Barely Breathing - Chapter 23
Chapter 23 - I Was Out of Hope
JUNE 27th, 2009 Edinburgh, Scotland : 12:32 PM
The faint sound of water tapping at glass brought me out of my half asleep stupor. I couldn’t remember how long I had been lying there, staring blankly at the generic hotel lamp on my bedside table. All I knew was that I was tired. A lethargic tired. My eyes drifted to the window that sat across from the bed. The curtains were partially closed, but I could still see that drizzle pattering against the glass. It made a slow smile inch across my face. Rain was a cure-all in my own opinion. Melodic and it brought a sweet fresh scent on the air with it.
Pushing the haphazard mess of hair from my face I shifted myself off of the comforter. The dim light of the lamps in the room served well to draw attention to the grey exterior that lay beyond the window. After some rearrangement of the clothes I had chosen for brunch, which had become cockeyed during my nap, I descended from the high mattress and made my way over to the cool pane.
Droplets splashed quicker against the cement of the street below as people rushed around the sidewalks. I assume they were trying to get out of the rain. But who knows, they may have just been busy people. A massive dark vehicle inched forward in my peripheral vision. It must have been the bus for this afternoon’s tour, at least that was the only thing I could guess. I sighed to myself. It was exciting to visit the city’s oldest cemetery, but I just wasn’t in the mood to go out. I was tired and sore still; and this morning had been pretty draining as it was. Spending time being fretted over was exhausting business and I had never been one to play the damsel in distress. Almost on cue an urgent knock came at my door.
“I’m coming, just give me a second.” The words were slow like everything else about myself today.
I drifted around the bed, barely managing to avoid the armoire that housed the TV and my luggage. The room itself was small, but in a cozy way. My bathroom sat next to the hallway door. It gave me a good view of the mirror as I walked past. My hair was a mess of waves and my eyes had darkened circles under them. I doubted anyone would say a thing though. Letting out a deep breath I brought a calm smile onto my face and opened the door.
“We need to head down to the bus. The guys are already getting on.” Missy surveyed my appearance before shaking her head and scurrying past me into the room. She swept around the room grabbing a pair of shoes, a coat, and my purse.
Staring perplexed I walked lazily behind her to stand next to the bed. “I saw the bus pull up. In fact I was just waking up from my nap when it did.”
She looked up at me as she set the items on the covers. Her expression was a mix of sympathy and exasperation. “Olive, I know you feel tired, but we both know you’ll be upset and regret it if you don’t go with us.”
“You’re right. I would probably complain for weeks.” A wry smile stretched on my lips and I sat down to pull on the shoes. “I’ll go, but I don’t expect everyone to start falling over themselves to take care of my needs.”
“No one will-”
I cut her off with a raise of my hand. “Save it. You’ve been doing it since last night. Having you burst in here a few moments ago was the closest you’ve been to normal with me in over eighteen hours.”
Sighing she sat next to me on the bed. I turned towards her more as she set her arm around my shoulders. “I’m sorry, you just worried me yesterday.”
How could I stay judgmental when she gave apologies like that? I wrapped my thin arms around her and gave her a huge squeeze, which she returned. “It’s fine. I’d just like to remind you that I have been through far worse than falling on my ass before.”
Those words pushed away the familial moment; a strained smile stretched at her cheeks. “And far worse is still back in West Chester.”
“One can only hope.” Shrugging in some indifference to currently no existent problem, that I would worry about later, I jumped off of the bed and grabbed Missy to pull her along with me.
As we walked to the door we both gave one last check to the room to make sure nothing was being left behind. Luckily, I hadn’t done much unpacking since arriving yesterday evening. In fact, aside from grabbing clothes nothing had been removed from any of my bags.
The hall of the hotel was quiet as Missy and I made our way past the other rooms. Nothing was there to break it aside from our footsteps and light conversation.
“Did you call your parents to let them know what happened yesterday?” Missy asked as she rummaged around in her bag for lip balm.
I had completely forgotten to call them! I instinctively bit my bottom lip than let it go before quickly gathering a calming breath. “No, I sort of broke my phone.”
We had reached the elevator as the conversation faltered into an awkward silence. Our reflections stared back at us from the polished metal doors. My expression appeared nervous accompanied by a weak smile while Missy wore one of shock and disbelief.
