(no subject)
I discovered some odd things today. I love it when this happens. I constantly learn about myself this way, because I discover new quirks or things that make me tick. Thanks to my step-father I've discovered that I LOVE to be alone, even more than I thought I did. He told me he likes to go to movies on his own just to be alone for awhile. Thinking on it, I went to see Avatar 3D last Sunday. I had a blast by myself. I'm not an overly social person by nature, but I do just fine with nobody else around. That being said, I did it again today. I took myself out on a date, so to speak. I went to the mall and spent thirty-six dollars on thirteen books. Gotta love major blowout sales. Have to hate the fact that my favourite bookstore is closing. And the nearest one now? Forty miles away. Fuck my life! But I got some good books today, I think. I got some authors I know and some I don't. It was successful.
After that I got some cards for birthdays coming up and some awesometastic keychains. Including an Alice in Wonderland one! I love it. Michael's came next. I recently got this hideous white designerish bag from a coworker. Right now, it's ugly as shit. I'm not lying here. So I decided I'm going to make all pyratey. Just for me! I got some paint and brushes at Michael's and I'm going to go to town on that bitch. It's gonna have an Emilie Autumn kinda feel. (Although now I'm highly considering giving it an Avatar feel. I can't decide) That's gonna be my kick ass project soon. Hopefully, anyway.
To continue with my day, I saw Avatar 3D again today. I kid you not, that movie is rapidly becoming my favourite of all time. It's coming in very very close to NBC. That one will always have its own section of my heart, but I think Avatar is clearing out old junk to have a place of its own too. I can't explain why I love it so much, I just know that I do. It incorporates fantasy and science all into one amazing package. Finding love amongst another species, which is probably also why I love it, and all that good shit. I want to jump into the screen and become one of The People. Be a Na'Vi. But I can't, and that strikes me hard. Like nothing else. My dreams get built up hard core. When I want something, I want it with my entirety. When I get engrossed in a book series, those characters are my friends, my family, and in some cases, they become my lovers. They mean the world to me. That's something I don't know either. I like books more than people. I relate better or something. I guess books can't hurt you as much. Fiction is always better than truth, right? Sometimes. Sometimes it's harder because you can't be there. I can't be there. I have to live in this world. Not the one I know parallels it. That's the one I want. The life after this one. Where I can walk with my God and Goddess, and maybe even a mermaid, nymph, or dragon. My head is so far up in the clouds, and that's just where I want it. I understand everything that goes on in the world. I'm not ignorant of our problems. I can be rational. I'm an intelligent girl. They say intelligent girls are more depressed because we know what the world is really like. That's probably very true. The world is fucking depressing. You can't say you don't agree.
Now that this has turned into a major rant, I'll move on. As I was driving home, I started thinking. Never a good thing, I assure you. When I drive and think, I think about things I want. Like Avatar. When I drive and think, I get reckless. My mind focuses on everything but driving, and it goes into overdrive. It thinks, I want this, and fuck everything else. So I got a little reckless tonight. I wanted to just keep driving and never stop. I also discovered I really want a car that's a stick. It would suit my moods so well. It doesn't have to be an expensive as hell sporty car. But I need a stick. To feel that power rumble, mine to command. I also want a motorcycle. That would be fucking amazing. The power roaring between my legs and just go. Race off whenever life gets too demanding and I've decided I've had enough. Which would be often. A long stretch of road and my mind could wander. Not too much, but enough to content me.
But for now? I'm stuck here for a few more months, and have to content myself with dreaming too hard. With always grasping for that star just out of reach. With never truly being satisfied. Life's a bitch. So I'll just have to make it mine. For now, fuck reality. I'll live in my dreams and my insanity, where I'm happiest. Where I love being. Sanity is vastly overrated. My insanity keeps me going every day, keeps me fighting.
Love and Bloody Muffins,
Pyrate
After that I got some cards for birthdays coming up and some awesometastic keychains. Including an Alice in Wonderland one! I love it. Michael's came next. I recently got this hideous white designerish bag from a coworker. Right now, it's ugly as shit. I'm not lying here. So I decided I'm going to make all pyratey. Just for me! I got some paint and brushes at Michael's and I'm going to go to town on that bitch. It's gonna have an Emilie Autumn kinda feel. (Although now I'm highly considering giving it an Avatar feel. I can't decide) That's gonna be my kick ass project soon. Hopefully, anyway.
To continue with my day, I saw Avatar 3D again today. I kid you not, that movie is rapidly becoming my favourite of all time. It's coming in very very close to NBC. That one will always have its own section of my heart, but I think Avatar is clearing out old junk to have a place of its own too. I can't explain why I love it so much, I just know that I do. It incorporates fantasy and science all into one amazing package. Finding love amongst another species, which is probably also why I love it, and all that good shit. I want to jump into the screen and become one of The People. Be a Na'Vi. But I can't, and that strikes me hard. Like nothing else. My dreams get built up hard core. When I want something, I want it with my entirety. When I get engrossed in a book series, those characters are my friends, my family, and in some cases, they become my lovers. They mean the world to me. That's something I don't know either. I like books more than people. I relate better or something. I guess books can't hurt you as much. Fiction is always better than truth, right? Sometimes. Sometimes it's harder because you can't be there. I can't be there. I have to live in this world. Not the one I know parallels it. That's the one I want. The life after this one. Where I can walk with my God and Goddess, and maybe even a mermaid, nymph, or dragon. My head is so far up in the clouds, and that's just where I want it. I understand everything that goes on in the world. I'm not ignorant of our problems. I can be rational. I'm an intelligent girl. They say intelligent girls are more depressed because we know what the world is really like. That's probably very true. The world is fucking depressing. You can't say you don't agree.
Now that this has turned into a major rant, I'll move on. As I was driving home, I started thinking. Never a good thing, I assure you. When I drive and think, I think about things I want. Like Avatar. When I drive and think, I get reckless. My mind focuses on everything but driving, and it goes into overdrive. It thinks, I want this, and fuck everything else. So I got a little reckless tonight. I wanted to just keep driving and never stop. I also discovered I really want a car that's a stick. It would suit my moods so well. It doesn't have to be an expensive as hell sporty car. But I need a stick. To feel that power rumble, mine to command. I also want a motorcycle. That would be fucking amazing. The power roaring between my legs and just go. Race off whenever life gets too demanding and I've decided I've had enough. Which would be often. A long stretch of road and my mind could wander. Not too much, but enough to content me.
But for now? I'm stuck here for a few more months, and have to content myself with dreaming too hard. With always grasping for that star just out of reach. With never truly being satisfied. Life's a bitch. So I'll just have to make it mine. For now, fuck reality. I'll live in my dreams and my insanity, where I'm happiest. Where I love being. Sanity is vastly overrated. My insanity keeps me going every day, keeps me fighting.
Love and Bloody Muffins,
Pyrate