lost
No not the TV show, sorry, just the way I'm feeling.
Friday night on my way home from the Cubs game I called my parents to let them know I would see them on Saturday when my Dad told me he was at the Emergency Room with my Mom. She had called me earlier to let me know her head was bothering her and that she had been dizzy. Not uncommon with the Lupus, she said she would stay in bed and call me if she didn't feel any better. She didn't call me.
Last April my mom had a small stroke, the MRI revealed an anurism (sp) as well, add this to the seizures from the Lupus and it's just a well rounded case of trouble. I spent 7:30 til 3am @ Rush Presbytarian with my mom when they released her with a diagnoses of Perephrial Vertigo to add to everything else.
My Dad was diagnosed with Hepititus C, did I tell you that? When I got to the hospital I sent him home so he could get his medicine and his Chemo. I hate Chemo, I hate that he's sick. My dad is the kind of person who could have been hit by a car and shot in the side, lying in the middle of the street and still not admit that he needs help if it means interrupting someone else's life. I think he's figured he's done enough interrupting.
It's scary and it's hard. I went from the hospital to my parents house to work, back to my parents house and back to work. That was my weekend. That will be my weekends whenever they need me. Which is more and more. They kept thanking me. I don't understand it. My mom told me that she was worried that I wouldn't be there for them as they grew older. That she can see now that I really do care. And that's really bothering me. They had that little faith in me. I had to prove it rather than them just knowing it. It hurts.
I'm 23. Isn't that too young for your parents to need you this much? I will take care of them and I WILL be there for them, but I just feel so small sometimes. Next year (and for the next 4 years) with Denise and Mary in Philly and Mark in Monmouth... I don't know. It makes me feel stuck, I can't move very far, and it makes me feel very alone. And well... lost
on top of all this one of my exes came out. talk about being thrown for a loop.
Friday night on my way home from the Cubs game I called my parents to let them know I would see them on Saturday when my Dad told me he was at the Emergency Room with my Mom. She had called me earlier to let me know her head was bothering her and that she had been dizzy. Not uncommon with the Lupus, she said she would stay in bed and call me if she didn't feel any better. She didn't call me.
Last April my mom had a small stroke, the MRI revealed an anurism (sp) as well, add this to the seizures from the Lupus and it's just a well rounded case of trouble. I spent 7:30 til 3am @ Rush Presbytarian with my mom when they released her with a diagnoses of Perephrial Vertigo to add to everything else.
My Dad was diagnosed with Hepititus C, did I tell you that? When I got to the hospital I sent him home so he could get his medicine and his Chemo. I hate Chemo, I hate that he's sick. My dad is the kind of person who could have been hit by a car and shot in the side, lying in the middle of the street and still not admit that he needs help if it means interrupting someone else's life. I think he's figured he's done enough interrupting.
It's scary and it's hard. I went from the hospital to my parents house to work, back to my parents house and back to work. That was my weekend. That will be my weekends whenever they need me. Which is more and more. They kept thanking me. I don't understand it. My mom told me that she was worried that I wouldn't be there for them as they grew older. That she can see now that I really do care. And that's really bothering me. They had that little faith in me. I had to prove it rather than them just knowing it. It hurts.
I'm 23. Isn't that too young for your parents to need you this much? I will take care of them and I WILL be there for them, but I just feel so small sometimes. Next year (and for the next 4 years) with Denise and Mary in Philly and Mark in Monmouth... I don't know. It makes me feel stuck, I can't move very far, and it makes me feel very alone. And well... lost
on top of all this one of my exes came out. talk about being thrown for a loop.