stuff on my mind
this might be a really random entry, so bare w/ me, i had a rough night...
i'm quite tired of the way i look...but i'm also tired of hearing ppl want to change me...i'll fix up my look when i damn well please...idk...i guess i'm taking it hard, thinking maybe i'm overreacting...but i talked it over w/ some friends lastnight...& i'm not...it's stupid!...am i making sense??? basically, i was told i need to dress more goth & cut my hair rediculously short...i found myself asking "was he not paying attention when he married me???"...i can't help but also wonder how long he'll keep this up...& how long i can take it...i mean, goth is great, but i work & i got too fat for the goth stuff i already had...& the short hair, don't like it at all...
but in the conclusion of figuring (as my friend jeremiah would put it) i'm a grown ass man, i decided to tweak up my look...i'm going back to black w/ red streaks (hopefully this will work this time, i'm having someone else do it instead of myself)...considering going out & getting either my lip or my eyebrow pierced...tattoo, i'd love another one, but still waiting for the right one...not dressing too goth, but a bit more black than before (meaning get black jeans lol)...& i might cut my hair, but not as short as my husband would like...i know he'll hate this look, but once again...i'm a grown ass man...& i don't tell him how to look...this is what i want (& also what i want to do to slightly piss him off)
i talked to michelle bout this lastnight at walmart...throughout all this bickering i've created something in my head...something that for everytime things don't seem right w/ me & my husband, i have a solution for it in my mind...not a real one, because if it did happen, it wouldn't change anything...but just for those few seconds of bliss in my head, everything is going to be ok...it's been building onto itself for some time now, & i'm almost afraid i'll let it take over my head & try to make it a reality...but that's why i told michelle, so she can keep eye out on my mind...does this make sense at all???
well, i'm getting back to work...i'll post again, i had an idea for a song earlier but was not around a computer, so hopefully it'll come to me again
-Becky T.
i'm quite tired of the way i look...but i'm also tired of hearing ppl want to change me...i'll fix up my look when i damn well please...idk...i guess i'm taking it hard, thinking maybe i'm overreacting...but i talked it over w/ some friends lastnight...& i'm not...it's stupid!...am i making sense??? basically, i was told i need to dress more goth & cut my hair rediculously short...i found myself asking "was he not paying attention when he married me???"...i can't help but also wonder how long he'll keep this up...& how long i can take it...i mean, goth is great, but i work & i got too fat for the goth stuff i already had...& the short hair, don't like it at all...
but in the conclusion of figuring (as my friend jeremiah would put it) i'm a grown ass man, i decided to tweak up my look...i'm going back to black w/ red streaks (hopefully this will work this time, i'm having someone else do it instead of myself)...considering going out & getting either my lip or my eyebrow pierced...tattoo, i'd love another one, but still waiting for the right one...not dressing too goth, but a bit more black than before (meaning get black jeans lol)...& i might cut my hair, but not as short as my husband would like...i know he'll hate this look, but once again...i'm a grown ass man...& i don't tell him how to look...this is what i want (& also what i want to do to slightly piss him off)
i talked to michelle bout this lastnight at walmart...throughout all this bickering i've created something in my head...something that for everytime things don't seem right w/ me & my husband, i have a solution for it in my mind...not a real one, because if it did happen, it wouldn't change anything...but just for those few seconds of bliss in my head, everything is going to be ok...it's been building onto itself for some time now, & i'm almost afraid i'll let it take over my head & try to make it a reality...but that's why i told michelle, so she can keep eye out on my mind...does this make sense at all???
well, i'm getting back to work...i'll post again, i had an idea for a song earlier but was not around a computer, so hopefully it'll come to me again
-Becky T.