“Let's turn on the air conditioner and build a fire”
This is the funniest conversation I’ve had in the past two weeks:
Lindsey (Vierthaler): “I had a one night stand with my ex last week.”
Me: “Which one? David?”
Lindsey: “Noooo. Never. He’s in prison now anyway.”
Me: “Umm…Okay. Who then?”
Lindsey: “Remember Reed?”
Me: “Yeah. His face was funny looking and he didn’t ever say anything.”
Lindsey: “But he had a hot soccer player body.”
Me: “And a distorted face, I hope you brown bagged him or it was really dark or both.”
Lindsey: “It doesn’t matter when you’re getting fucked from behind.”
Me: “I’ll have to take your word for it.”
That’s how we lead things off in this space.
As Cities Burn is headlining a show here at Headway Park on the 30th. I’m going to go and scream all the songs and be as embarrassing as possible for whoever goes with me (poor Casey). I have no idea who they’re playing with, except that they’re headlining. They keep coming back and I’m surprised, not that I’m complaining mind you, they could come every month and I’d watch, it’s just that most bands in this genre or related genre’s go the Tulsa/Lawrence route and bypass Wichita. But apparently they’re single-handedly trying to revive the post-hardcore scene here? (Revive might be the wrong word choice, as it implies there was a post-hardcore scene here in the first place) Oh well, for $12 a ticket I’m there.
Every time a new season of American Idol airs I’ll watch it, mostly because the auditions are hilarious. Once the actual competition starts, my interest usually fades. Every year previously I was amazed at how delusional some of the performers were about their actual talent. They authentically seemed amazed that they weren’t chosen. This year, I’ve become convinced that people are going on here trying to be horrific, with the hopes they’ll be on TV for 2 minutes. Which isn’t a bad idea; this is how it would go if I auditioned.
Me: “Hello.”
Randy Jackson: “Hey Dennis, how old are you?”
Me: “I’m 19 and from Wichita Kansas.”
Randy: “Do you have what it takes to be the next American Idol?”
Me: “Golly, I sure hope so.”
Randy: “What will you be singing?”
Me: “I’m going to sing Towering Flesh, by Pig Destroyer.”
Randy: “….Okay then whenever you’re ready.”
Me: *incoherent screaming*
Randy: “Dawg, not good dawg. You’re just screaming dawg.”
Simon Cowell: “Absolutely dreadful. I don’t mean to be rude, but you sound like a gorilla having an enema.”
Paula: *stern glare*
Simon: “What? Just being honest.”
Paula: “I don’t think singing is for you. What else do you like to do?”
Me: “Taiwanese prostitutes.”
Then I would get rejected, and one of two things always seem to happen at this point. I would either storm out and go into a tirade cussing and screaming about how stupid the judges were for not selecting me, or I would sulk out there crying with my family members telling me that the judges were stupid and that I was actually the most talented singer in the country and I wouldn’t need this show to ‘make it’. (However, in my case, if I started crying about this Rebecca would probably say I was retarded and walk away.)
Final Destination III is opening in a few weeks. That title is amusing. They should’ve subtitled it Final Destination III: This Time It Really Is Final Unless We Make A Shitton Of Money Then We’ll Make Another One And This One Wont Be Final Either
God it would suck to have to do marquee on that title.
I keep waiting for a sequel to The Day After Tomorrow. The Day After Tomorrow 2: The Day After the Day After Tomorrow. I have way too much fun with this.
Yes, I know this is all coming from a Final Fantasy fan. Yes, I know there are twelve of those and I don’t find humor it the title at all. You can go to hell.
There’s always been debate over whether major league sports and their fans are ready for an openly gay player. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens whenever someone comes out. But since very few people seem to have a problem playing with and cheering for all the wife beaters, thieves, racists, addicts, drunks, and absentee fathers found in sports, why would there be a problem with a few gay players?
Keep in mind that is coming from an avid sports fan. I care deeply about sports, probably way too much. That being said, I just want to take the opportunity before the NBA all-star game to remind everyone that Jason Kidd is a wife beater. A scumbag. Let’s not forget that. You know that beautiful women sitting courtside that the camera shows every time Kidd makes a good play? Yeah, he once punched her in the face. This man has been voted to start two all-star games by the fans. Yet these same fans would be outraged over an openly gay player.
Recently, it was revealed that the Bush administration has been engaged in an illegal spying program. Among other things, wiretapping phone conversations, eavesdropping without a warrant, and monitoring websites in order to check on possible terrorists. I’m shocked that the Bush administration is engaged in illegal activity. Absolutely shocked. Look how shocked I am. Unfortunately, you can’t, because this is text and all.
Now, I’m not a terrorist, but I’m always trying to bring in new traffic. So, I welcome the Bush Administration to the greatness of my livejournal with the following keywords (which I’m sure their search engines will come across): OSAMA BIN LADEN IS NEATO … THE TALIBAN IS THE MAN … I HATE FREEDOM … I’M AN EVILDOER … HUSSEIN IS MY HOMEBOY!!!
I’m done here again for two weeks. I’m sure you wont miss this too much. This is … I’m not sure what the point of this is. I guess it’s basically to sit around all day and wait for people to do stupid things so I can make fun of them for it. It’s really quite rewarding.
