(no subject)
So i've officially discovered my tendency to run away and hide from problems. I don't suppose this will get me very far in life, but at the moment I just want to curl into a ball,slide under my desk and turn back into a carefree little girl again. No more college, no more midterms, just Disneyland and playing dress-up. I want my dad to take me to the aquarium, I want my Nana and Howie to take me to the park and spoil me rotten. I want my grandfathers alive again to encourage my being a ballerina one day. I want Howie to make up his jokes and tell stories of living in nyc with my Nana. To hear Papa tell the story of how he split his pants ice skating and showing off for Mama when they first dated. Or how he fell in love with her the second she walked across the front of the car in the headlights. I don't want to say goodbye. I don't want restrictions, to worry what others think, to have huge responsibilities riding on my back anymore. I want to be free, travel the world, run wild, enjoy life instead of being a slave to my thoughts and "to do" lists. I'm selfish and cowardly...end of statement.