Fun with MySpace spam.
Spam. It's unavoidable in our email, junk advertisements for shit you don't need on webpages.....blocking you from what you actually went to the site to use in the first place (think of those flash ads that take over the entire screen if you accidently hover over them for a second). And MySpace is now at the heart of it all, or should I say that all of this is at the heart of MySpace?
I just got a friend request and a message from two different "people" a moment ago. First is Candice.
As you can see, Candice is a very attractive girl who likes to take mildly naughty photos to use as her profile picture to get people to look at her profile. Scratch that--just the one photo. Candice sent me a nice little heartfelt message that reads as follows.
hey your profile is awesome!
if you want to chat ill be online right now just hit me on my Yahoo name --> sexxycandybabe
we can chat for a while if you want don't forget I'll be on the Yahoo name --> sexxycandybabe
If I'm offline for any reason ADD ME to your contact list to message me later (Ill be waiting 4 u babe)!
Isn't that nice? She's so nice. My profile is awesome! WOW!! I had no idea. And to take all that time to write me that nice little message so that she can talk to me later? I mean girls like that *never* talked to me in high school and she's calling me BABE! I feel so special now. What a shame that her very nicely designed profile only has everyone's ubiquitous friend, Tom. You would think that such a "genuinely" nice person such as her would have tons of friends. Too bad, I'm sure someone will fall for it at some point. Not that it's so hard to get someone's yahoo email address that you have to trick them into giving it to you via yahoo messenger. I've got plenty of spam there and I don't fall for shit like this.
Her profile tells a great deal about her personality. I mean, it doesn't sound the least bit generic or bubble headed..........link.
Next is a "person" who wants to be my new friend.
She's asian and also very attractive. What a coincidence that not one but TWO very attractive females contact me on the same day? I must be one sexy beast or something. She's 20 years old, lives in Irvine California, and her name is "Holla Back for Free Ring Tones." In todays modern society, I think it's about time that we move away from conventional sounding names like Bob, Mike, Susie, & Jessica and on to names that more reflect our superior modern lifestyle. I commend her parents courage to push things forward and name her Holla Back for Free Ring Tones in spite of the cultural pressure that must have been against it. Bravo. It has inspired me. I think that I will name my first born, Starbucks or maybe Walmart. For that matter, Enron sounds like a nice name for a girl. She works for a company that gives away free ringtones....oh, I'm sorry--FREE ringtones. What a coincidence that a girl whose name is Holla Back for Free Ring Tones would actually end up working for a company that sells gives away free ringtones! It simply HAS to be a sign from God. I'll let her share some of her story with you.
I work for a company that gives away FREE ring tones. I didn't know if it was fer real, so I tried it. I clicked on all these links, put in my phone number, and now I have a TON of ring tones on my cell phone.
(links omitted)
The company asked me to work for them and I said yes! I can hook u up if you need a job, just holla back.
Look at that! She'll even help me get a job. That....is just too nice. I might even consider it if I didn't just absolutely LOVE my job with Massive Globally Dominate Retailer Inc. I just wouldn't feel right if I left my work family, I have over 1.7 million family members there after all. Which reminds me--I should start writing my christmas cards now. I do appreciate Holla Back for Free Ring Tones's offer though. It is a nice gesture of her. That must be why she has 138 friends, because she's just so nice. I bet they are all fine, intelligent people with lots of other friends that give away FREE ringtones and natural male enhancement drugs............
MySpace is already charged with being a virtual mecca for trolling internet perverts, because...well...it works quite well for that--not that I have a ton of attractive females who all share a certain affinity for taking provocative photos of themselves and displaying them on their profiles in my list of favorites or anything.........
What I was trying to say is lets make MySpace really interesting. This whole "friends" thing is nice and all but it's only half the story. I mean not everyone is pals with everyone else. Let's take it a step further and add "Enemies." That's right, Enemies. Now you can make it damn clear when you just flat out hate someone's guts. Why try to hide it? let it out. Then the real popularity contest starts. The one to become the most loathed and reviled person on MySpace. Tucker Max and Maddox would be envious.
Instead of spammers like the ones I cited above just soliciting for friends and no one taking the bait, you could enemy them instead of friending and turn the tables against them, publicly. Forget that little "report as spam" system for the matter to be quietly dealt with behind the scenes. Give me an enemy link so that we can bring forth a virtual flogging. Haven't you ever wished you could somehow make the people flooding your inbox with unwanted and barely decipherable messages pay for your inconvenience? Well this would be a step in the right direction! Leave your thoughts and comments.
