Oh, sugar. *hugs some more* Yeah, there are some people who aren't going to understand about the baby. They're going to be, "Well, it's not like it was YOUR baby." But it WAS! It SO was! You looked forward to this baby's birth as much as if you were carrying it in your own body, but it's hard for people who haven't faced your problem to understand. There are some people who would have the same attitude toward someone who miscarried. Even if the baby didn't have a chance to grow bigger than a kitten, or even a lima bean, it's YOUR baby. It's a real person to you.
And God, that situation... I'm sorry, but I didn't think anything that devious and tragic happened outside of made for tv movies. God, honey, you've had more laid on you in a short time than a half dozen people have in a lifetime. How DARE they? You know what it was, didn't you? It was KYA time. The hospital was afraid that someone who was already signed up for an adoption would take them to court for giving you the baby--someone who had enough money to rake them over the coals in court. Businesses like that (and hospitals ARE businesses--many people don't realize that) will trample anyone to protect their bottom line, and they count on the people they trample to not be able to afford to fight them. If you get a chance, you could find a pro bono lawyer and REAM the suckers. I won't advise you to try to get the baby--that would degenerate, and probably hurt everyone, including the child. But a fat civil suit settlement might make them think twice about screwing with hopeful parents for their own purposes.
I'm getting angry about this, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. *grrr* It's a rotten shame. You'd be such a wonderful mother. And it sounds like the only thing that the hospital considered was that someone else had signed up with an adoption agency they favored. It's like refusing to deal with people who do business with someone you don't like. "We won't deliver to you--you do business with X. Now, if you bought from Y, we could do business." Yes, it's just that tacky.
*grr* I'm not making much sense. I'm sorry dear. I feel like a heel now for not keeping in closer contact with you. I'm not good at making the first move, but whenever you want a shoulder to lean on, write me. Please.
And your mom sounds something like MY mom. I think that Mom realizes, in a nebulous sort of way, that I write smut, but she doesn't know the type or volume. I think she'd be upset by the het stuff, but the slash would blow her gasket. She doesn't have a problem with homosexuals as individuals, but she's got that ol' Testament take on homosexuality in general.
Re: *silent hug*vigdis_valeJune 18 2006, 16:27:43 UTC
Thank you... So *very* much. The hurt is so deep. The anger was more visible though. When I think about how they treated that poor girl...
And I agree with you. Trying to get the baby would be very wrong. I would not even dream of doing to that other couple what the hospital did to us. Can you imagine? You've been waiting for a child for who knows how long, the agency calls and says you have a baby girl. Then some total stranger tries to take her away??? I'd never want to put anyone through that pain.
Hubby was so angry he went for a long walk (several miles) to cool off. Later, he told me that he was so angry that if he were a Jedi, I'd be married to a Sith now... He really wanted to take that hospital apart and make them pay for the pain they caused us. He was focused on me, but he was hurting just as much. We saw a picture of her. She had his coloring...
It's been suggested to us to see about signing up with the Lutheran Adoption Network. Apparently they don't require prospective parents to actually *be* Lutheran... I think that once we feel a bit more steady, we will talk with them. Right now, I still feel so raw. I probably wouldn't make a very good impression.
And God, that situation... I'm sorry, but I didn't think anything that devious and tragic happened outside of made for tv movies. God, honey, you've had more laid on you in a short time than a half dozen people have in a lifetime. How DARE they? You know what it was, didn't you? It was KYA time. The hospital was afraid that someone who was already signed up for an adoption would take them to court for giving you the baby--someone who had enough money to rake them over the coals in court. Businesses like that (and hospitals ARE businesses--many people don't realize that) will trample anyone to protect their bottom line, and they count on the people they trample to not be able to afford to fight them. If you get a chance, you could find a pro bono lawyer and REAM the suckers. I won't advise you to try to get the baby--that would degenerate, and probably hurt everyone, including the child. But a fat civil suit settlement might make them think twice about screwing with hopeful parents for their own purposes.
I'm getting angry about this, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. *grrr* It's a rotten shame. You'd be such a wonderful mother. And it sounds like the only thing that the hospital considered was that someone else had signed up with an adoption agency they favored. It's like refusing to deal with people who do business with someone you don't like. "We won't deliver to you--you do business with X. Now, if you bought from Y, we could do business." Yes, it's just that tacky.
*grr* I'm not making much sense. I'm sorry dear. I feel like a heel now for not keeping in closer contact with you. I'm not good at making the first move, but whenever you want a shoulder to lean on, write me. Please.
And your mom sounds something like MY mom. I think that Mom realizes, in a nebulous sort of way, that I write smut, but she doesn't know the type or volume. I think she'd be upset by the het stuff, but the slash would blow her gasket. She doesn't have a problem with homosexuals as individuals, but she's got that ol' Testament take on homosexuality in general.
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And I agree with you. Trying to get the baby would be very wrong. I would not even dream of doing to that other couple what the hospital did to us. Can you imagine? You've been waiting for a child for who knows how long, the agency calls and says you have a baby girl. Then some total stranger tries to take her away??? I'd never want to put anyone through that pain.
Hubby was so angry he went for a long walk (several miles) to cool off. Later, he told me that he was so angry that if he were a Jedi, I'd be married to a Sith now... He really wanted to take that hospital apart and make them pay for the pain they caused us. He was focused on me, but he was hurting just as much. We saw a picture of her. She had his coloring...
It's been suggested to us to see about signing up with the Lutheran Adoption Network. Apparently they don't require prospective parents to actually *be* Lutheran... I think that once we feel a bit more steady, we will talk with them. Right now, I still feel so raw. I probably wouldn't make a very good impression.
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