whitewashing and whining.

[vikki]

Just boosting the signal on the topical subject, the recent racefail in the Supernatural/J2 Big Bang.

From one privileged white girl to another - elizah_jane talks about the importance of elucidating racism.
Like Clockwork - amonitrate talks about why the subject material is problematic and why this must be discussed

Comments

[kaitou_marina]

You know why racism as a topic sucks so bad for people like me (of privilege)? Nobody wants to be racist.

I'm trying to think of a polite way to say this, but none of this should ever be about how badly racism sucks for privileged people. Ever.

Edited because I misread something, but sentiment remains the same. It was a kneejerk reaction because I've seen way too many people being butthurt over being called racist recently, like it's the worst insult in the world.

[tobu_ishi]

*nods* I was disappointed in so many of my favorite authors during RaceFail'09. Somebody would call racism and they'd react as if they were the ones being attacked. Me, racist? How ever so dare you? I'll have you know I'm a perfectly nice person! You're just being too harsh!

Okay.

A) "Racist" is not an identity, it's a behavior. If you are being a racist, you can stop. It doesn't make you a bad person, just like sideswiping somebody's car because you were on your cell phone doesn't make you a bad person. What makes you a bad person is gunning the motor and racing away, instead of pulling over to exchange information and pay for the damages.

B) "Racist" is not an insult, it is a specific and relevant adjective. It is not like being called n***** or ch*** or any number of other epithets. It is not an attack on your whiteness, not that such an 'attack' could possibly hurt you as much as you like to imagine it would, or as much as whatever you did may have hurt somebody else

[tikimick]

You are 100% right. Thing is is that most people don't see it that way, and will automatically go on the defensive.

For me this entire thing is like a slap to my stupid white cheek. I used to be all 'man those Politically Correct kids are too politically correct! They need to loosen up!' And now I understand the PC kids knew where it was at.

[bard_linn]

"Racist" is not something you should try to disprove or escape. It's something you should try to own up to and address. If someone calls you out for acting racist, you probably are. Sit down, listen, find out what it was and then stop it.

Can I ask an honest question about this? Because this both confuses and bothers me.

The one time I was called racist in my life, I was asking a young, black teenage boy to sit down and do his work (I'm a teacher). He retorted that I was 'picking on him because he was Black'. Now, as a teacher I expect my students to sit in their seat and complete their assignments. I was not letting anyone else get away with this. The student was being disruptive. How does this make me racist?

I'm not asking to be smart or anything. I'm honestly trying to understand.

[vikki]

People who are more educated on the subject will probably do a better job of responding to this than I do, but here's my opinion:

First, examine yourself. Do you find you single him out for disruptive behavior, or are faster to catch him in disruptive acts than others? It might be subconscious.

Second, look at it from his perspective. Maybe previous teachers have been especially harsh on him because he's a PoC. Maybe he notices. Maybe there are certain expectations that are different because he is a PoC.

Basically the rule I'm seeing everywhere is: the PoC gets the benefit of the doubt if they say something is racist.

[bard_linn]

I might have been faster to catch him, but that was because he had a habit of acting out - a long term problem if you will.

And I do consider that. My school is primarily white, and our black population has been dropping (though all of the other groups have been growing, actually). Which is part of the reason I try to be very, very careful with how I handle it.

On the other hand, these are also teenagers. And believe me when I say that some of them will say anything to get out of doing what they are supposed to. (You would not believe some of the tales I've overheard students telling each other so they could get out of work.) I think my bottom line is that racist isn't a word we should throw around casually.

[tobu_ishi]

If someone calls you out for acting racist, you probably are.

And that's why I included the 'probably'. The word "racist" can be thrown around for the wrong reasons, like any other word. But, honestly, from how you describe the situation? It sounds like you handled it just fine.

You didn't dismiss the accusation out of hand. It sounds like you did think about it and examine your actions. And in this case, it sounds like the accusation was ungrounded (and probably a case of a teenager trying to be difficult--if it wasn't "because he was Black", he would have come up with some other protest).

