Time to break out the emo icon.
The last few days have not been so good. I went over to Jake's house about 1:30 yesterday despite the fact that I wanted to relax at home instead. I didn't feel like being there and couldn't think of anything to say or anything that I wanted to do and so I just tried to go to sleep. Jake got bored and started reading. I suddenly realized that there was no point in me being there with him at all. I started to cry and then I couldn't stop. It got louder and more violent and Jake got scared and upset because he couldn't comfort me and didn't know what was wrong and it was just awful. I ended up telling him that I didn't want to see him for a few days and we made plans for Thursday morning.
I went home, but still felt bad, so I tried to distract myself by reading "Strangers in Paradise", a trade paperback that Carly gave me for my birthday. I'm absolutely in love with it and almost finished already and I need more! However, must of the subject matter in the book isn't exactly happy and I remained depressed. I called Jake later that night and said that maybe not seeing him for a few days was a stupid idea. I was so scared that I was going to lose him and that I would be absolutely alone in Chillicothe. I'm still not seeing him until Thursday. It seems like now that Jake is apathetic about my presense. He doesn't care if I'm there or not.
I'm going to see Carly tomorrow afternoon. I think she'll be back and I'll get to see her again before I go to Germany, but I'm not sure. I miss her so much all the time and God I don't want her to go.
I went home, but still felt bad, so I tried to distract myself by reading "Strangers in Paradise", a trade paperback that Carly gave me for my birthday. I'm absolutely in love with it and almost finished already and I need more! However, must of the subject matter in the book isn't exactly happy and I remained depressed. I called Jake later that night and said that maybe not seeing him for a few days was a stupid idea. I was so scared that I was going to lose him and that I would be absolutely alone in Chillicothe. I'm still not seeing him until Thursday. It seems like now that Jake is apathetic about my presense. He doesn't care if I'm there or not.
I'm going to see Carly tomorrow afternoon. I think she'll be back and I'll get to see her again before I go to Germany, but I'm not sure. I miss her so much all the time and God I don't want her to go.