Lindsey (Vierthaler): “I had a one night stand with my ex last week.”
Me: “Which one? David?”
Lindsey: “Noooo. Never. He’s in prison now anyway.”
Me: “Umm…Okay. Who then?”
Lindsey: “Remember Reed?”
Me: “Yeah. His face was funny looking and he didn’t ever say anything.”
Lindsey: “But he had a hot soccer player body.”
Me: “And a distorted face, I hope you brown bagged him or it was really dark or both.”
Lindsey: “It doesn’t matter when you’re getting fucked from behind.”
Me: “I’ll have to take your word for it.”
That’s how we lead things off in this space.
As Cities Burn is headlining a show here at Headway Park on the 30th. I’m going to go and scream all the songs and be as embarrassing as possible for whoever goes with me (poor Casey). I have no idea who they’re playing with, except that they’re headlining. They keep coming back and I’m surprised, not that I’m complaining mind you, they could come every month and I’d watch, it’s just that most bands in this genre or related genre’s go the Tulsa/Lawrence route and bypass Wichita. But apparently they’re single-handedly trying to revive the post-hardcore scene here? (Revive might be the wrong word choice, as it implies there was a post-hardcore scene here in the first place) Oh well, for $12 a ticket I’m there.
Every time a new season of American Idol airs I’ll watch it, mostly because the auditions are hilarious. Once the actual competition starts, my interest usually fades. Every year previously I was amazed at how delusional some of the performers were about their actual talent. They authentically seemed amazed that they weren’t chosen. This year, I’ve become convinced that people are going on here trying to be horrific, with the hopes they’ll be on TV for 2 minutes. Which isn’t a bad idea; this is how it would go if I auditioned.
Me: “Hello.”
Randy Jackson: “Hey Dennis, how old are you?”
Me: “I’m 19 and from Wichita Kansas.”
Randy: “Do you have what it takes to be the next American Idol?”
Me: “Golly, I sure hope so.”
Randy: “What will you be singing?”
Me: “I’m going to sing Towering Flesh, by Pig Destroyer.”
Randy: “….Okay then whenever you’re ready.”
Me: *incoherent screaming*
Randy: “Dawg, not good dawg. You’re just screaming dawg.”
Simon Cowell: “Absolutely dreadful. I don’t mean to be rude, but you sound like a gorilla having an enema.”
Paula: *stern glare*
Simon: “What? Just being honest.”
Paula: “I don’t think singing is for you. What else do you like to do?”
Me: “Taiwanese prostitutes.”
Then I would get rejected, and one of two things always seem to happen at this point. I would either storm out and go into a tirade cussing and screaming about how stupid the judges were for not selecting me, or I would sulk out there crying with my family members telling me that the judges were stupid and that I was actually the most talented singer in the country and I wouldn’t need this show to ‘make it’. (However, in my case, if I started crying about this Rebecca would probably say I was retarded and walk away.)
Final Destination III is opening in a few weeks. That title is amusing. They should’ve subtitled it Final Destination III: This Time It Really Is Final Unless We Make A Shitton Of Money Then We’ll Make Another One And This One Wont Be Final Either
God it would suck to have to do marquee on that title.
I keep waiting for a sequel to The Day After Tomorrow. The Day After Tomorrow 2: The Day After the Day After Tomorrow. I have way too much fun with this.
Yes, I know this is all coming from a Final Fantasy fan. Yes, I know there are twelve of those and I don’t find humor it the title at all. You can go to hell.
There’s always been debate over whether major league sports and their fans are ready for an openly gay player. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens whenever someone comes out. But since very few people seem to have a problem playing with and cheering for all the wife beaters, thieves, racists, addicts, drunks, and absentee fathers found in sports, why would there be a problem with a few gay players?
Keep in mind that is coming from an avid sports fan. I care deeply about sports, probably way too much. That being said, I just want to take the opportunity before the NBA all-star game to remind everyone that Jason Kidd is a wife beater. A scumbag. Let’s not forget that. You know that beautiful women sitting courtside that the camera shows every time Kidd makes a good play? Yeah, he once punched her in the face. This man has been voted to start two all-star games by the fans. Yet these same fans would be outraged over an openly gay player.
Recently, it was revealed that the Bush administration has been engaged in an illegal spying program. Among other things, wiretapping phone conversations, eavesdropping without a warrant, and monitoring websites in order to check on possible terrorists. I’m shocked that the Bush administration is engaged in illegal activity. Absolutely shocked. Look how shocked I am. Unfortunately, you can’t, because this is text and all.
Now, I’m not a terrorist, but I’m always trying to bring in new traffic. So, I welcome the Bush Administration to the greatness of my livejournal with the following keywords (which I’m sure their search engines will come across): OSAMA BIN LADEN IS NEATO … THE TALIBAN IS THE MAN … I HATE FREEDOM … I’M AN EVILDOER … HUSSEIN IS MY HOMEBOY!!!
I’m done here again for two weeks. I’m sure you wont miss this too much. This is … I’m not sure what the point of this is. I guess it’s basically to sit around all day and wait for people to do stupid things so I can make fun of them for it. It’s really quite rewarding.