LJ Idol: Week 8: No Comment (Home Game)
President #45’s first official ‘press conference’, with hand picked reporters, still doesn’t go quite as he hoped. The first reporter went with their journalistic integrity, and actually asked a relevant question or at least attempted to before he shut them down, yelling “That is NOT an approved question! You are only supposed to ask questions from the preapproved list you were handed! You’re FIRED! NEXT!!!”
He points to another reporter, who stands, holds up a sheet of paper and says, “You mean these pabulum questions? We’ll be releasing them to the public so they know what you want to talk about, but…” tears the sheet in half and drops it to the ground. And the majority of the reporters in the room yell in unison “We want to know why you haven’t released your tax forms!”
45 gets red in the face. “Who cares! Old News! Noone wants that! You are all FIRED!!! One more chance!” Points to a man holding up his hand with a BREITBART sign in it. “Steve’s lackey, from Breitbart!”
“Mr. President, how do you feel about the rumours that there are neoNazi’s among your supporters?”
“Well now, even though that isn’t one of the officially worded questions, it is close enough. Remember in the future, when Breitbart is our OFFICIAL NEWS OUTLET! To ask the questions as they are written for you! Now obviously the Nazis are dead, we defeated them in that big war in the 40s! That my grandparents fought in! We killed them all dead! There are no more Nazis! Anyone who claims there are still Nazis around is a LYING LIAR! The Liberals want to make you think there are still Nazis around to keep you scared but they are all dead. Just like anyone who opposes us will end up being!” Pauses for a second. “After all, everyone dies sometime, right?” With a bit of a grin on his face.
Press Flack Spicer comes on stage, “NO MORE QUESTIONS! THIS INTERVIEW OVER! CLEAR THE ROOM!” As others among 45’s ‘loyal guard’ rush him back stage.
The official transcript is released the next day on Breitbart.com under header OFFICIAL NEWS OUTLET, without the last two sentences of 45’s rant. Lackey Conway says “Lord Trump never uttered those words that you think He did!”
Breitbart is DDOSed after instituting a NO COMMENTS policy on their ‘stories’, to be replaced by raw footage of the press conference, on a loop.
He points to another reporter, who stands, holds up a sheet of paper and says, “You mean these pabulum questions? We’ll be releasing them to the public so they know what you want to talk about, but…” tears the sheet in half and drops it to the ground. And the majority of the reporters in the room yell in unison “We want to know why you haven’t released your tax forms!”
45 gets red in the face. “Who cares! Old News! Noone wants that! You are all FIRED!!! One more chance!” Points to a man holding up his hand with a BREITBART sign in it. “Steve’s lackey, from Breitbart!”
“Mr. President, how do you feel about the rumours that there are neoNazi’s among your supporters?”
“Well now, even though that isn’t one of the officially worded questions, it is close enough. Remember in the future, when Breitbart is our OFFICIAL NEWS OUTLET! To ask the questions as they are written for you! Now obviously the Nazis are dead, we defeated them in that big war in the 40s! That my grandparents fought in! We killed them all dead! There are no more Nazis! Anyone who claims there are still Nazis around is a LYING LIAR! The Liberals want to make you think there are still Nazis around to keep you scared but they are all dead. Just like anyone who opposes us will end up being!” Pauses for a second. “After all, everyone dies sometime, right?” With a bit of a grin on his face.
Press Flack Spicer comes on stage, “NO MORE QUESTIONS! THIS INTERVIEW OVER! CLEAR THE ROOM!” As others among 45’s ‘loyal guard’ rush him back stage.
The official transcript is released the next day on Breitbart.com under header OFFICIAL NEWS OUTLET, without the last two sentences of 45’s rant. Lackey Conway says “Lord Trump never uttered those words that you think He did!”
Breitbart is DDOSed after instituting a NO COMMENTS policy on their ‘stories’, to be replaced by raw footage of the press conference, on a loop.