"Burning Bridges" by sisabet, commentary by here's luck and renenet
Title: Burning Bridges
Vidder: sisabet
Fandom: Friday Night Lights
Link to vid: on LiveJournal / on AO3
Summary: This is the story of...
Commentary by: heresluck and renenet
Themes: this is a vid about...
renenet: This is a vid about growing up and moving on and forgiving and accepting forgiveness. It’s about loving people even when it hurts: loving them even when they hurt and disappoint you, and hurting and disappointing them even though you love them. You know, basically, the messy stuff of LIFE with other people in it.
here’s luck: Yes. That. All of that.
Ensemble
here’s luck: When I asked sisabet to make me this vid, I gave her some notes and ideas I’d had, but really all I wanted was a Friday Night Lights ensemble vid to this song; within those parameters, anything would have been fine with me. What I love about how sisabet chose to interpret “ensemble” is that by focusing on just five of the teenaged characters plus three parents, she’s able to convey more of the complex interrelationships among these characters than she otherwise could: Tim’s in love with Jason and they’re both involved with Lyla and Lyla’s dad slept with Tyra’s mom and Tyra is involved with Landry who is supporting her through her college applications...
renenet: Right. She builds the ensemble vid out of individual stories/characters/relationships/situations layered together and thematically linked into a bigger picture.
here’s luck: That kind of complexity is something I love about ensemble shows, and vids, because they’re so short, very seldom manage to capture it; more often, they convey the ensemble feel of the show and handwave the details. This vid is all about the details.
Visuals
renenet: Check out the shaky, mobile, hand-held camera footage and the immediacy and intimacy that lends the experience of watching the vid. Combine that with the confessional, emotionally charged, first-person narrative of this song and it’s like I’m living this vid in the shoes of each of these protagonist characters.
here’s luck: I mean, obviously the camerawork is the show’s, but the way sisabet uses it is just really smart.
Commentary
0:00-0:20
[instrumental intro]
renenet: These opening shots of the town at dusk fading to night establish both setting and mood; they signal that 1) we’re dealing with a broad focus on life in this town, and 2) given the moody minor-key guitar strumming, what we’re going to see of that life is some difficult and/or contemplative bits.
here’s luck: I suspect the intro may also be a shout-out to my own Friday Night Lights ensemble vid, which... opens with shots of the town on the instrumental intro and then introduces the characters when the first verse begins. Clearly sisabet does know how to make a here’s luck vid for here’s luck. Predictably, I love it.
renenet: But it’s not just establishing shots of this physical place; our focus is on places that represent the communal experience of this town: we drive by the Applebee’s and catch what must be a familiar scene, of a guy changing the sign to spell out a message of support for the Panthers (the local high school football team) and of the lit-up ferris wheel at the carnival. Then the headlights of oncoming traffic seem to blur as if our eyes are filled with tears, but it’s really spots of rain on the windshield as the camera turns to track the path of cars headed the opposite direction in the final night driving shot before we transition out of the intro. (Oh holy crap! Damn, that is the mood and the experience of this vid right there on the “for here’s luck” clip.)
Ahem, so, anyway, I think this intro section of the vid pretty effectively suggests that the vid’s focus is on this small town community and that the individual characters’ lives and relationships we’re going to see in the vid make up that community. Really, it’s just like how individual houses and the network of roads and streets between them make up a town.
0:20-1:00
This is a story of burning bridges and allowing time to pass
This is a story of forgiveness and breaking things in my hands
This is a story of understanding you can’t choose who you love
And this is a story of soft skin and rats in the walls
here’s luck: I love how sisabet uses the song here: each “this is a story of...” line introduces one pair of characters. Tyra and her mother, Landry and his father, Tim and Jason, Lyla and her father Buddy. And while I think any of these four lines could work for any of the pairs, the way that they’re arranged throws into relief particular elements of the characters and relationships: Tyra’s attempts to escape her life, Landry’s need for forgiveness, Tim’s love for Jason, Lyla’s faith--I love that the line that’s most about sex is a) paired with a girl whose locker we later see defaced with “whore” and b) reconfigured as baptism--and her father. (Buddy Garrity is a rat in the wall, folks.)
renenet: sisabet informs me that someone is always touching someone else whenever the line “this is a story of” plays.
here’s luck: Really? [rewatches] Okay, that is awesome.
renenet: Also, she totally cops to the hands as an explicit part of her trying to vid like you.
here’s luck: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
1:00-1:32
and you can't just pass along the pain that comes around
you'll go dizzy until you fall
and I know you didn't mean to let me down
but you let me down so hard
renenet: It’s a significant challenge to build a successful ensemble vid.
here’s luck: Ahahahaha. Yes.
renenet: sisabet has established place and hinted at her focus during the introduction, and then established each of her main teen protagonists and their particular situations/challenges in the first verse. Now in the first chorus she can start to explore plot and conflicts and complicate things up a bit--but she does so strategically.
