If you could do one irresponsible thing with no consequences, what would it be?
See, I do irresponsible things all of the time... they most definitely have consequences. I have a professional job (and am a professional lawyer.) I don't rarely use tricks, I follow the law to the letter as far as my clients are concerned. For this very reason, those that do not know me outside of work, don't really know me at all. Not that anyone really knows me, anyway.
[private]
Examples of irresponsibility? Drinking too much, not wearing my seat belt, keeping treacherous company, staying in unhealthy relationships, not thinking before--well, just not thinking. Etc. The list could go on forever. But I won't sit here and say like everyone else, "I do these things for the consequences." I certainly don't. Everything I do that might be considered destructive or irresponsible isn't done merely for the consequences. When I want to get a reaction out of someone, I know how to get it. I'm a master of manipulating, which comes with the territory. Part of being in my position is learning how to use charisma to get what you want. You have to engage people and get their attention. You need them to believe what you're fighting for. This isn't to say every move I make is thought out, or done specifically with the intention of getting a certain reaction. When I admit this though, it is invariably used against me. Everytime theres a disagreement. But, I love to play with people. My problem is I assume they're usually playing back.
I'm fully capable of being serious and am when it's needed. I take feelings and promises seriously. I take friendship seriously. The problem is, I spend so much of my time playing and trying to distract from the painful part of life, that when the time comes for me to be taken seriously no one does. Not really. I'm always doubted. I can't blame them. It's almost like, I'd rather people doubt me and blame it on myself than just have them not care and not know why. But it's how I protect myself. It's my way of coping with the shit I have to deal with. I keep a lot inside and no one ever asks. I make it impossible. I'm so extroverted about the trivial superficial stupid parts of my life (that a lot of people place importance on) that people assume they know me.
I guess what I would do is tell everyone how I really feel. Make myself completely vulnerable. It would be a fucking relief.
Muse: Victoria Gray
Fandom: Original Fiction
[private]
Examples of irresponsibility? Drinking too much, not wearing my seat belt, keeping treacherous company, staying in unhealthy relationships, not thinking before--well, just not thinking. Etc. The list could go on forever. But I won't sit here and say like everyone else, "I do these things for the consequences." I certainly don't. Everything I do that might be considered destructive or irresponsible isn't done merely for the consequences. When I want to get a reaction out of someone, I know how to get it. I'm a master of manipulating, which comes with the territory. Part of being in my position is learning how to use charisma to get what you want. You have to engage people and get their attention. You need them to believe what you're fighting for. This isn't to say every move I make is thought out, or done specifically with the intention of getting a certain reaction. When I admit this though, it is invariably used against me. Everytime theres a disagreement. But, I love to play with people. My problem is I assume they're usually playing back.
I'm fully capable of being serious and am when it's needed. I take feelings and promises seriously. I take friendship seriously. The problem is, I spend so much of my time playing and trying to distract from the painful part of life, that when the time comes for me to be taken seriously no one does. Not really. I'm always doubted. I can't blame them. It's almost like, I'd rather people doubt me and blame it on myself than just have them not care and not know why. But it's how I protect myself. It's my way of coping with the shit I have to deal with. I keep a lot inside and no one ever asks. I make it impossible. I'm so extroverted about the trivial superficial stupid parts of my life (that a lot of people place importance on) that people assume they know me.
I guess what I would do is tell everyone how I really feel. Make myself completely vulnerable. It would be a fucking relief.
Muse: Victoria Gray
Fandom: Original Fiction