“What do you mean broke it?” Her words were slow as she turned to look at me. I didn’t miss how she automatically hit the down arrow without breaking eye contact.
“I mean it’s lying on the floor of the cellar in pieces,” I said as she continued to stare at me. It made me feel like a child who had been caught finger painting on a prized piece of art. I found my hand fidgeting with an elastic hair band on my wrist as she raked a hand through her hair.
“You mean you broke it at the castle?! Why would you do something like that?” There was nothing vicious in her tone, but her earlier exasperation with me had come back threefold. The bell chimed and the doors opened.
Air rushed from my nose and my lips scrunched up as I raised my shoulder in defeat and walked forward. “Anger… I was starting to get kind of desperate down there. Unfortunately, for my phone it got the brunt of my emotions; in the form of shattering on the ground.”
Leaning against the wall of the elevator and began to dig through her purse again as she spoke. “We’ll need to get you a new one. I’ll make an order to pick one up when we reach London. For now I suggest you call your parents with my phone and let them know what happened.” As she lifted her head she extended the cell for me.
I gently took it and began to type in the number. “Will do,” I mumbled without raising my head.
My breath was held baited as the phone rang softly in my ear. This may very well make or break my stay with my cousin whether or not I was technically an adult. It seemed as if the ringing continued forever when it could not have lasted more than a few minutes, but anxiety can turn anything into eternity.
“Hello,” came from the other end of the phone in a slightly husky tone that could only belong to my mother. How could I forget the time difference? One could only guess how early it must be over there.
I began guiltily nibbling on my fingernail as I spoke. “Hi, mama, I’m sorry to wake you. What times is it over there?”
“Almost seven in the morning,” she said in a distracted tone. Early bird, she must have been up doing something already.
As the elevator descended I bumped my back against the handrail rhythmically to the music coming over the speaker system. “If I had realized that I would have waited another hour or so to call. In fact, I’ll do just that.”
She scoffed at that and I could hear her clanging things together in the background; probably starting breakfast. “No, don’t be silly I’m already awake. What did you call for?”
“Well, Missy wanted me to make sure you knew I had broken my phone and would be using hers for any calls for the next few days.” Locking eyes with Missy across from me I saw her making a mocking attempt to hide the smirk inching across her lips.
“Oh, how did you break it?” The sound of dishes in the background stopped, the only way to take that was bad.
“Being stupid,” I supplied lamely. My hand had moved from my lips and was now back to snapping the hair band on my wrist.
There was a sound of cloth rustling and sounding hitting a surface. In my mind I could see her as she brushed off some imaginary dirt from her hands and set them ominously on the counter. With or without the audience it had the same effect. “Being stupid how?”
“I threw it down after becoming extremely angry. It was a belated thought that it was an extremely stupid thing to do,” I muttered the words unenthusiastically.
“It always is, dear. Now you will explain why you broke a relatively new phone without a thought. We both know you aren’t the type to go about throwing tantrums over nothing.” The elevator chimed again and the doors opened to reveal another silent hallway.
“I fell,” I replied dumbly as we stepped out and slowly began toward the lobby.
There was silence on the other end of the phone. She wasn’t having that explanation for a minute. “I had a fall at one of the places we stopped here in Scotland. Let’s just say I was trapped there until help came a little while later.”
Her voice was a few decibels. “If this has anything to do with Bam I will have his-”
“Bam didn’t do anything wrong, mom. I wasn’t paying attention and was somewhere I probably shouldn’t have been. All that matters is that I am safe and came away from it with a few scratches and bruises.” The words hurriedly rushed from my mouth to defend Bam and the trip before this could turn into an argument over whether I should be there or not.
“Fine, we’ll talk about everything that happened while you were gone when you get home in a few months.” She meant it too. If there was anything that made my mother formidable it was the fact that she didn’t just let sleeping dogs lie, not to mention her photographic memory retaining every conversation she had and every sight she saw.
“Of course, I love you and will call you again in a few days.”
“I love you too, dear. Don’t get into too much more trouble.” After a few seconds I heard the line go dead and hung up myself.
Missy took back the phone, a knowing smile on her face. I gazed at my cousin as she set the phone in her purse. She didn’t say anything as we made our way outside and towards the bus. She may not have spoken, but I had a good idea she was thinking about my mother versus Bam. No doubt she found the idea hilarious. Shaking my head I removed the elastic band from my wrist and pulled my hair into a messy bun. If I left it there any longer I would have a burn from all the nervous fiddling I had been doing this morning.
