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Small Talk and Why It Sucks
I don’t like small talk.
I really don’t.
I told my mother this the other day on the phone and she about had a stroke. She thinks that this proves that I’m a bipolar mess.
So, because I think that theory is seriously stupid, I’m going to tell everyone why I hate small talk.
First of all, small talk is for small minded people. People with nothing much going on in their lives, so therefore they feel the need to make some shit up to talk about because they can’t find anything meaningful to have an actual conversation about.
You know the drill.
“Hello, how are you?”
What a bullshit fucking question. No one wants to hear how you really are. Okay? They want a canned answer, a pre-packaged response, and one that’s preferably in the positive so that they’re not further obligated to carry on an actual conversation with you.
They want you to say, “Fine.”, or “Pretty good, you?”. They do not want you to really tell them how you are. They don’t want you to tell them about the serious migraine attack you had earlier in the week, all the work you have backed up to do, or that you’re really tired from your illness. When you answer them like that they feign concern, but on the inside they’re going, “Wow, what a negative Nancy.” Then they totally regret asking you how are because they don’t fucking care how you are. They just can’t find anything else to say to you and in America, we’ve become conditioned to believe that we must talk to people all the time, in every place, every time we see them, or talk to complete strangers because that’s the “polite” thing to do!
No other culture does this, by the way. Well, okay maybe Brits do, but most other cultures do not and they think we’re seriously fucked up for being so damned friendly to people we don’t know. Suppose that’s why so many people are raped and murdered? I do.
In Finland, if you make eye contact with a total stranger on the street and then crack that fake assed smile we’ve been conditioned to crack in America, they do this in their heads.
“He’s either drunk or American.”
Remember that the next time you’re smiling absently and randomly at people in the grocery.
“You enjoying the weather?”
Well, shit, I don’t know. Are you? It’s 80 degrees, it’s breezy, and the sun is out…….no, I fucking hate it. Do people understand how stupid they sound when they talk like this??? Are you enjoying the weather?! Well, obviously if you asked that question, the weather is pretty nice, right? Duh.
Obviously, none of this applies to people you actually have conversational relationships with because if you have that, then they obviously have something to talk to you about that goes above and beyond the weather, or how are you, or how’s the family.
And, let’s talk about “how’s the family?”.
They don’t want a real answer to this. They want a one word answer that let’s them off the hook of feigning interest in your family life. If you tell them how your entire family is, they’re going to schitz.
The reason I don’t like small talk is because it’s totally meaningless drivel. It has no purpose other than fulfilling some obligation that we’ve been brought up to think we have. It’s simply not enough to just walk by someone you know, say “hi” and wave and move along. “Hi” is acceptable and that should be that. Provided you have nothing really to talk to them about.
Americans are afraid of silence and being silent. The “hello” and a wave is far more genuine than a canned question with canned answers. Just a “hello” and then shutting the hell up isn’t “small talk”. Small talk is small, and small talk is dumb.
There are people out there who hardly ever speak outside their own circles. When they do, you listen because they usually have something meaningful to say and they don’t often speak so it’s a rarity. Those people are considered odd or iffy because of their quiet natures.
I hate small talk because it’s not genuine conversation that expands the mind or requires any thought. If I’ve got something to talk about, I try and choose my words carefully and I usually have thought about the conversation before I ever got to the point of actually having it. I don’t have to feign interest, I don’t have to listen to someone else feign interest, generally because they know me and I’m not having to suffer through conversations with complete strangers or nominal acquaintances that having nothing at all to do with my life on a regular basis and never will. I say, “Hi” and try to move along.
If that fails……I’ll tell them how I really am, or how my family really is. And, they don’t usually ask me this stuff twice because….as I said….they don’t really fucking care, they’re just invisibly obligated to ask me. I’ll tell them how my Great Uncle Ned’s left testicle was removed……seriously. The next time they see me, they usually just wave, say “hello”, crack that fake assed smile and RUN. At least they don’t ask me anymore bullshit.
I was born in the wrong damned country.
