(no subject)
I feel like a bad person today. I became upset at Lance for silly reasons last night. I can't seem to get completely comfortable with myself, thus hindering my relationships. All of my relationships..... I'm shy and sometimes embarrassed to be who I am (a homosexual). I HATE feeling like I can't let loose. How long will it take before I just don't give a shit about people who don't concern me.
I feel like I have so much going on all the time. I used to feel like I wasn't doing enough and I should be doing more. Now I feel like I have too much to do and I should be doing more. WTF is that about? I don't feel like I manage my time well. I feel like I sleep too much. I feel like I don't work out enough. I feel like this business with my mom needs more of my attention and dedication. I feel like I work at the hospital too much.... even though it barely pays my bills. I feel like I don't have enough free time to see my friends and family. I feel like I don't have enough free time to be alone. I feel like I don't have enough free time to go out and have fun. I feel like I don't put enough effort into my relationship with Lance. I feel like I should be working right now, but here I am updating my LJ (something I hardly ever do). Why should I feel guilty about updating my LJ when I hardly ever do it? I feel like I need to be more proactive in my Aikido training and participation in our club (The Renbukan).
My head is fill with a million things to do, and I'm busy all day every day, but I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything. I just don't understand....
I feel like I have so much going on all the time. I used to feel like I wasn't doing enough and I should be doing more. Now I feel like I have too much to do and I should be doing more. WTF is that about? I don't feel like I manage my time well. I feel like I sleep too much. I feel like I don't work out enough. I feel like this business with my mom needs more of my attention and dedication. I feel like I work at the hospital too much.... even though it barely pays my bills. I feel like I don't have enough free time to see my friends and family. I feel like I don't have enough free time to be alone. I feel like I don't have enough free time to go out and have fun. I feel like I don't put enough effort into my relationship with Lance. I feel like I should be working right now, but here I am updating my LJ (something I hardly ever do). Why should I feel guilty about updating my LJ when I hardly ever do it? I feel like I need to be more proactive in my Aikido training and participation in our club (The Renbukan).
My head is fill with a million things to do, and I'm busy all day every day, but I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything. I just don't understand....