Given the large number of characters in the vid, I find it very smart that the first few plot/conflict elements that the vid deals with are thematically linked around the idea of a love triangle. From Tim gingerly touching Jason’s shoulders in Jason’s physical therapy and Tim’s subsequent unwillingness to watch a similar type of intimacy between Jason and Lyla as she leans back against Jason, the vid moves right into Landry “go[ing] dizzy” as he races to attack the guy who is assaulting Tyra and strikes him down. Then Tyra’s mom is rushing up to Buddy after church to slap him a good one (in classic woman-scorned mode) and we are living Lyla’s reaction of anger and disappointment at her father for cheating on her mother.
Clip: Buddy lets Lyla down so hard (password: let me down)
Also, up until this point, sisabet has mostly been transitioning between storylines just before or right on the downbeat of a new measure, but here she lingers on Lyla collapsed against the door she has just slammed in Buddy's face as the lyric holds on the last word of "let me down so haaaaaard."
here’s luck: Yes! And she really emphasizes it by having Lyla slump against the door on that downbeat.
renenet: That was some emotionally explosive chorus, man! I feel for these characters so much! By this point the vid has drawn us fully into these characters’ lives and relationships; we’re invested in every detail, and we’ve got enough familiarity, we’re grounded enough in their lives that the vid can layer up the details about their stories interchangeably and the emotional throughline sustains. It’s all building so intensely with the music that at real speed the stuff that pops out at me becomes almost impressionistic--the vid shifting to another storyline even as I process the previous one.
1:32-1:42
this is a story of loaded glances and leaning in too far
renenet: OK, yeah, Tim hooking up with Lyla really is all about his messed up feelings of guilt and love for Jason.
here’s luck: Oh, totally. Somewhere in heaven, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick is smiling. But I think it works the other way too: Lyla hooks up with Tim as a way to feel closer to Jason.
1:42-1:51
this is a story of vague advances and confessions in smoky bars
renenet: Aww, Landry has unreciprocated feelings for Tyra.
1:51-2:03
so now I am walking down the sidewalk and I am singing to myself
renenet: Great juxtaposition of Lyla and Tim kissing (note the wet hair from preceding emotionally fraught, fucked-up-Tim-in-the-rain sequence) with Tim staring at the photo of himself and Jason that he keeps in his locker:
2:04-2:13
and I'm going to leave it all behind me now
cause I don't need this
I just don't need this
renenet: Tyra defending her mom against Mom’s boyfriend is about more than just how close she is to her mother. No, set to that lyric, it’s about Tyra wanting more for her own life than drifting from bad relationship to bad relationship with men like her mother has done. The scene of fierce Tyra with the fireplace poker comes after a 30-second chunk of vid that has focused pretty exclusively on romantic entanglements (Jason-Lyla-Tim and Landry’s feelings for Tyra), with all of the concomitant emotional intensity and baggage--the type of feeling that leads to some dude slapping your mother in your kitchen.
here’s luck: I think these lines also set up really beautifully the Tyra/college storyline that’s coming up: Tyra doesn’t want to turn into her mother; she wants a different life for herself. College is the symbol of that desire, but this scene--and the one of her mother crashing drunkenly through the coffee table--is the reason for the desire. That’s there in the show, obviously, but sisabet distills it down to its essence.
2:13-2:36
and you can't just pass along the pain that comes around
you'll go dizzy until you fall
and I know you didn't mean to let me down
but you let me down so hard
renenet: And now we’ve reached the second chorus, and the vidder is not afraid to change the pattern of layering different storylines in almost every clip to hone in on one relationship to amp up the tension. This chorus is wholly focused on Tim and Jason, and it builds to a climax in the gym scene:
Clip: Jason and Tim in the gym (password: gym)
2:36-3:01
and these memories are talking and talking
and I'll do anything to shut 'em up
I've got the pillow over my head
but they won't stop
no, they won’t stop
renenet: And now everything is more intense in all the storylines...it’s almost like Jason confronting Tim about Lyla has unlocked the floodgates in the vid and Sheriff Dad has to bodily remove Landry from the statement room before he can confess to manslaughter. Tyra and Landry embrace, clearly feeling the aftermath of that violent night. And we finally see the immediate aftermath of the gym scene, with Tim walking away, regretful and clutching his bruised jaw and Jason’s spent anger quickly turning to /o\ for everything he’s got to deal with in his life right now. And speaking of shit to deal with from all sides--OMG, look what those bastards did to Tyra’s student council candidate picture! Look at that beautiful young woman, and they are slut-shaming her?!! I am angry as hell, but I can also feel her mortification as she tries not to react publicly to this attack.
here’s luck: And it’s another connection across storylines, too, as we immediately cut to Lyla’s locker with WHORE scrawled across it and Tim’s number (33) half-covering Jason’s (6) on her locker sign, and Lyla’s carefully blank face as she scrubs the locker. They won’t stop, indeed.