It was nice to see her treating me semi-normal again. Last night had been made longer than necessary if you asked me. Waking up to the invitation of a bath had been amazing. I had been sore, dirty, and baths were always a welcome sight. Ville had left almost immediately upon waking me. He had bid me good night sweetly with a hug then left to head toward his suite. It was the last peaceful moment of the evening. Once I was alone with Missy I all but melted into the tub and its frothy foam of bubbles.
Missy had hovered over me the entire night like a worried mother hen. While endearing, it had made me worry about my sanity. Falling down a hole with the guarantee that someone would eventually find me was far better than some of my experiences in the last few weeks.
There was a definite outcome to yesterday’s events while nothing definite could be said about Dunn or Chris for that matter. At least I could honestly say Chris was a distant problem and if he needed to be dealt with again it would wait for another five months. Dunn on the other hand was here and he was creating a predicament even as I made my way up the steps of the bus. I chose to ignore it to the best of my abilities as we crested the stairwell and turned into the isle to take our seat.
“Hello boys.” Missy smiled charmingly, like it hadn’t taken us almost twenty minutes more than necessary to come out to the bus. I kept a distant smile on my face and bobbed my head in greeting.
Ville POV
No one’s eyes left the swaying girl at the center of the group. She had been tired that morning at breakfast, and it still showed now, but she continued forward as if it didn’t matter. Olivia was acting so relaxed and composed, yet everyone else was on edge waiting for the next disaster to occur. She seemed to be a magnet for trouble: mentally disturbed boyfriends, getting us thrown in jail, fighting with Dunn, and add to that falling into a cellar. No one was willing to risk another chance of some catastrophe occurring and everyone was willing to step forward as her knight to fight it off. Though, I wouldn’t be surprised if all it served to do was annoy her.
A gentle mist had over taken the rain from earlier making the outing more enjoyable and the cemetery more breathtaking. While we moved as a group, making steady progress through the headstones, Olivia continued to bustle off every few minutes to investigate things closer. She wasn’t much for guided tours from what I could tell.
“Ville! Look at this mausoleum. The design is breathtaking.” She scurried over to a grave at our left motioning eagerly for my accompaniment.
I came up behind her, hands in my pockets. “It is certainly something to strike awe in a person.”
The group had wondered a little ahead of us as we examined the tomb. It was the first time I had been alone with her since Dunn’s warning. Despite what he may think I still couldn’t see anything wrong with our relationship. I had even spent most of the time since I slammed the door trying to see how we interacted from every angle. There was no denying that I took extra time and consideration with her, and had found myself coming back out of my shell after years of mental reclusion and workaholic habits. She made being my old self easy. I had accepted that what I thought to be the concept of love was a myth that I had been following ignorantly for years. Now I saw that there may still be hope for my romantic sentiments. Not as Dunn may have seen it, but as a poet may interpreted it.
Since meeting Olivia three weeks ago I had felt more inspired to want life, to live life again. Very little made me aspire toward that goal anymore and I wasn’t going to give up anything that did. Clinging to my music as a lifeline to survive was nowhere near as refreshing as simply enjoying the breath I still had in me. Dunn could bitch all he wanted about betraying Bam’s trust and taking advantage, but I wanted to be my old self, and I wanted to be in Olivia’s life, and I was going to do just that.
Her voice brought me back to attention. “I really am glad I came, despite how tired I was this morning.”
She stood beaming at me, like usual. While she had not made an attempt to hide her exhaustion she still looked as vivacious as ever. A messy bun had her hair sticking out at random angles and her bangs falling windswept around her face. It only appeared thoughtfully artistic. The clothes from this morning’s brunch were wrinkled; yet all I could tell was that the baggy layers made her look like a bohemian blue blood, if that even existed.
I leaned against the mausoleum next to her, gazing back at the crew as I spoke. “To tell the truth, I was worried you wouldn’t. You would have been so disappointed later this week when you were back to yourself.”
“For knowing me such a short time, you know me too well.” Her laughter echoed of the stone like a bell drawing the attention of our group. She waved over at them lazily before gradually dropping her hand and continuing. “I would have been completely devastated to have missed it. While I live in the part of America with the most architectural and artistic history, nothing can top the depth of Europe’s in many respects.”
