TWO FICS IN ONE NIGHT!? It must be the Apocalypse!
Now with a visual aid:
I swear I did not see this panel until after I had visualized the characters for this series. I'm a little embarrassed about how similar they are...
Title: An Honest Man
Rating: PG
Fandom: DC Comics
Characters/Pairings: Batwoman (Helena Wayne), Superwoman (Clara Kent)/Louis Lane
Word Count: 826
Disclaimer: I did not create these characters and I am making no money off of them.
Summary: Will Superwoman succeed in making an honest man out of Louis? Of course she will. Batwoman has a cunning plan.
Notes: This story takes place in my Earth-11 (gender-swapped) 'verse sometime after Ballroom Blitz!, Sodium Thiopental, and Children of Women, but each story can be read independently.
He had (mostly) quit smoking because she had asked him to. He had forgone that $300 pair of Italian leather loafers and donated the money to one of Helena Wayne's charities because he knew it would make her happy. He had dusted off the neglected bicycle in the corner of his apartment and taken a weekend off to go mountain biking through the state forest outside of Metropolis and cheered with everyone else when she left him to fly an injured hiker to the hospital. He had even bribed his little brother to take Jenny Olsen out on a date and, God help him, found it cute when they hit it off. Louis Lane had done everything he could think of to impress her and in the process had rediscovered the self he had buried under career, ambition, and big-city ennui. He was the happiest he could ever remember being and it was mostly because of Superwoman. Clara. The woman he loved.
Louis had been expecting the marriage proposal when Clara had asked him to dinner to discuss "something important" and was looking forward to it with a giddy anticipation, doing his best Gene Kelly impersonation throughout his apartment while getting ready. But the pregnancy had completely thrown him for a loop. After making hasty exit to "think about it," he had wandered the streets of Metropolis in a daze until he found himself back at home.
Louis unlocked the door to his apartment and flicked the light switch. Nothing happened. Clicka-clicka-click. Still nada. Louis just had time to begin to wonder if he owned a flashlight when the impenetrable darkness leaped out and grabbed him.
A black leather-clad hand cut off his not-so-manly scream and opaque white lenses narrowed to warn him to be quiet. He nodded and the hand was removed.
"B-b-batwoman!"
"Lane."
"What are you doing-"
"I'll be asking the questions, scumbag!" she growled. She hauled him out onto the balcony by the front of his Ralph Lauren Black Label shirt. Louis found himself bent backwards over the safety railing so far that his toes barely touched the ground while Batwoman's face was thrust uncomfortably close to his own.
"Now, do you love Superwoman?" said Batwoman.
"Wha? I..."
"I SAID DO YOU LOVE HER!"
"Yes! Yes I do! Oh God don't drop me."
"Batwoman." Superwoman had appeared, standing in the air like a goddess and looking royally pissed. "Put down my boyfriend. Now."
As soon a Batwoman dropped Louis back on the balcony, she was bodily lifted and flown to the roof of the apartment building.
"Helena, what the hell are you doing?"
"A favor. For you." Helena calmly straightened the front of her costume.
"A favor."
"Yes. Why do you think some couples get married while bungee jumping or that the people we rescue are often attracted to us? Danger increases the level of dopamine in the brain, mimicking the euphoria that comes with infatuation. By threatening the father of your child and setting him up for rescue by you, I've increased the chances of his agreeing to your proposal of marriage. Besides, he only lives on the third floor. You're welcome."
"I don't want him to marry me because of brain chemicals! I want him to marry me because he loves me!"
"Love is brain chemicals."
Superwoman's eyes flared red for a moment, then she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, Helena, I know this plan probably made sense in whatever realm of the autistic spectrum you operate in, but in the future, I would appreciate it if you didn't screw with my loved one's heads. How is Louis doing anyway?"
Both heroes peered over the edge of the building. Louis was lying where Batwoman had dropped him, staring into space.
"He's in shock," said Batwoman. "I need to administer first aid."
Superwoman threw out an arm to prevent her friend from jumping off the roof. "No, you've done enough for one night. Go away."
Superwoman landed gently beside her boyfriend on the balcony and knelt down to feel his forehead. "Louis? Honey, are you okay?"
Louis turned his head and his eyes focused and met hers. "We're really going to have a baby?"
Clara smiled. "Yeah, yeah we are."
"How?"
"I'm still working on that, but it's not important right now. Louis Lane, will you marry me?"
"Only if you promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"Don't invite Batwoman to the wedding."
Back up on the roof, Batwoman put the bat-sound amplifier back into her utility belt and smiled in satisfaction. "What did I tell you, Clara?" she asked, confident the Kryptonian would hear her. "By the way, I'm taking you shopping for a dress. There's no way I'm letting you be seen in whatever last season off-the-rack monstrosity you would inevitably pick out. Get your fiancee to impart some of his copious sartorial knowledge to you, please." With that, Gotham's Dark Dame disappeared into the night.
And with that, we come to the end of this series. I'm not saying I'll never revisit these characters, but I've told the story I wanted to tell and it's time to move on to other things.
