Untitled...
First off I wanna say thank you to everyone who came out for my Birthday party. I have not had a chance to send out a thank you yet!!! I had a blast and when 7:30 am came and I had to kick everyone left over out it would seem that much fun was had, so thank you to everyone.
For the people that have been asking me info on medical studies www.studies4u.com is one clinic. They are the one I went to and are very good. There are other ones too. Biovail, pharma-medica. There are usually a whole bunch in the back of Now Magazine.
So, I went into the medical study last thursday night and I woke up there Friday morning, ready to start my 10 day ordeal. They always start out and do vitals before they dose you. A "NORMAL" RESTING heart rate is about 80. mine was 117. I guess my anxiety was flaring up. Anyways I had to not be in the study so I have been out in the real world again.
It's kinda good because I WAS having a hard time there. It's REALLY hard being cooped up for 10 days in that environment. I had serious food issues and there was gonna be 12 blood draws a day. OUCH. That's A LOT!!!! I missed MY TIMOTHY SOOOOOO MUCH. He says he'd rather have me home than the money. (yeah he's the best, I guess that's why I am gonna marry him
So I was kinda beating my self up over the loss of the money. It's pro-rated so I still get 550$ for the qualifying round and the one night, but I was really upset about it. The only way I could justify it to myself is by making there be a GREATER reason why I am not in the the study and not getting the money, cause the money would have been really helpful.
So here is the GREATER reason I believe to be the reason I am not in the study: (here comes my flakey hippie crap LOL)
The other day Tim and I went to his cousin's wedding. It was OUTSIDE of this beautiful run-down church and was really beautiful. I went into this abandoned church, and decided that this would be an excellent place to put intent into the universe. It is a HIGHLY energetic place and I wanted to put out intent. Later that night at the reception I met Timothy's awesome aunt that he has wanted me to meet for a long time. (he thought I would love her and he is right and I do). She is a great energy. We were talking and I told her about me putting intent out in the universe. I told her I had been doing this for a long time but it's not working as quickly or to the magnitude I would like. She explained to me the single thing that I had missed my whole life. LETTING GO!!!!!! When you put out an intention, letting it go. Not having expectations or pre-conceived ideas of the answers that you expect to come up. When you do that you are closing the options to ideas you may not have expected.
So that's what I did. I let go of my expectations. I posed a question and let go.
A couple of days later at my B-day party my friend christopher says to me "hey Caroline, are you still interesting in assisting for photography" I said "Yes, totally" He said that he would give the ad agency that he works for my name and number.
Today I was really upset about my job, asking myself what I was gonna do and RIGHT then while I was crying I got a call to assist tomorrow. SO 5:30 am I am going on location.
Photography was something I kinda put on the back burner, and then it re-emerges. I am really excited for this. I am tired with complacency. It's time for big dreams to actualize.
For the people that have been asking me info on medical studies www.studies4u.com is one clinic. They are the one I went to and are very good. There are other ones too. Biovail, pharma-medica. There are usually a whole bunch in the back of Now Magazine.
So, I went into the medical study last thursday night and I woke up there Friday morning, ready to start my 10 day ordeal. They always start out and do vitals before they dose you. A "NORMAL" RESTING heart rate is about 80. mine was 117. I guess my anxiety was flaring up. Anyways I had to not be in the study so I have been out in the real world again.
It's kinda good because I WAS having a hard time there. It's REALLY hard being cooped up for 10 days in that environment. I had serious food issues and there was gonna be 12 blood draws a day. OUCH. That's A LOT!!!! I missed MY TIMOTHY SOOOOOO MUCH. He says he'd rather have me home than the money. (yeah he's the best, I guess that's why I am gonna marry him
So I was kinda beating my self up over the loss of the money. It's pro-rated so I still get 550$ for the qualifying round and the one night, but I was really upset about it. The only way I could justify it to myself is by making there be a GREATER reason why I am not in the the study and not getting the money, cause the money would have been really helpful.
So here is the GREATER reason I believe to be the reason I am not in the study: (here comes my flakey hippie crap LOL)
The other day Tim and I went to his cousin's wedding. It was OUTSIDE of this beautiful run-down church and was really beautiful. I went into this abandoned church, and decided that this would be an excellent place to put intent into the universe. It is a HIGHLY energetic place and I wanted to put out intent. Later that night at the reception I met Timothy's awesome aunt that he has wanted me to meet for a long time. (he thought I would love her and he is right and I do). She is a great energy. We were talking and I told her about me putting intent out in the universe. I told her I had been doing this for a long time but it's not working as quickly or to the magnitude I would like. She explained to me the single thing that I had missed my whole life. LETTING GO!!!!!! When you put out an intention, letting it go. Not having expectations or pre-conceived ideas of the answers that you expect to come up. When you do that you are closing the options to ideas you may not have expected.
So that's what I did. I let go of my expectations. I posed a question and let go.
A couple of days later at my B-day party my friend christopher says to me "hey Caroline, are you still interesting in assisting for photography" I said "Yes, totally" He said that he would give the ad agency that he works for my name and number.
Today I was really upset about my job, asking myself what I was gonna do and RIGHT then while I was crying I got a call to assist tomorrow. SO 5:30 am I am going on location.
Photography was something I kinda put on the back burner, and then it re-emerges. I am really excited for this. I am tired with complacency. It's time for big dreams to actualize.