Lately I've been Melancholy....
So, lately I've not really been feeling like myself. Immersing myself in fantasy world seems to be one of just a few ways I can get through the day. My co-worker is one of the other things that helps. She listens when I bitch, tells me she loves me every day and knows how to make me laugh when I'm sad. Without her I'd be in a much darker place.
Job searching SUCKS. I can't do what I really want to do. That would require a move that Mr. Doc wouldn't make and would probably divorce me over. Sometimes he just makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY. I want to cut my hair(it's been growing unchecked for almost our entire three year marriage)but he says that I won't be as pretty if I cut my hair. Also to him, all women with short hair look like lesbians. Which is retarded but that's Mr. Doc for you.
If I had my way I'd move to Vancouver, get a job and attempt to break into the acting business through the SHIT load of shows that film there. But that's not something he'd ever support. He HATES that I was ever into theater(been acting since I was 7)and whenever I want to help out at the local community theater(where we freaking got MARRIED)he FREAKS. I HATE it so much cause acting is one of the few things that can really make me happy. I feel like I've been depressed since we got married...well since before that really but it only seems to be getting worse and I really hate it.
So BOO on life. Fantasy is so much nicer.
Job searching SUCKS. I can't do what I really want to do. That would require a move that Mr. Doc wouldn't make and would probably divorce me over. Sometimes he just makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY. I want to cut my hair(it's been growing unchecked for almost our entire three year marriage)but he says that I won't be as pretty if I cut my hair. Also to him, all women with short hair look like lesbians. Which is retarded but that's Mr. Doc for you.
If I had my way I'd move to Vancouver, get a job and attempt to break into the acting business through the SHIT load of shows that film there. But that's not something he'd ever support. He HATES that I was ever into theater(been acting since I was 7)and whenever I want to help out at the local community theater(where we freaking got MARRIED)he FREAKS. I HATE it so much cause acting is one of the few things that can really make me happy. I feel like I've been depressed since we got married...well since before that really but it only seems to be getting worse and I really hate it.
So BOO on life. Fantasy is so much nicer.