3:01-3:18
[instrumental bridge]
renenet: Aaaaaaaand it’s time for the Bridge of Comfort...where our characters dig deep and seek solace in whatever brings them peace and comfort. For Landry, it’s owning up to his actions and the respect for the law that his father has instilled in him. For Tyra, it’s her mother’s support. For Lyla it’s her Bible study group, which represents her reaching out to God. For Jason, it’s this baby he fathered, who is innocent and adorable despite being the result of a one-night stand he had in the midst of his anger and jealousy over the Tim and Lyla situation. Note the almost parallel shots of people at Lyla's Bible Study holding hands next to a Bible on the table and Jason's hand next to the baby in the crib: symbols of what they’re reaching for to find meaning and/or solace in their lives at this point.
3:18-3:29
some fantasies are never meant to be realized at all
renenet: And, having centered themselves, our characters can begin to rebuild...and, OK, to focus again on the economical storytelling in this vid: Tyra/college OTP sequence FTW! Tyra’s college prospects are looking shaky, but maybe being elected to student government will help her chances, so she turns her slutty reputation to her advantage to get votes. You go, girl!
here’s luck: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my weeping. This is the place in the vid where I break down every single time, because: Tyra/college OTP. Oh, my heart.
3:29-3:39
and some regrets could be prevented if you read that writing on the wall
renenet: Lyla is still in turmoil, regretting her sexual relationship with Tim, but she accepts her father’s comfort as he joins her on the bleachers. There’s so much packed into this little scene between the pair of them. The lyric “some regrets could be prevented if you read that writing on the wall” alludes to events in the Biblical Book of Daniel in which someone’s downfall is prophesied by Divine handwriting on a wall, if only one knows how to interpret the message. By showing regretful, weeping Lyla with Buddy on this line, the vid seems to me to invite us to consider all the warnings Lyla could have heeded but didn’t:
a.) the guiding principles of her faith as embodied in her presidency of the abstinence club
b.) the messages her devoutly church-going father Buddy must have imparted to her about his expectations for her as his pure little girl; and
c.) Buddy’s own example of the hurt caused by cheating and extra-marital sex.
Neither of them can change the past, but at least father and daughter have reconciled here and seem to have started to forgive one another, and that’s a positive development.
3:39-3:49
oh and sometimes you say you know nothing can happen
and then she leans over and lifts off your glasses
renenet: Speaking of positive developments (if you’re Landry)...Tyra kisses him OMG! \o/
here’s luck: Okay, here I just have to say that these lines were always Tyra/Landry for me, and so seeing them vidded like this made me so, so happy. Yay for Tyra lifting off Landry’s (metaphorical) glasses!
3:50-3:58
and next thing you know you're just tangled and guilty
and you've got a head full of liquor and perfume
renenet: And then ouch! Tim is watching the game footage of Jason’s accident and feeling guilty that that happened to his best friend and teammate--Tim was on that field, why didn’t he do something to prevent it from happening? Where was Jason’s coverage? And boom! OK, finally, clear as day, the vid makes the link between Tim feeling “tangled and guilty” over Jason’s injury and his hooking up with Jason’s girlfriend. That shot of Tim falling ass over teakettle into the bushes while sneaking out of Lyla’s bedroom window on the line “you’ve got a head full of liquor and perfume” is PERFECT!
here’s luck: Actually, I’m not sure PERFECT is a strong enough word for that clip. Oh, Tim, you dumbass.
3:59-4:18
and when did you leave me
and when did you find her
and tell me is this just what you wanted
and when did you leave me
and when did you find her
and tell me is this just what you wanted
renenet: More ouch...this time for Landry as he encounters Tyra out with some cowboy guy.
here’s luck: I really hate that guy.
renenet: But Lyla looks peaceful as she turns back to God. And, shit! Tyra’s cowboy guy is a violent asshole. But she is out of there! You go, girl!
here’s luck: I think one of the most amazing things about this bit is that this part of the song is fairly straightforwardly about infidelity--I mean, the whole song is about longing for someone and getting her unexpectedly and not being able to keep her and then trying to recover. But in the context of these clips, it becomes something much more. I mean, yes, we get Landry’s jealousy at seeing Tyra with someone new, but we also get Lyla trying to find peace, and Tyra walking out, and Tim looking at Jason and Jason glancing almost shyly at Tim--it’s these characters talking to themselves as well as each other, asking themselves what they want. Lyla wants to be a good person; Tyra wants to be a strong woman; Tim wants Jason to be happy, even if it means letting him go. Aaaaaaand I’m crying again, dammit.
