(no subject)
57 x 57 is never 93 and it doesn't mean anything but it is what comes to my mind when i put this song that has unlocked something inside of me on repeat. it is cold. my feet are cold. my heart has never, not once been warm. or maybe it has.
i think a lot of how our morals aren't always visible. like, that the driving force behind our decisions is so often invisible. that we don't always, as humans, make practice of explaining everything explicitly to everyone all the time (except that i try). basically, i think all the boys that didn't love me must have had some moral obligation to reject the idea of sex outside of marriage or drinking under age and not to me personally.
it is funny (or something else) how so much of what draws us together and makes us work is left unsaid. that when you actually find someone on the same page, it mostly is because it feels like you are on the same page and not so much because either of you put in any time reading. but communication is still somehow key. maybe i am shortcutting. i am always shortcutting. i am always shortcutting. if there's a way, there's a shorter way.
work sucks, i know. (i didn't write that. will posterity understand that? what will get lost? everything eventually, i know, even tom) (that will really throw someone for a loop one day if the entire internet doesn't implode to nothing first) (i would die) (would i die? it would definitely be different to exist, which is a kind of death, i guess).