I understand
No matter how much i tell myself death is a natuarl part of life. It never seems to make it any easier.
In all my knowledge of what i think life is all about. I will always be stumped when it comes to dying.
Maybe its simply because its often at times fast and uncontrolable. Or maybe its just not knowing what
happens to us after. My grand mother was most defintely a fighter. A sarcastic one at that. Alot of my family
thinks she was the orginal smart ass, as well as the first hard ass in this family. She started a chain reaction that
blew up my family like a balloon. After months knowing she wasn't going to make it much longer. It seems
i am be side myself. She chained smoked for 40 something years and probably didn't have the best diet. But
thumped her nose and kept on any way. I wish i had known her a little bit better. But things happen a certain
way because they have to. It makes me wonder what her life was like though. If she went to high school parties.
If she had a high school sweet heart. And if that was the person she married. I wonder if she ever felt alone, or if
she wasn't the best person she could be. But then again my grand mother would never even think of those things.
Because she was a bad ass. And bad asses never mess up. They never second guess them selves.As much as i am
losing, i think i am gaining just as much. With her passing she is teaching me a big part of being alive. And thats just it.
Being alive and fuck whatever any ones else thinks. Be true to yourself and you'll never be unhappy...
My grand mother. The original cocky bad ass. I will miss her..