4:18-5:04
This is a story of burning bridges and allowing time to pass
This is a story of forgiveness and breaking things in my hands
This is a story of understanding you can't choose who you love
And this is a story of soft skin and rats in the walls
renenet: The last verse repeats the “this is a story of...” structure of the opening verse.
here’s luck: Right -- each line gets a focal character. Well, except for how Tyra and Landry’s stories have merged into one line, and Tim gets two lines; but Tim is wrapping up both his story with Jason and his own story, with lots of big thematic stuff, so that makes sense.
renenet: This time, of course, we get to see where the characters introduced in the opening verse have ended up emotionally. Jason seems to have reached a kind of acceptance and Tim is getting there; there’s a sort of quiet acceptance between them here, and they confirm that with the low-key fistbump outside the cab. As Jason wheels himself away and the camera presses in on Tim’s face, you can see Tim processing that, yeah, nothing is ever going to be like it used to be between him and Jason, when they were small-town gods and inseparable buds, but they can go their separate ways and hope for the best for one another.
here’s luck: That slow push on Tim as he watches Jason wheel away and nods to himself? Just kills me. sisabet really knows when to linger on a shot for maximum emotional impact, and she does that here.
renenet: And I tried to make a clip of it to show everyone what we're talking about, but this specific bit refused to be extracted from the rest of the scene without great audio awkwardness, so please enjoy these screencaps instead, everyone:
renenet: Lyla has fully re-committed to her Lord and Savior, and reconciled with Buddy.
here’s luck: Yeah, and she’s letting go of Tim, which is telegraphed in her pushing away from him in the church, but it’s also a huge part of the context for the reconciliation-with-Buddy shots: instead of following Tim to San Antonio State, she’s going to Vanderbilt, which is one of the dreams Buddy shot down when he blew her college money. And he makes it up to her! For a few seconds there, I actually kind of like Buddy. And speaking of college...
renenet: TYRA GOT INTO UT!!!! OMG, GO TYRA!!!!! \o/\o/\o/\o/\o/ (why are these symbols insufficient to convey MOTHERFUCKING CARTWHEELS???!!!!!) <3<3<3 as she celebrates with Landry and her mom!
here’s luck: Yeah, this is where I lost it for the fifth or sixth time during VividCon. I was pretty much just clutching sisabet and openly sobbing at this point. It’s a good thing I’d already watched the vid about forty times so I knew how it ended even though I could barely see.
renenet: Aaaaand Tim. Oh, Timmy. So much to make peace with, our Tim. And he seems to be doing that here. What, leaving it all on the field? Hanging up his cleats? I confess that I stopped watching the show pretty early on, so all I know is what I see in the vid, here. I know Tim’s in Austin, because that’s the state capitol building and he passes under a Longhorns banner as he enters the stadium. I assume the state high school championship game was just played at UT because the scoreboard shows Dillon losing to “S. Texas” by a score of 28-30. Ouch, that must have been a heartbreaker.
here’s luck: It really was. They made it to State, and they came really close, and then... they lost.
renenet: I don’t even care about the details (although obviously they matter to Tim) because the emotional piece is the important thing here, and Tim achieves something by leaving his shoes in the middle of this field.
here’s luck: Well, it’s a big letting go. Football’s been a defining element of Tim’s whole life; it’s not the only thing he cares about, but it’s the thing that made him special. But he’s not going to play Division I football in college; he’s not going to go pro; he’s just a kid who was a pretty good high school football player. There’s actually beautiful payoff for this moment two seasons later, when Tim’s talking to a kid in exactly the same position, getting ready to go off to State even as he faces the fact that football isn’t going to be his ticket to anything, and he says--I’m paraphrasing here--You’re going to State, and nothing else is ever going to measure up to that. So play like it’s the last time. And then let it go.
renenet: And, really, isn’t that what this vid has been doing all along? Demonstrating that both circumstances and other people can fuck your shit up, and you will make bad choices and hurt people you care about and be hurt in return. And when that happens you’ve got to believe in yourself and your values and your loved ones and in the power of forgiveness. And be prepared to move on, older and wiser.
here’s luck: Exactly. You have to burn those bridges; you have to let go.
renenet: Man, you know I love me some vid commentary, but this whole thing has felt like an exercise in obscuring the glory of this vid. People just need to watch it and *feel* it.
here’s luck: I agree. Everybody scroll back up to the top of the page and rewatch and just revel in the awesomeness that is this vid.
renenet: And then please head over to the vid post on LiveJournal or on AO3 to leave a comment for this awesome vidder! Thank you.