That gave me an idea. “I will have to take you on a tour of everything to see when we arrive in Finland.”
She clapped her hands together in her excitement and bounced away from the stone wall in a whimsical twirl. “I will hold you to that. I hope that you will invite everyone in the band also; a true tour of Helsinki with the natives.”
“No doubt they would all love to come with.” Pushing away from the structure myself I walked over to where she stood. We made our way back to the group, in no particular hurry.
“Are you sure? I mean I wouldn’t force them if they didn’t want to.” As our steps progressed forward she idly ran her fingers over solitary headstones sculptures. She was worrying her lip again, a tendency I had come to notice recently.
“Yesterday they became quite attached to you.”
Stopping she settled her weight against a grave marker in the shape of a Celtic cross. “I don’t know; all we talked about was restoration. Not something to become attached over.”
I waved away the comment dismissively. “Trust me when I say you proved yourself by talking about something other than what they expected.”
“If you say so,” she murmured as she shifted an eyebrow.
“Plus, Linde hasn’t said anything, but you have the same name as his daughter. He had a soft spot the minute he knew that,” I said and nudged her with my elbow playfully, eliciting a soft giggle. She pushed herself from the granite of her temporary backrest and the giggle was abruptly cut off by a hiss.
“What is it?” My eyes snapped to her right hand that was now cradled close to her face.
Her mouth was pulled into a grimace and her eyes were running the length of the jagged edges of a cut. “I reopened one of the cuts from my fall.”
“Damn it, you need to stop hurting yourself, darling.” Taking her hand in my own I took a look at the damage for myself.
“Oh, it’s not even going to scar. Don’t worry so much.” Her finger ran along the rip in the heel of her palm. Something stirred in my chest; maybe, the instinct to protect this young woman. An instinct I believed to be dead until her arrival in my life.
“Don’t rub your fingers all over it.” Brushing away her probing digit I pulled a handkerchief from my pocket and wiped away some of the blood. “I’m officially not letting you out of my sight.”
“Ville it’s just a cut, far less dire than yesterday. It’s my fault for being absent-minded” Her tone was close to whine as I marched as back over to the group. They were standing near the bus seemingly waiting me and Olivia to make our way over. I ignored their looks and went about taking the first aid kit from Missy’s bag that was set on the ground.
Sadly, being back with the group meant we were back with Dunn, who came directly over to Olivia. He ignored the annoyed look on her face and grabbed her hand. “What happened?”
“She got a cut that’s all.” I brushed away Dunn’s efforts in annoyance, it was clear that Olivia wasn’t extremely excited about his attention either. Quickly I used a cleaning wipe to remove the dirt, set some gauze on the cut, and taped it down.
Everyone was already heading back onto the bus as I put the excess supplies away and picked Missy’s bag off the ground. Dunn looked back as he went up the stairs. His face held a look that spoke volumes about how he felt with the situation. I rolled my eyes and gave my attention back to the girl who was currently examining my doctor skills.
“You are almost too sweet for your own good sometimes, you know that?” She smirked coyly before leaning up on her tip toes and lightly pressed her lips against my cheek. Her lips were velvety and warm on my cool skin. I stood still as she lowered herself and grinned at me sweetly while blushing lightly. Her hand stayed gently set on my arm as she gazed up at me.
“Don’t tell Dunn I did that. He would be livid.” Winking she skipped up onto the bus and out of my sight. It took me a moment to pull myself back to earth and follow her.
There were only two things on my mind as I set myself in a seat next to Bam. What the hell just happened? And, why they hell did I react that way?
A/N: First, I’m sorry for the long wait, but I’m proud to announce I completed my AA with a relatively good GPA and got accepted in to my top choice (and only choice) of college for transfer. Thanks to everyone for the comments and encouragements from the last chapter. I loved the feedback from people. It really helped me understand what aspects of the story I am getting across to my audience. That way I can change some of the things I place emphasis on. Also, very soon, Ville will start to show signs that he’s not as carefree as he may seem. Mwahahaha, I love being the evil mastermind. I’m excited for a summer filled with updates. Comment and pimp the story ; ) ♥ My goal is to know that at least 10 people still like the story enough to leave a comment.
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