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:PYXvRZjvFT8J:ljwitch.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/small-talk-and-why-it-sucks/+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
Small Talk and Why It Sucks
I don’t like small talk.
I really don’t.
I told my mother this the other day on the phone and she about had a stroke. She thinks that this proves that I’m a bipolar mess.
So, because I think that theory is seriously stupid, I’m going to tell everyone why I hate small talk.
First of all, small talk is for small minded people. People with nothing much going on in their lives, so therefore they feel the need to make some shit up to talk about because they can’t find anything meaningful to have an actual conversation about.
You know the drill.
“Hello, how are you?”
What a bullshit fucking question. No one wants to hear how you really are. Okay? They want a canned answer, a pre-packaged response, and one that’s preferably in the positive so that they’re not further obligated to carry on an actual conversation with you.
They want you to say, “Fine.”, or “Pretty good, you?”. They do not want you to really tell them how you are. They don’t want you to tell them about the serious migraine attack you had earlier in the week, all the work you have backed up to do, or that you’re really tired from your illness. When you answer them like that they feign concern, but on the inside they’re going, “Wow, what a negative Nancy.” Then they totally regret asking you how are because they don’t fucking care how you are. They just can’t find anything else to say to you and in America, we’ve become conditioned to believe that we must talk to people all the time, in every place, every time we see them, or talk to complete strangers because that’s the “polite” thing to do!
No other culture does this, by the way. Well, okay maybe Brits do, but most other cultures do not and they think we’re seriously fucked up for being so damned friendly to people we don’t know. Suppose that’s why so many people are raped and murdered? I do.
In Finland, if you make eye contact with a total stranger on the street and then crack that fake assed smile we’ve been conditioned to crack in America, they do this in their heads.
“He’s either drunk or American.”
Remember that the next time you’re smiling absently and randomly at people in the grocery.
“You enjoying the weather?”
Well, shit, I don’t know. Are you? It’s 80 degrees, it’s breezy, and the sun is out…….no, I fucking hate it. Do people understand how stupid they sound when they talk like this??? Are you enjoying the weather?! Well, obviously if you asked that question, the weather is pretty nice, right? Duh.
Obviously, none of this applies to people you actually have conversational relationships with because if you have that, then they obviously have something to talk to you about that goes above and beyond the weather, or how are you, or how’s the family.
And, let’s talk about “how’s the family?”.
They don’t want a real answer to this. They want a one word answer that let’s them off the hook of feigning interest in your family life. If you tell them how your entire family is, they’re going to schitz.
The reason I don’t like small talk is because it’s totally meaningless drivel. It has no purpose other than fulfilling some obligation that we’ve been brought up to think we have. It’s simply not enough to just walk by someone you know, say “hi” and wave and move along. “Hi” is acceptable and that should be that. Provided you have nothing really to talk to them about.
Americans are afraid of silence and being silent. The “hello” and a wave is far more genuine than a canned question with canned answers. Just a “hello” and then shutting the hell up isn’t “small talk”. Small talk is small, and small talk is dumb.
There are people out there who hardly ever speak outside their own circles. When they do, you listen because they usually have something meaningful to say and they don’t often speak so it’s a rarity. Those people are considered odd or iffy because of their quiet natures.
I hate small talk because it’s not genuine conversation that expands the mind or requires any thought. If I’ve got something to talk about, I try and choose my words carefully and I usually have thought about the conversation before I ever got to the point of actually having it. I don’t have to feign interest, I don’t have to listen to someone else feign interest, generally because they know me and I’m not having to suffer through conversations with complete strangers or nominal acquaintances that having nothing at all to do with my life on a regular basis and never will. I say, “Hi” and try to move along.
If that fails……I’ll tell them how I really am, or how my family really is. And, they don’t usually ask me this stuff twice because….as I said….they don’t really fucking care, they’re just invisibly obligated to ask me. I’ll tell them how my Great Uncle Ned’s left testicle was removed……seriously. The next time they see me, they usually just wave, say “hello”, crack that fake assed smile and RUN. At least they don’t ask me anymore bullshit.
I was born in the wrong damned country.