2011.05.24 Mission V6 Recap
So this last episode of "Mission V6" was hilarious but more than a little confusing if you don't understand Japanese and since I won't have subs for this done for a hot minute, I'll just give you dudes a recap here. I'm basically copying this straight from my tumblr. I hope all my explanations make sense. If you have questions or whatever, feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer.
Basically, the entire premise of this episode is to embarrass Okada as much as possible. We also learn Nagano and Inocchi are really good at figuring out puns.
Staff: "Okada, you haven't been in any movies or anything lately, right?"
Okada: "Well, I have, but..."
Staff: "Then you can act, right?"
Okada: "We all can..."
After which, they tell him the premise of the mission and the rest of the group gets all excited, like "oh, come on, you're from Kansai, dude; you got this!" and no amount of protesting from Okada will change the minds of V5 or the staff.
Pun #1: On a train, Okada is scratching his ass with a teacup and saying "hang on -- stop -- STOP." The pun? "Don't touch me." It's a pun on "ch" and "s" -- "chawan nai" ("there's no teacup") -> "sawannai" ("don't touch me.")
Pun #2: Okada places a mandarin orange on the floor and walks around like he's looking for something. The pun? "I can't find it." This one's a play on "mikan nai" ("there's no orange") and "mitsukannai" ("I can't find it").
Pun #3: Okada places a pillow on the floor and moonwalks backward. The pun? I think is something like "roll up." It's a play on "makura" ("pillow") and "makuru" ("roll up").
Pun #4: Okada bids hello to a chair. The pun? "G'afternoon~" -- a play on a colloquial way to say "good afternoon" and "chairs."
Pun #5: Okada hides in a corner with some chopsticks. The pun? "On the edge/in the corner." This one's a play on "hashi" ("chopsticks") and "hashikko" ("edge"). Morita picked up on this one almost right away.
Pun #6: Okada puts the futon on a chair and lifts it up like it's a skirt. Ken almost has it right away but doesn't quite get the wording right. The pun is "chirarizumu," which is probably best translated as a quick glance down a shirt or up a skirt; NEWS fans will know this word cos it's KoyaShige's creeper song.
That aside, this pun took them the longest because Okada was looking for "chairizumu" ("chair-rizumu") using the loanword "chair" instead of what Ken came up with at first, which was "chira-isu-mu" ("isu" is chair in Japanese). Does that make sense?
Being the huge dork/spazz that he is, Inocchi wants to play this game again. Get ready for round 2!
Pun #7: Admittedly almost a gimme (and one I expected him to do earlier just because it was so easy/obvs): "running" using "hashi" ("chopsticks") and "hashiru" ("to run").
Pun #8: I honestly screamed "OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS" when I got this one (right around the same time as Morita). Even Ken was like "omg you are so dumb for real."
Pun #8 is "Issun Boushi." Issun Boushi is a fairytale about a boy who's about 1 inch tall (if you care, you can read you the wiki page). See, the pun here is that Okada put the hat ("boushi") on the chair ("isu"). I promise you, it's a really, really bad pun.
Pun #9: Okada Kansai-ben fans rejoice: he made a pun using Kansai-ben! This one is "it's useless/hopeless" using the teapot ("yakan") and "mou akan" ("it's hopeless") to make "mou yakan." Everyone else thought it had something to do with sighing or just the sound a kettle makes but once again, only Nagano understands the ways of the pun.
These puns are killing me, you guys. I can feel little bits of my soul withering away. The look on Maa-kun's face is about what mine looked like through this whole thing.
Pun #10: The puns are getting slightly harder now. This one is a play on "The Pillow Book" ("Makura no Soushi") and "cleaning" ("souji") to make "pillow cleaning." I just said they were getting slightly harder, I didn't say they were getting any better or less forehead smack-inducing.
You might remember that "The Pillow Book" was written by contemporary of Lady Murasaki (author of "The Tale of Genji" (best described as Harlequin Romance for the Heian Period)) and all-around cunt, Sei Shonagon. She's basically the type of person about whom Missy was rapping in "Gossip Folks." It's just a shame Lady Murasaki was too busy pondering the impermanence of life and the beauty therein to go off on Sei Shonagon.
Yes, I did just connect Heian literature/court figures and Missy Elliott. You know how I do. Oh, and also, Nagano got this one, too. High five for knowing your Heian literature, baby.
Pun #11: Another relatively easy one: "chairleader," which Inocchi got almost right away. Ken was like "wow, he really likes the English meaning. It's not 'isu,' it's 'chair.'"
