looked at KyuHyun who sat beside him. The boy never took his eyes away from the other members scurrying around their practice room.
He found it odd. KyuHyun never really talks with someone until he is spoken to. There were moments he thought that the boy was awkward with them - that KyuHyun might have made the wrong decision entering their training camp and be a pop idol.
“What are you looking at?” He finally asked.
“Look at RyeoWook, he’s about to inflate his cheeks and puff them like a puffer fish.” KyuHyun said smiling then faced SiWon. “Like this.” The boy added and then hilariously imitated RyeoWook’s mannerism.
SiWon looked away and gazed at RyeoWook who did exactly the same.
“RyeoWook does that every time he feels tired and bored. After a while he will be full of energy again.” KyuHyun said. “Then look at YeSung hyung, he’ll yawn like this.”
SiWon laughed when he saw how comical YeSung’s yawn was. “You always sit alone in the corner observing them and mimic their mannerisms, don’t you?”
“아니요.” (Aniyo / No) KyuHyun said who suddenly sounded formal and princely. The boy sat with his left leg crossed above his right leg while his right elbow rested on his knee to support his chin. His facial expression was a bit awkward trying to look snooty and embarrassingly surprised at the same time.
SiWon’s eyes widened in astonishment when he realized that KyuHyun was imitating him, “What the-?”
KyuHyun laughed. It was the first time that SiWon heard their youngest member laughed. It was so alive. “I don’t act that way.” SiWon claimed.
“I don’t act that way.” KyuHyun mimicked him and burst into a mischievous laughter.
“Yah!” SiWon moved and was about to smack the boy when the latter stood up faster than him and ran away. “You come back here, you punk!”
KyuHyun stuck his tongue out at him and laughed. “자식!” (Jashik! / You, punk!) The boy said imitating him again then winked.
SiWon slumped back to the sofa. But instead of feeling more tired, he felt a bit refreshed. He didn’t know why but having that little banter with KyuHyun gave him a bit of energy and somehow less annoyed.
“Break’s over.” Their instructor announced. “Are you ready, lads?”
When he stood up, SiWon saw KyuHyun smiling at him. The latter was mouthing two voiceless questions. ‘Are you not irritated anymore? And hyung, aren’t we cool?’
SiWon nodded and gave his dongsaeng an approving smile.
“Hyung!” He heard someone called out. SiWon turned around and saw his favourite dongsaeng rushing from somewhere. “Are we late?”
“Nope. The movie will start fifteen minutes from now.” He answered but looked at KyuHyun with inquisitive eyes. “Where have you been? Didn’t we agree to meet up at the burger shop two hours before this coz I was really craving for a baconator?”
“미안해.” KyuHyun scratched the back of his head. “I was asked by my professor to stay and discuss some matters about the upcoming play he asked me to perform at school.”
“Really, now?” SiWon didn’t believe. “Try another alibi, come on.”
“Ahm…” KyuHyun scratched his nape and smiled nervously. “I met this girl at school and kind of lost track of time-”
“여-여자?” (G-girl?) SiWon said louder than he intended. “I mean… what girl? Come on, give me the real reason.” He said as he was trying to cover up the annoyance in his voice. He didn’t know why but somehow he was irritated that his dongsaeng nearly stood him up for almost two hours to meet up with a girl in school.
“Eeer… The truth is I was playing star craft and forgot to turn on my alarm clock so I’d be-”
“I knew it! You almost stood me up because of that damn game.” SiWon said but he felt so relieved that it was the real reason that made the younger man late. ‘Better the game than a girl,’ he thought to himself. Realizing what he just thought, he stopped.
“Hyung, what’s wrong?” KyuHyun asked. “Why do you look that way?”
“Huh? Why? How do I look?” He asked nervously. He quickly put his hand over his forehead, his point finger and thumb massaged his temples and the remainder of his fingers and palm covered his face.
“You’re so red as if you’re blushing.” KyuHyun said teasingly. His eyes glowed with mischief that made SiWon’s heartbeats raced faster than usual.
“Oh no!” SiWon exclaimed. ‘This can’t be,’ he thought but stopped. He knew that to deny it to his self was futile. He was feeling it for months now. It made him extraordinarily happy - spending time with KyuHyun was one of the things he looked forward every day. It would have been easier if it remained as a vague, nameless feeling. Now that it was as clear as a crystal, how was he to face it? He knew that their friendship was special but how about KyuHyun? It may not be the same with him.
“OH NO, hyung!” KyuHyun suddenly said. When SiWon heard his dongsaeng’s frantic voice, he was afraid to look at his face.
‘Did he realize it already?’ SiWon didn’t know what to do or think. But more than being worried he was afraid that KyuHyun would leave and stay away from him like he had a contagious disease. Moreover he was afraid that he would lose his dongsaeng’s friendship. “KyuHyun-ah,” he started. “Let me ex-”
“Hyung, let’s go. We’re already late. The movie is starting now.”
SiWon frowned, more confused than ever. “뭐? (Mweo? / What?) You mean the OH NO is for getting late?”
His dongsaeng grabbed his hand and pulled him inside the theatre. “Why? What were you thinking?”
SiWon’s fear faded gradually and a smile slowly appeared on his lips. “없어. (Eopseo / Nothing) We’re late.” He said. He was very aware that KyuHyun was still holding his hand as they entered the dimly lit theatre.
‘I like you.’ Siwon finally admitted to himself.