Vidder: sisabet
Fandom: Friday Night Lights
Link to vid: on LiveJournal / on AO3
Summary: This is the story of...
Commentary by: heresluck and renenet
Click to viewThemes: this is a vid about...
renenet: This is a vid about growing up and moving on and forgiving and accepting forgiveness. It’s about loving people even when it hurts: loving them even when they hurt and disappoint you, and hurting and disappointing them even though you love them. You know, basically, the messy stuff of LIFE with other people in it.
here’s luck: Yes. That. All of that.
Ensemble
here’s luck: When I asked sisabet to make me this vid, I gave her some notes and ideas I’d had, but really all I wanted was a Friday Night Lights ensemble vid to this song; within those parameters, anything would have been fine with me. What I love about how sisabet chose to interpret “ensemble” is that by focusing on just five of the teenaged characters plus three parents, she’s able to convey more of the complex interrelationships among these characters than she otherwise could: Tim’s in love with Jason and they’re both involved with Lyla and Lyla’s dad slept with Tyra’s mom and Tyra is involved with Landry who is supporting her through her college applications...
renenet: Right. She builds the ensemble vid out of individual stories/characters/relationships/situations layered together and thematically linked into a bigger picture.
here’s luck: That kind of complexity is something I love about ensemble shows, and vids, because they’re so short, very seldom manage to capture it; more often, they convey the ensemble feel of the show and handwave the details. This vid is all about the details.
Visuals
renenet: Check out the shaky, mobile, hand-held camera footage and the immediacy and intimacy that lends the experience of watching the vid. Combine that with the confessional, emotionally charged, first-person narrative of this song and it’s like I’m living this vid in the shoes of each of these protagonist characters.
here’s luck: I mean, obviously the camerawork is the show’s, but the way sisabet uses it is just really smart.
Commentary
0:00-0:20
[instrumental intro]
renenet: These opening shots of the town at dusk fading to night establish both setting and mood; they signal that 1) we’re dealing with a broad focus on life in this town, and 2) given the moody minor-key guitar strumming, what we’re going to see of that life is some difficult and/or contemplative bits.
here’s luck: I suspect the intro may also be a shout-out to my own Friday Night Lights ensemble vid, which... opens with shots of the town on the instrumental intro and then introduces the characters when the first verse begins. Clearly sisabet does know how to make a here’s luck vid for here’s luck. Predictably, I love it.
renenet: But it’s not just establishing shots of this physical place; our focus is on places that represent the communal experience of this town: we drive by the Applebee’s and catch what must be a familiar scene, of a guy changing the sign to spell out a message of support for the Panthers (the local high school football team) and of the lit-up ferris wheel at the carnival. Then the headlights of oncoming traffic seem to blur as if our eyes are filled with tears, but it’s really spots of rain on the windshield as the camera turns to track the path of cars headed the opposite direction in the final night driving shot before we transition out of the intro. (Oh holy crap! Damn, that is the mood and the experience of this vid right there on the “for here’s luck” clip.)
Ahem, so, anyway, I think this intro section of the vid pretty effectively suggests that the vid’s focus is on this small town community and that the individual characters’ lives and relationships we’re going to see in the vid make up that community. Really, it’s just like how individual houses and the network of roads and streets between them make up a town.
0:20-1:00
This is a story of burning bridges and allowing time to pass
This is a story of forgiveness and breaking things in my hands
This is a story of understanding you can’t choose who you love
And this is a story of soft skin and rats in the walls
here’s luck: I love how sisabet uses the song here: each “this is a story of...” line introduces one pair of characters. Tyra and her mother, Landry and his father, Tim and Jason, Lyla and her father Buddy. And while I think any of these four lines could work for any of the pairs, the way that they’re arranged throws into relief particular elements of the characters and relationships: Tyra’s attempts to escape her life, Landry’s need for forgiveness, Tim’s love for Jason, Lyla’s faith--I love that the line that’s most about sex is a) paired with a girl whose locker we later see defaced with “whore” and b) reconfigured as baptism--and her father. (Buddy Garrity is a rat in the wall, folks.)
renenet: sisabet informs me that someone is always touching someone else whenever the line “this is a story of” plays.
here’s luck: Really? [rewatches] Okay, that is awesome.
renenet: Also, she totally cops to the hands as an explicit part of her trying to vid like you.
here’s luck: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
1:00-1:32
and you can't just pass along the pain that comes around
you'll go dizzy until you fall
and I know you didn't mean to let me down
but you let me down so hard
renenet: It’s a significant challenge to build a successful ensemble vid.
here’s luck: Ahahahaha. Yes.
renenet: sisabet has established place and hinted at her focus during the introduction, and then established each of her main teen protagonists and their particular situations/challenges in the first verse. Now in the first chorus she can start to explore plot and conflicts and complicate things up a bit--but she does so strategically.