Pun #12: For this last one, Okada took his time trying to think of a pun with an object he had yet to use, finally deciding on "I'm sleepy" ("nemutai") and "taiyaki" (a pancake with bean jam shaped like a fish). Okada, honey, why are you like this.
Inocchi found that last pun really, really, really funny. He was actually on the floor laughing. He also asked to do it one more time but Okada blatantly refused. Nagano, however, wanted to see Ken make some puns and so Maa-kun and Okada shoved him to the front. Gird your loins: these puns are really, really bad. I'm not kidding. Your foreheads are in for some serious abuse.
KenKen Pun #1: Ken started off by using the hat and pointing to a spot on the floor ("ten") but no one understood. Okada finally figured it out when Ken did the numbers in the air: "captain" (which, I'm sure you understand, is "cap" + "ten," yes? You're smart, so of course you do).
KenKen Pun #2: As you can see, everyone busted the fuck up. Why, you may be wondering? Because the pun is "Swiss" ("suisu") with Ken making the katakana "su" and using the chair for "isu." Nagano was especially amused at Ken using his body to make letters.
If your heart doesn't melt at this, you have no soul. That's right, I said that.
KenKen Pun #3: What you need to understand is that there's a positive correlation between the simplicity of Ken's puns and the force with which they make you smack your forehead. This pun? "Makura" (pillow) -> "Makkura" (pitch black) by putting the pillow over his face. I smacked my forehead like it owed me money when Inocchi figured it out.
KenKen Pun #4: Using the taiyaki early, Ken acts like it stinks ("kusai") and makes a pun on "taiikusai" ("athletic festival") -- "taiikusai"/"taikusai." Get it?
KenKen Pun #5: He shakes the desk like it's an earthquake drill, but no one gets it at first, so he points to his hand ("te") and shakes like he's cold/scared ("buru") -> "teeburu" ("table"). I wasn't kidding about that correlation between simplicity and forehead-smacking.
KenKen Pun #6: They unfortunately ran out of time cos Okada and Inocchi wanted him to use the orange to make a pun but Ken wasted all his time trying in vain to think of one. With two seconds left, he grabs the futon and dives for the floor. No one got it, but on replay we learn it was "futon ga futton da": "the futon exploded."
And thus, we have reached the end of our journey through the punny mind of Miyake Ken. Go relax, get yourself some coffee and while you're down in the kitchen, maybe an ice pack for your poor forehead.
So, there you have it. Further proof V6 are basically perfect: they can make your panties drop with smooth harmonies and slick dancing one minute and make you groan in agony over their terrible puns the next.
Basically, the entire premise of this episode is to embarrass Okada as much as possible. We also learn Nagano and Inocchi are really good at figuring out puns.
Staff: "Okada, you haven't been in any movies or anything lately, right?"
Okada: "Well, I have, but..."
Staff: "Then you can act, right?"
Okada: "We all can..."
After which, they tell him the premise of the mission and the rest of the group gets all excited, like "oh, come on, you're from Kansai, dude; you got this!" and no amount of protesting from Okada will change the minds of V5 or the staff.
Pun #1: On a train, Okada is scratching his ass with a teacup and saying "hang on -- stop -- STOP." The pun? "Don't touch me." It's a pun on "ch" and "s" -- "chawan nai" ("there's no teacup") -> "sawannai" ("don't touch me.")
Pun #2: Okada places a mandarin orange on the floor and walks around like he's looking for something. The pun? "I can't find it." This one's a play on "mikan nai" ("there's no orange") and "mitsukannai" ("I can't find it").
Pun #3: Okada places a pillow on the floor and moonwalks backward. The pun? I think is something like "roll up." It's a play on "makura" ("pillow") and "makuru" ("roll up").
Pun #4: Okada bids hello to a chair. The pun? "G'afternoon~" -- a play on a colloquial way to say "good afternoon" and "chairs."
Pun #5: Okada hides in a corner with some chopsticks. The pun? "On the edge/in the corner." This one's a play on "hashi" ("chopsticks") and "hashikko" ("edge"). Morita picked up on this one almost right away.
Pun #6: Okada puts the futon on a chair and lifts it up like it's a skirt. Ken almost has it right away but doesn't quite get the wording right. The pun is "chirarizumu," which is probably best translated as a quick glance down a shirt or up a skirt; NEWS fans will know this word cos it's KoyaShige's creeper song.
That aside, this pun took them the longest because Okada was looking for "chairizumu" ("chair-rizumu") using the loanword "chair" instead of what Ken came up with at first, which was "chira-isu-mu" ("isu" is chair in Japanese). Does that make sense?
Being the huge dork/spazz that he is, Inocchi wants to play this game again. Get ready for round 2!
