063. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Okay, boozehounds and crunkatonics. While I'm just as chipper at the green light for a Citywide frat party, here's something to chew on. Alcohol poisoning might be what the deities are out for. Think of it, an easy way to pick off a few of the masses.

Keep an eye out for the big tell tale signs:

• Mental confusion, stupor, coma, or person cannot be roused
• Vomiting.
• Seizures.
• Slow breathing (fewer than eight breaths per minute).
• Irregular breathing (10 seconds or more between breaths).
• Hypothermia (low body temperature), bluish skin color (unless you're blue), paleness.

This party needs more wet t-shirts. It can be done indoors. That's why we've got a central heating system.

Anyway, another idea. If you're truly a square and don't want to man up and drink your 100 bottles, why not mix the root beer and circulate. Then you really won't die and keep on living your life as a wienie.