Given the large number of characters in the vid, I find it very smart that the first few plot/conflict elements that the vid deals with are thematically linked around the idea of a love triangle. From Tim gingerly touching Jason’s shoulders in Jason’s physical therapy and Tim’s subsequent unwillingness to watch a similar type of intimacy between Jason and Lyla as she leans back against Jason, the vid moves right into Landry “go[ing] dizzy” as he races to attack the guy who is assaulting Tyra and strikes him down. Then Tyra’s mom is rushing up to Buddy after church to slap him a good one (in classic woman-scorned mode) and we are living Lyla’s reaction of anger and disappointment at her father for cheating on her mother.
Clip: Buddy lets Lyla down so hard (password: let me down)
Also, up until this point, sisabet has mostly been transitioning between storylines just before or right on the downbeat of a new measure, but here she lingers on Lyla collapsed against the door she has just slammed in Buddy's face as the lyric holds on the last word of "let me down so haaaaaard."
here’s luck: Yes! And she really emphasizes it by having Lyla slump against the door on that downbeat.
renenet: That was some emotionally explosive chorus, man! I feel for these characters so much! By this point the vid has drawn us fully into these characters’ lives and relationships; we’re invested in every detail, and we’ve got enough familiarity, we’re grounded enough in their lives that the vid can layer up the details about their stories interchangeably and the emotional throughline sustains. It’s all building so intensely with the music that at real speed the stuff that pops out at me becomes almost impressionistic--the vid shifting to another storyline even as I process the previous one.
1:32-1:42
this is a story of loaded glances and leaning in too far
renenet: OK, yeah, Tim hooking up with Lyla really is all about his messed up feelings of guilt and love for Jason.
here’s luck: Oh, totally. Somewhere in heaven, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick is smiling. But I think it works the other way too: Lyla hooks up with Tim as a way to feel closer to Jason.
1:42-1:51
this is a story of vague advances and confessions in smoky bars
renenet: Aww, Landry has unreciprocated feelings for Tyra.
1:51-2:03
so now I am walking down the sidewalk and I am singing to myself
renenet: Great juxtaposition of Lyla and Tim kissing (note the wet hair from preceding emotionally fraught, fucked-up-Tim-in-the-rain sequence) with Tim staring at the photo of himself and Jason that he keeps in his locker:
2:04-2:13
and I'm going to leave it all behind me now
cause I don't need this
I just don't need this
renenet: Tyra defending her mom against Mom’s boyfriend is about more than just how close she is to her mother. No, set to that lyric, it’s about Tyra wanting more for her own life than drifting from bad relationship to bad relationship with men like her mother has done. The scene of fierce Tyra with the fireplace poker comes after a 30-second chunk of vid that has focused pretty exclusively on romantic entanglements (Jason-Lyla-Tim and Landry’s feelings for Tyra), with all of the concomitant emotional intensity and baggage--the type of feeling that leads to some dude slapping your mother in your kitchen.
here’s luck: I think these lines also set up really beautifully the Tyra/college storyline that’s coming up: Tyra doesn’t want to turn into her mother; she wants a different life for herself. College is the symbol of that desire, but this scene--and the one of her mother crashing drunkenly through the coffee table--is the reason for the desire. That’s there in the show, obviously, but sisabet distills it down to its essence.
2:13-2:36
and you can't just pass along the pain that comes around
you'll go dizzy until you fall
and I know you didn't mean to let me down
but you let me down so hard
renenet: And now we’ve reached the second chorus, and the vidder is not afraid to change the pattern of layering different storylines in almost every clip to hone in on one relationship to amp up the tension. This chorus is wholly focused on Tim and Jason, and it builds to a climax in the gym scene:
Clip: Jason and Tim in the gym (password: gym)
2:36-3:01
and these memories are talking and talking
and I'll do anything to shut 'em up
I've got the pillow over my head
but they won't stop
no, they won’t stop
renenet: And now everything is more intense in all the storylines...it’s almost like Jason confronting Tim about Lyla has unlocked the floodgates in the vid and Sheriff Dad has to bodily remove Landry from the statement room before he can confess to manslaughter. Tyra and Landry embrace, clearly feeling the aftermath of that violent night. And we finally see the immediate aftermath of the gym scene, with Tim walking away, regretful and clutching his bruised jaw and Jason’s spent anger quickly turning to /o\ for everything he’s got to deal with in his life right now. And speaking of shit to deal with from all sides--OMG, look what those bastards did to Tyra’s student council candidate picture! Look at that beautiful young woman, and they are slut-shaming her?!! I am angry as hell, but I can also feel her mortification as she tries not to react publicly to this attack.
here’s luck: And it’s another connection across storylines, too, as we immediately cut to Lyla’s locker with WHORE scrawled across it and Tim’s number (33) half-covering Jason’s (6) on her locker sign, and Lyla’s carefully blank face as she scrubs the locker. They won’t stop, indeed.