Pun #7: Admittedly almost a gimme (and one I expected him to do earlier just because it was so easy/obvs): "running" using "hashi" ("chopsticks") and "hashiru" ("to run").
Pun #8: I honestly screamed "OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS" when I got this one (right around the same time as Morita). Even Ken was like "omg you are so dumb for real."
Pun #8 is "Issun Boushi." Issun Boushi is a fairytale about a boy who's about 1 inch tall (if you care, you can read you the wiki page). See, the pun here is that Okada put the hat ("boushi") on the chair ("isu"). I promise you, it's a really, really bad pun.
Pun #9: Okada Kansai-ben fans rejoice: he made a pun using Kansai-ben! This one is "it's useless/hopeless" using the teapot ("yakan") and "mou akan" ("it's hopeless") to make "mou yakan." Everyone else thought it had something to do with sighing or just the sound a kettle makes but once again, only Nagano understands the ways of the pun.
These puns are killing me, you guys. I can feel little bits of my soul withering away. The look on Maa-kun's face is about what mine looked like through this whole thing.
Pun #10: The puns are getting slightly harder now. This one is a play on "The Pillow Book" ("Makura no Soushi") and "cleaning" ("souji") to make "pillow cleaning." I just said they were getting slightly harder, I didn't say they were getting any better or less forehead smack-inducing.
You might remember that "The Pillow Book" was written by contemporary of Lady Murasaki (author of "The Tale of Genji" (best described as Harlequin Romance for the Heian Period)) and all-around cunt, Sei Shonagon. She's basically the type of person about whom Missy was rapping in "Gossip Folks." It's just a shame Lady Murasaki was too busy pondering the impermanence of life and the beauty therein to go off on Sei Shonagon.
Yes, I did just connect Heian literature/court figures and Missy Elliott. You know how I do. Oh, and also, Nagano got this one, too. High five for knowing your Heian literature, baby.
Pun #11: Another relatively easy one: "chairleader," which Inocchi got almost right away. Ken was like "wow, he really likes the English meaning. It's not 'isu,' it's 'chair.'"
Pun #12: For this last one, Okada took his time trying to think of a pun with an object he had yet to use, finally deciding on "I'm sleepy" ("nemutai") and "taiyaki" (a pancake with bean jam shaped like a fish). Okada, honey, why are you like this.
Inocchi found that last pun really, really, really funny. He was actually on the floor laughing. He also asked to do it one more time but Okada blatantly refused. Nagano, however, wanted to see Ken make some puns and so Maa-kun and Okada shoved him to the front. Gird your loins: these puns are really, really bad. I'm not kidding. Your foreheads are in for some serious abuse.
KenKen Pun #1: Ken started off by using the hat and pointing to a spot on the floor ("ten") but no one understood. Okada finally figured it out when Ken did the numbers in the air: "captain" (which, I'm sure you understand, is "cap" + "ten," yes? You're smart, so of course you do).
KenKen Pun #2: As you can see, everyone busted the fuck up. Why, you may be wondering? Because the pun is "Swiss" ("suisu") with Ken making the katakana "su" and using the chair for "isu." Nagano was especially amused at Ken using his body to make letters.
If your heart doesn't melt at this, you have no soul. That's right, I said that.
KenKen Pun #3: What you need to understand is that there's a positive correlation between the simplicity of Ken's puns and the force with which they make you smack your forehead. This pun? "Makura" (pillow) -> "Makkura" (pitch black) by putting the pillow over his face. I smacked my forehead like it owed me money when Inocchi figured it out.
KenKen Pun #4: Using the taiyaki early, Ken acts like it stinks ("kusai") and makes a pun on "taiikusai" ("athletic festival") -- "taiikusai"/"taikusai." Get it?
KenKen Pun #5: He shakes the desk like it's an earthquake drill, but no one gets it at first, so he points to his hand ("te") and shakes like he's cold/scared ("buru") -> "teeburu" ("table"). I wasn't kidding about that correlation between simplicity and forehead-smacking.
KenKen Pun #6: They unfortunately ran out of time cos Okada and Inocchi wanted him to use the orange to make a pun but Ken wasted all his time trying in vain to think of one. With two seconds left, he grabs the futon and dives for the floor. No one got it, but on replay we learn it was "futon ga futton da": "the futon exploded."
And thus, we have reached the end of our journey through the punny mind of Miyake Ken. Go relax, get yourself some coffee and while you're down in the kitchen, maybe an ice pack for your poor forehead.
So, there you have it. Further proof V6 are basically perfect: they can make your panties drop with smooth harmonies and slick dancing one minute and make you groan in agony over their terrible puns the next.