Trouble in Paradise
Obviously I knew this time would come. And, to some extent, I willed it to come. It's not because I'm a masochist (although I am) or I want to prove that I'm dysfunctional (again, this needs no proof.) And I've no need to garner sympathy- those days are long behind me. But yes, after 7 and a half months, we had our first real argument tonight. And it was over something very, very stupid, petty, trifling: his old high school vs my ex's high school (already a legitimate rival) in terms of academics. I told him I was not in a debating mood; he pressed and insisted. I didn't even fight back. But I couldn't deal with his condescending low voice and pregnant pauses, so I ended the conversation.
I'm not bothered by the fact that we fought; in a sense, I'm relieved. I've always wanted to see how he will react when he feels anger towards me. I'm just irked that after all of the insanity he's put up with from me- ex boyfriend, insecurity, jealousy, emotional baggage, antidepressants- it's something ridiculously petty that he chooses to fight about.
Of course, my roommate's friend, while stoned, insinuated that it's not about the school rivalry at all. He says that the fight must be the result of built up animosity and tension. Thank you, Stoner, I actually had not even thought of that, but now I'm able to worry about it. Great.
Anyway, I think all will be well in the morning, but I wonder- will this set a new pattern? Or will it make us closer?
I'm not bothered by the fact that we fought; in a sense, I'm relieved. I've always wanted to see how he will react when he feels anger towards me. I'm just irked that after all of the insanity he's put up with from me- ex boyfriend, insecurity, jealousy, emotional baggage, antidepressants- it's something ridiculously petty that he chooses to fight about.
Of course, my roommate's friend, while stoned, insinuated that it's not about the school rivalry at all. He says that the fight must be the result of built up animosity and tension. Thank you, Stoner, I actually had not even thought of that, but now I'm able to worry about it. Great.
Anyway, I think all will be well in the morning, but I wonder- will this set a new pattern? Or will it make us closer?