Dec 05, 2010 21:22
This message is to inform you that, I, one Victor Barnabas Allen, am a vampire.
This explains:
1) my pale skin
2) my astoundingly active nightlife
3) that a stake through my heart or decapitation will surely kill me
4) my involvement in sanguineous situations
5) my propensity to cover up
6) my compulsive avoidance of mirrors
7) my obsessive nature
8) my multiple daily showers (to cover the scent of decay)
9) the weird way that I move can be attributed to rigor mortis
EDITED: Sorry, my journal was hacked. Also: this theory is untrue. Also: my middle name isn't Barnabas.