3:01-3:18
[instrumental bridge]
renenet: Aaaaaaaand it’s time for the Bridge of Comfort...where our characters dig deep and seek solace in whatever brings them peace and comfort. For Landry, it’s owning up to his actions and the respect for the law that his father has instilled in him. For Tyra, it’s her mother’s support. For Lyla it’s her Bible study group, which represents her reaching out to God. For Jason, it’s this baby he fathered, who is innocent and adorable despite being the result of a one-night stand he had in the midst of his anger and jealousy over the Tim and Lyla situation. Note the almost parallel shots of people at Lyla's Bible Study holding hands next to a Bible on the table and Jason's hand next to the baby in the crib: symbols of what they’re reaching for to find meaning and/or solace in their lives at this point.
3:18-3:29
some fantasies are never meant to be realized at all
renenet: And, having centered themselves, our characters can begin to rebuild...and, OK, to focus again on the economical storytelling in this vid: Tyra/college OTP sequence FTW! Tyra’s college prospects are looking shaky, but maybe being elected to student government will help her chances, so she turns her slutty reputation to her advantage to get votes. You go, girl!
here’s luck: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my weeping. This is the place in the vid where I break down every single time, because: Tyra/college OTP. Oh, my heart.
3:29-3:39
and some regrets could be prevented if you read that writing on the wall
renenet: Lyla is still in turmoil, regretting her sexual relationship with Tim, but she accepts her father’s comfort as he joins her on the bleachers. There’s so much packed into this little scene between the pair of them. The lyric “some regrets could be prevented if you read that writing on the wall” alludes to events in the Biblical Book of Daniel in which someone’s downfall is prophesied by Divine handwriting on a wall, if only one knows how to interpret the message. By showing regretful, weeping Lyla with Buddy on this line, the vid seems to me to invite us to consider all the warnings Lyla could have heeded but didn’t:
a.) the guiding principles of her faith as embodied in her presidency of the abstinence club
b.) the messages her devoutly church-going father Buddy must have imparted to her about his expectations for her as his pure little girl; and
c.) Buddy’s own example of the hurt caused by cheating and extra-marital sex.
Neither of them can change the past, but at least father and daughter have reconciled here and seem to have started to forgive one another, and that’s a positive development.
3:39-3:49
oh and sometimes you say you know nothing can happen
and then she leans over and lifts off your glasses
renenet: Speaking of positive developments (if you’re Landry)...Tyra kisses him OMG! \o/
here’s luck: Okay, here I just have to say that these lines were always Tyra/Landry for me, and so seeing them vidded like this made me so, so happy. Yay for Tyra lifting off Landry’s (metaphorical) glasses!
3:50-3:58
and next thing you know you're just tangled and guilty
and you've got a head full of liquor and perfume
renenet: And then ouch! Tim is watching the game footage of Jason’s accident and feeling guilty that that happened to his best friend and teammate--Tim was on that field, why didn’t he do something to prevent it from happening? Where was Jason’s coverage? And boom! OK, finally, clear as day, the vid makes the link between Tim feeling “tangled and guilty” over Jason’s injury and his hooking up with Jason’s girlfriend. That shot of Tim falling ass over teakettle into the bushes while sneaking out of Lyla’s bedroom window on the line “you’ve got a head full of liquor and perfume” is PERFECT!
here’s luck: Actually, I’m not sure PERFECT is a strong enough word for that clip. Oh, Tim, you dumbass.
3:59-4:18
and when did you leave me
and when did you find her
and tell me is this just what you wanted
and when did you leave me
and when did you find her
and tell me is this just what you wanted
renenet: More ouch...this time for Landry as he encounters Tyra out with some cowboy guy.
here’s luck: I really hate that guy.
renenet: But Lyla looks peaceful as she turns back to God. And, shit! Tyra’s cowboy guy is a violent asshole. But she is out of there! You go, girl!
here’s luck: I think one of the most amazing things about this bit is that this part of the song is fairly straightforwardly about infidelity--I mean, the whole song is about longing for someone and getting her unexpectedly and not being able to keep her and then trying to recover. But in the context of these clips, it becomes something much more. I mean, yes, we get Landry’s jealousy at seeing Tyra with someone new, but we also get Lyla trying to find peace, and Tyra walking out, and Tim looking at Jason and Jason glancing almost shyly at Tim--it’s these characters talking to themselves as well as each other, asking themselves what they want. Lyla wants to be a good person; Tyra wants to be a strong woman; Tim wants Jason to be happy, even if it means letting him go. Aaaaaaand I’m crying again, dammit.