“I.LIKE.YOU!” It echoed in his head a million times and yet he still couldn’t understand quite clearly. His ears might be mistaken.
“무슨 말이야?” (Museun marya? / What did you say?) SiWon asked. To say that he was surprised was an understatement. It was more like he was shocked to the revelation. He stepped back. It’s not that he was afraid of what he just learned but the thing was, the one who confessed it kept on advancing, eyes looking straight at him, eyes burrowing deep in his soul.
“Stop right there.” He said and stretched out both of his hands.
“I really, really like you…” SiWon’s eyes widened more when he heard the confession again. Absurd but he felt a little bit happy. “Hyung, I like you, more than you will ever know.”
“KyuHyun-ah!” SiWon said in a whisper. He could not find the strength to resist and deny anymore but, “we are friends and we are bo-”
“Yes, we are friends, all the reason why I like you, hyung.” KyuHyun said. “Spending time with you, talking with you, looking at you, these are reasons why I like you. I am happy when I am with you. When we are not together all I could think about is you. There is something here,” he took one of SiWon’s hands and placed it on his chest. “There is something here that I cannot deny any longer.”
“KyuHyun, do you know what you are saying?” SiWon tried to reason again. “We are bo-” The words were stuck in his mouth when his dongsaeng’s lips covered his. Shocked, he couldn’t move. KyuHyun’s hands cupped his face. KyuHyun’s lips pressed against his. KyuHyun’s breath mixed with his.
SiWon closed his eyes. How could he stop this kiss when all spring he was dreaming about how KyuHyun’s lips would feel against his? “KyuHyun-ah,” he murmured when the latter’s lips left for a brief moment.
SiWon took a deep breath because the moment he opened his mouth and uttered his dongsaeng’s name, the latter kissed him again. Only now, the kiss was deeper. He could feel KyuHyun sucking his lower lip. He could feel KyuHyun’s tongue inside his mouth, tasting him. He could feel his resolve wavering.
‘We are boys.’ He thought and that gave him strength to push his dongsaeng away. “WE.ARE.BOYS.” He finally said as he raced for breath.
“So what if we are?” KyuHyun said and then tried to kiss him again.
SiWon pulled away. “No, KyuHyun! This is not right.”
“What is not right?” KyuHyun’s voice rose. His face filled with anger and passion. “I like you. I feel you like me too. What is not right about that? How can you deny us of this feeling? How can you say that what we feel is wrong?”
“This is not normal.” SiWon said and turned to look away. He could not dare to look at the hurt in KyuHyun’s eyes.
“Of course this is not normal. But to say that this is not right is wrong. REALLY WRONG, hyung.”
“We are boys. It is not normal.” SiWon said. “I admit that there is something between us. I admit that I like you more than a friend. The kiss-”
“You like it, I know.” KyuHyun said. “I felt it. You kissed me back.”
“Heck! Yes, I admit.” SiWon said but backed away when he saw KyuHyun trying to embrace him. “KyuHyun, no! Don’t come any closer. I am admitting this… whatever it is we have, whatever it is that we feel for each other. But-”
“But? How can you say a but?” His dongsaeng exasperatedly said.
“I can only admit this KyuHyun.” SiWon said with sadness in his tone. He looked down, kept avoiding his dongsaeng’s eyes for fear that he would not be able to stand firm. “I like you, I admit. But to pursue this-”
“What about the kiss, hyung?”
“The kiss happened and I cannot take it back anymore.” He said. “Let’s treasure it but it should not happen again. Ever.”
“This is it?” KyuHyun asked with stoic expression. “You’re putting a stop already to a beginning that has barely started.”
SiWon nodded. “I am sorry. I can only go this far. I like-”
KyuHyun shook his head. “Please, hyung. Don’t say it anymore.”
“I am sorry if I hurt you.”
“I am sorry if I wanted you to pursue this.” He heard his dongsaeng said.
“KyuHyun-ah,” he called when the boy turned about and started to walk away. “I am sorry. I thank you for our friendship-”
“Our friendship will always remain, hyung, I promise.” KyuHyun said then walked out of his room.
“KyuHyun-ah!” SiWon waved at his dongsaeng who just flew in from Japan. It has been six months since he last saw the lad. K.R.Y. was formed shortly after that fateful night. The subgroup that KyuHyun was put into gave them time to be apart. He hoped that their time apart had somehow healed the wounds he had unintentionally inflicted to the boy.
“Hyung.” KyuHyun nodded at him as the boy entered the dorm house.
SiWon’s smile slowly disappeared soon as he realized that KyuHyun’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. KyuHyun’s usual happy greeting to him wasn’t there.
“KyuHyun-ah, 잘 지내?” (Jal jinae? / How have you been?) He heard someone asked. SiWon would have felt okay. He would’ve just let KyuHyun’s coldness off. But he felt his heart being torn as he heard KyuHyun’s tone shifted from being formal toward him to glad and at ease toward that person who asked the question.
“잘 지내요. 너도, 성민 형?” (Jal jinaeyo. Neodo, SungMin hyung? / I am fine. How about you, SungMin hyung?)
SiWon turned away. He wouldn’t let that break his heart further. He wouldn’t let KyuHyun know that it hurt him. He wouldn’t let his dongsaeng see his regret.
‘Huh!’ He painfully thought. ‘What a lame excuse?! So what if we are boys?’ He chuckled but then realized he had already missed his opportunity to be with him.
THE END