The fact that you actually sat down and thought honestly about it is important, though, and laudable. What drives me mad is the people who flinch so hard away from the possibility that they never consider their own conduct, and therefore if there was a problem in this or that particular case, it never changes.

[bard_linn]

I grew up in a mixed community, and have had friends of all different racial backgrounds, and I work very hard to keep my class a safe zone - I stomp all over kids when they call something 'gay' for stupid and they know better than to even /start/ with jokes about any group. So for me, being called 'rascist' was very painful. So I can emphasize with those people who feel attacked.

I haven't read all of the posts about this incident, by the way - I'm just thinking more in general.

[tobu_ishi]

*nods* I think what we have to remember more than anything is that being called 'racist' may hurt, but it mostly hurts our pride, y'know?

Whereas being treated in a racist way is not just painful, but life-altering and frustrating, and often impossible to get away from.

It's a matter of staying humble and keeping your priorities straight. Yes, it hurts to be called racist, but. "Feeling attacked" is still less nasty than what PoCs go through, in the end.

[vikki]

This is the topic that I'm trying to address, but I find your response much more succinct.

[vikki]

I concur. As the privileged group, especially here in America, racism is never bad for us.

I'm trying to explain why the topic makes white people so butthurt, but I'm not trying to excuse a butthurt reaction: that's not okay. Ever. I may very well have failed in this respect.

[kaitou_marina]

I'm not really trying to say that you failed, but the way that portion of your post was worded read like "This is still about us too!" The relevant people aren't going to care one smidgen how much the topic sucks for white people, and I don't really think it's something that needs to be explained yet again. I understand you're going through that struggle with yourself right now, which may be why that section came out like that. It's a learning process, and eventually you'll develop the lenses needed to examine your own words and the words and works of others.

[vikki]

*nods*

Okay, actually I'm gonna edit this and say:

It's not racism that sucks for white privilege and even the topic doesn't really suck, it's just hard. I know, I know, whatever, I'm of the privileged race and therefore me struggling with it is completely irrelevant, but I have to have this struggle. I think most white people have to have this struggle. It's a huge mental adjustment and it's a shame that I and others have to make it.

Also edited to say: and obviously it's nothing compared to the struggle just to get through life facing white supremacy that PoC go through. I'm not saying my internal struggle is more important, but I am saying that struggle has to occur before I can properly respect their struggle

[miir]

I'm here via amazonziti -- I hope you don't mind the intrusion -- and I found this comment very interesting. I am a person of color living outside the USA but I do interact with a lot of white people online, many of whom I consider my friends; I notice that my talking about racefail has made them start discussing these things more (and, well, made them uncomfortable, perhaps) and some of them may feel bad that they are undergoing some sort of internal struggle, but I think it's right that there is struggle. Because all these beliefs and modes of thinking we have acquired from the systems in which we live aren't going to go away if we don't make a deliberate effort to root them out. Re: the point of pain and who has the greater struggle -- I don't think there's an appropriate point for comparison; it's not so much a question of "who suffers more" (which I find horribly problematic and often derailing) but what the system is doing to individuals, who it is aligned against, and who benefits from the power differential. An experience of systemic

[vikki]

An experience of systemic oppression cannot be usefully compared to an experience outside that oppression.

I agree with all of this.

Trying to find the best language to describe the horrible feeling of guilt and frustration I had upon learning about white privilege and racism is difficult, because ultimately discussing it at all comes across as 'look at me and my pain!' The comparison then feels as though it must be drawn to emphasize that I am not saying my pain is 'important' in the general scheme of privilege (I am not hurt by it, I am helped). Nonetheless, the initial guilt (the veil being ripped from my eyes) being so staggering it becomes extremely tempting to run away from the problem via whitewashing, etc, and so I believe it must be faced head-on and dealt with so that the real problem - systemic white privilege and the disenfranchisement of PoC in particular - can then be addressed.

it's really, really, really easy to do it wrong and center the issue again on the people who have privilege and their fear of being called

[miir]

This reply is a little late, but I just wanted to say: thank you again, and I hope it goes well for you, learning and dealing with this.