4:18-5:04
This is a story of burning bridges and allowing time to pass
This is a story of forgiveness and breaking things in my hands
This is a story of understanding you can't choose who you love
And this is a story of soft skin and rats in the walls
renenet: The last verse repeats the “this is a story of...” structure of the opening verse.
here’s luck: Right -- each line gets a focal character. Well, except for how Tyra and Landry’s stories have merged into one line, and Tim gets two lines; but Tim is wrapping up both his story with Jason and his own story, with lots of big thematic stuff, so that makes sense.
renenet: This time, of course, we get to see where the characters introduced in the opening verse have ended up emotionally. Jason seems to have reached a kind of acceptance and Tim is getting there; there’s a sort of quiet acceptance between them here, and they confirm that with the low-key fistbump outside the cab. As Jason wheels himself away and the camera presses in on Tim’s face, you can see Tim processing that, yeah, nothing is ever going to be like it used to be between him and Jason, when they were small-town gods and inseparable buds, but they can go their separate ways and hope for the best for one another.
here’s luck: That slow push on Tim as he watches Jason wheel away and nods to himself? Just kills me. sisabet really knows when to linger on a shot for maximum emotional impact, and she does that here.
renenet: And I tried to make a clip of it to show everyone what we're talking about, but this specific bit refused to be extracted from the rest of the scene without great audio awkwardness, so please enjoy these screencaps instead, everyone:
renenet: Lyla has fully re-committed to her Lord and Savior, and reconciled with Buddy.
here’s luck: Yeah, and she’s letting go of Tim, which is telegraphed in her pushing away from him in the church, but it’s also a huge part of the context for the reconciliation-with-Buddy shots: instead of following Tim to San Antonio State, she’s going to Vanderbilt, which is one of the dreams Buddy shot down when he blew her college money. And he makes it up to her! For a few seconds there, I actually kind of like Buddy. And speaking of college...
renenet: TYRA GOT INTO UT!!!! OMG, GO TYRA!!!!! \o/\o/\o/\o/\o/ (why are these symbols insufficient to convey MOTHERFUCKING CARTWHEELS???!!!!!) <3<3<3 as she celebrates with Landry and her mom!
here’s luck: Yeah, this is where I lost it for the fifth or sixth time during VividCon. I was pretty much just clutching sisabet and openly sobbing at this point. It’s a good thing I’d already watched the vid about forty times so I knew how it ended even though I could barely see.
renenet: Aaaaand Tim. Oh, Timmy. So much to make peace with, our Tim. And he seems to be doing that here. What, leaving it all on the field? Hanging up his cleats? I confess that I stopped watching the show pretty early on, so all I know is what I see in the vid, here. I know Tim’s in Austin, because that’s the state capitol building and he passes under a Longhorns banner as he enters the stadium. I assume the state high school championship game was just played at UT because the scoreboard shows Dillon losing to “S. Texas” by a score of 28-30. Ouch, that must have been a heartbreaker.
here’s luck: It really was. They made it to State, and they came really close, and then... they lost.
renenet: I don’t even care about the details (although obviously they matter to Tim) because the emotional piece is the important thing here, and Tim achieves something by leaving his shoes in the middle of this field.
here’s luck: Well, it’s a big letting go. Football’s been a defining element of Tim’s whole life; it’s not the only thing he cares about, but it’s the thing that made him special. But he’s not going to play Division I football in college; he’s not going to go pro; he’s just a kid who was a pretty good high school football player. There’s actually beautiful payoff for this moment two seasons later, when Tim’s talking to a kid in exactly the same position, getting ready to go off to State even as he faces the fact that football isn’t going to be his ticket to anything, and he says--I’m paraphrasing here--You’re going to State, and nothing else is ever going to measure up to that. So play like it’s the last time. And then let it go.
renenet: And, really, isn’t that what this vid has been doing all along? Demonstrating that both circumstances and other people can fuck your shit up, and you will make bad choices and hurt people you care about and be hurt in return. And when that happens you’ve got to believe in yourself and your values and your loved ones and in the power of forgiveness. And be prepared to move on, older and wiser.
here’s luck: Exactly. You have to burn those bridges; you have to let go.
renenet: Man, you know I love me some vid commentary, but this whole thing has felt like an exercise in obscuring the glory of this vid. People just need to watch it and *feel* it.
here’s luck: I agree. Everybody scroll back up to the top of the page and rewatch and just revel in the awesomeness that is this vid.
renenet: And then please head over to the vid post on LiveJournal or on AO3 to leave a comment for this awesome vidder! Thank you.