I just got a friend request and a message from two different "people" a moment ago. First is Candice.
As you can see, Candice is a very attractive girl who likes to take mildly naughty photos to use as her profile picture to get people to look at her profile. Scratch that--just the one photo. Candice sent me a nice little heartfelt message that reads as follows.
hey your profile is awesome!
if you want to chat ill be online right now just hit me on my Yahoo name --> sexxycandybabe
we can chat for a while if you want don't forget I'll be on the Yahoo name --> sexxycandybabe
If I'm offline for any reason ADD ME to your contact list to message me later (Ill be waiting 4 u babe)!
Isn't that nice? She's so nice. My profile is awesome! WOW!! I had no idea. And to take all that time to write me that nice little message so that she can talk to me later? I mean girls like that *never* talked to me in high school and she's calling me BABE! I feel so special now. What a shame that her very nicely designed profile only has everyone's ubiquitous friend, Tom. You would think that such a "genuinely" nice person such as her would have tons of friends. Too bad, I'm sure someone will fall for it at some point. Not that it's so hard to get someone's yahoo email address that you have to trick them into giving it to you via yahoo messenger. I've got plenty of spam there and I don't fall for shit like this.
Her profile tells a great deal about her personality. I mean, it doesn't sound the least bit generic or bubble headed..........link.
Next is a "person" who wants to be my new friend.
She's asian and also very attractive. What a coincidence that not one but TWO very attractive females contact me on the same day? I must be one sexy beast or something. She's 20 years old, lives in Irvine California, and her name is "Holla Back for Free Ring Tones." In todays modern society, I think it's about time that we move away from conventional sounding names like Bob, Mike, Susie, & Jessica and on to names that more reflect our superior modern lifestyle. I commend her parents courage to push things forward and name her Holla Back for Free Ring Tones in spite of the cultural pressure that must have been against it. Bravo. It has inspired me. I think that I will name my first born, Starbucks or maybe Walmart. For that matter, Enron sounds like a nice name for a girl. She works for a company that gives away free ringtones....oh, I'm sorry--FREE ringtones. What a coincidence that a girl whose name is Holla Back for Free Ring Tones would actually end up working for a company that sells gives away free ringtones! It simply HAS to be a sign from God. I'll let her share some of her story with you.
I work for a company that gives away FREE ring tones. I didn't know if it was fer real, so I tried it. I clicked on all these links, put in my phone number, and now I have a TON of ring tones on my cell phone.
(links omitted)
The company asked me to work for them and I said yes! I can hook u up if you need a job, just holla back.
Look at that! She'll even help me get a job. That....is just too nice. I might even consider it if I didn't just absolutely LOVE my job with Massive Globally Dominate Retailer Inc. I just wouldn't feel right if I left my work family, I have over 1.7 million family members there after all. Which reminds me--I should start writing my christmas cards now. I do appreciate Holla Back for Free Ring Tones's offer though. It is a nice gesture of her. That must be why she has 138 friends, because she's just so nice. I bet they are all fine, intelligent people with lots of other friends that give away FREE ringtones and natural male enhancement drugs............
MySpace is already charged with being a virtual mecca for trolling internet perverts, because...well...it works quite well for that--not that I have a ton of attractive females who all share a certain affinity for taking provocative photos of themselves and displaying them on their profiles in my list of favorites or anything.........
What I was trying to say is lets make MySpace really interesting. This whole "friends" thing is nice and all but it's only half the story. I mean not everyone is pals with everyone else. Let's take it a step further and add "Enemies." That's right, Enemies. Now you can make it damn clear when you just flat out hate someone's guts. Why try to hide it? let it out. Then the real popularity contest starts. The one to become the most loathed and reviled person on MySpace. Tucker Max and Maddox would be envious.
Instead of spammers like the ones I cited above just soliciting for friends and no one taking the bait, you could enemy them instead of friending and turn the tables against them, publicly. Forget that little "report as spam" system for the matter to be quietly dealt with behind the scenes. Give me an enemy link so that we can bring forth a virtual flogging. Haven't you ever wished you could somehow make the people flooding your inbox with unwanted and barely decipherable messages pay for your inconvenience? Well this would be a step in the right direction! Leave your thoughts and comments.