Nov 17, 2008 16:35
I intend to write to date, contrary to some of your advice, to tell him once again that I'm not interested. Thing is, I don't really want to see him again. I met housemate's recent online find - she really likes him, and I did too (for her, and as a friend - I don't want to nab him from her, but would consider him if he was going spare...). He had a nice voice, and was comfortable chatting. I thought to myself: I want to see him again. Just chill and hang out. And I can't say that of my date. So will message him - likely tomorrow - to that effect.
And last evening, I went for coffee with a friend. It was nice, and she seemed happier than she has been in the past. She's the one who I've found difficult to be with of late. There's no deep connect there, but we've known eachother for long enough, and I'm very comfortable around her - it was the best time we've had together in a while.
But after! I was in town on Saturday, getting picks and a capo for the cheap guitar I bought a few weeks ago (and following that train of thought, I miss the nails on my left hand, but am happy about bing able to produce a chord or two). I passed a church in the city, where I've rung the bells before, and they had a sign saying that they had a Taizé service on Sunday. I've been meaning to try out a Taizé service for a while, and was very glad that I did, as I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed the chants, which were melodic, and half of them were in other languages. They would be two or four phrases long, and we repeated them at least six times each, so I learned them the first or second time around, and then could raise my voice somewhat with them. And then there was silence too. I in theory quite like the Quaker services with silence, but I really rather miss the singing - it's my favourite part of a church service - singing amongst a host of others, one's voice lost in the mass, whilst that host of voices simultaneously allows a kind of aural cover under which I can play a bit with harmonies and what not, and not be heard so much if I get it wrong. I really liked the combination of silence and chants - there was a silent kind of 'sermon' time for 10 minutes of reflection. I will be going back, most definitely. Although it's only once a month, and the pastor afterwards was explaining that they have very few of their regular church goers come to the Taizé services, and draw on a different, wider clientele. Including me!
They also had incense going in the back of the church, and it was my first experience in a church with incense. I could imagine how awe-some and different it must have felt to parishioners in the middle ages and what not - these grand spaces which look so different, sound so different, and smell so different from their daily lives. Visiting the Jewish Museum in Berlin had me thinking about how an author (architect/composer/etc - author in the broad sense of the word) creates the desired impact in a reader/audience. How, in that particular case, does the architect create a space of due solemnity and unsettlement? For places (books, films, etc) affect people differently, as they bring all their past experiences and memories to a work. I think senses such as smell and hearing are under-utilised in such cases.
I'm coming back stateside in less than a month - yay! I think I'm more homesick for my family than I realise, as my housemate's music-playing on Saturday made the half-conscious me think that she was both my sister and my mother in turn. I'm flying through LA (it does make sense - I'm doing research at the beginning of Jan outside of LA in a library), which will be interesting, but it means I will miss my east coast peeps. :-(
:-)