There's still the gender-swapped Arrow Clan Christmas story, though. *sigh* Someday.
I swear I did not see this panel until after I had visualized the characters for this series. I'm a little embarrassed about how similar they are...
Title: An Honest Man
Rating: PG
Fandom: DC Comics
Characters/Pairings: Batwoman (Helena Wayne), Superwoman (Clara Kent)/Louis Lane
Word Count: 826
Disclaimer: I did not create these characters and I am making no money off of them.
Summary: Will Superwoman succeed in making an honest man out of Louis? Of course she will. Batwoman has a cunning plan.
Notes: This story takes place in my Earth-11 (gender-swapped) 'verse sometime after Ballroom Blitz!, Sodium Thiopental, and Children of Women, but each story can be read independently.
He had (mostly) quit smoking because she had asked him to. He had forgone that $300 pair of Italian leather loafers and donated the money to one of Helena Wayne's charities because he knew it would make her happy. He had dusted off the neglected bicycle in the corner of his apartment and taken a weekend off to go mountain biking through the state forest outside of Metropolis and cheered with everyone else when she left him to fly an injured hiker to the hospital. He had even bribed his little brother to take Jenny Olsen out on a date and, God help him, found it cute when they hit it off. Louis Lane had done everything he could think of to impress her and in the process had rediscovered the self he had buried under career, ambition, and big-city ennui. He was the happiest he could ever remember being and it was mostly because of Superwoman. Clara. The woman he loved.
Louis had been expecting the marriage proposal when Clara had asked him to dinner to discuss "something important" and was looking forward to it with a giddy anticipation, doing his best Gene Kelly impersonation throughout his apartment while getting ready. But the pregnancy had completely thrown him for a loop. After making hasty exit to "think about it," he had wandered the streets of Metropolis in a daze until he found himself back at home.
Louis unlocked the door to his apartment and flicked the light switch. Nothing happened. Clicka-clicka-click. Still nada. Louis just had time to begin to wonder if he owned a flashlight when the impenetrable darkness leaped out and grabbed him.
A black leather-clad hand cut off his not-so-manly scream and opaque white lenses narrowed to warn him to be quiet. He nodded and the hand was removed.
"B-b-batwoman!"
"Lane."
"What are you doing-"
"I'll be asking the questions, scumbag!" she growled. She hauled him out onto the balcony by the front of his Ralph Lauren Black Label shirt. Louis found himself bent backwards over the safety railing so far that his toes barely touched the ground while Batwoman's face was thrust uncomfortably close to his own.
"Now, do you love Superwoman?" said Batwoman.
"Wha? I..."
"I SAID DO YOU LOVE HER!"
"Yes! Yes I do! Oh God don't drop me."
"Batwoman." Superwoman had appeared, standing in the air like a goddess and looking royally pissed. "Put down my boyfriend. Now."
As soon a Batwoman dropped Louis back on the balcony, she was bodily lifted and flown to the roof of the apartment building.
"Helena, what the hell are you doing?"
"A favor. For you." Helena calmly straightened the front of her costume.
"A favor."
"Yes. Why do you think some couples get married while bungee jumping or that the people we rescue are often attracted to us? Danger increases the level of dopamine in the brain, mimicking the euphoria that comes with infatuation. By threatening the father of your child and setting him up for rescue by you, I've increased the chances of his agreeing to your proposal of marriage. Besides, he only lives on the third floor. You're welcome."
"I don't want him to marry me because of brain chemicals! I want him to marry me because he loves me!"
"Love is brain chemicals."
Superwoman's eyes flared red for a moment, then she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, Helena, I know this plan probably made sense in whatever realm of the autistic spectrum you operate in, but in the future, I would appreciate it if you didn't screw with my loved one's heads. How is Louis doing anyway?"
Both heroes peered over the edge of the building. Louis was lying where Batwoman had dropped him, staring into space.
"He's in shock," said Batwoman. "I need to administer first aid."
Superwoman threw out an arm to prevent her friend from jumping off the roof. "No, you've done enough for one night. Go away."
Superwoman landed gently beside her boyfriend on the balcony and knelt down to feel his forehead. "Louis? Honey, are you okay?"
Louis turned his head and his eyes focused and met hers. "We're really going to have a baby?"
Clara smiled. "Yeah, yeah we are."
"How?"
"I'm still working on that, but it's not important right now. Louis Lane, will you marry me?"
"Only if you promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"Don't invite Batwoman to the wedding."
Back up on the roof, Batwoman put the bat-sound amplifier back into her utility belt and smiled in satisfaction. "What did I tell you, Clara?" she asked, confident the Kryptonian would hear her. "By the way, I'm taking you shopping for a dress. There's no way I'm letting you be seen in whatever last season off-the-rack monstrosity you would inevitably pick out. Get your fiancee to impart some of his copious sartorial knowledge to you, please." With that, Gotham's Dark Dame disappeared into the night.
And with that, we come to the end of this series. I'm not saying I'll never revisit these characters, but I've told the story I wanted to tell and it's time to move on to other things.
There's still the gender-swapped Arrow Clan Christmas story, though. *sigh* Someday.