Title: Love Madness
Autor: Vicky Yun Kamiya
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Characters: Lady Une, Treize Kushrenada, Midii Une and others
Genre: drama / angst / action/ romanc
Rating: K+
Chapters: 4
Status: In progress
Año: 2006
Plot: Love, madness and death. Lady Une´s life wasn´t easy. Her mother, his cousins, his brothers in arms... All contributed to becoming who she is today.
Note 1: To undestand the plot of this you might need to have read Gundam W Episode 0 or at least know what it´s about.
Note 2: T
This story appears as a Sidestory my other fic "Lost wars"; that was growing and adding fans, but don´t worry you can read separately.
Love Madness (Lady Une's Story)
Chapter 2: The life of infamous women, part 2
Two days later, we went back to the reservation for more food. The moment we entered the room, I felt the danger around us: in the smell of alcohol from that guy, in the silence that surrounded us. How couldn't we be in danger, we were only two girls with nobody to watch over us. And adults detect that, they know there are some people nobody would claim over anything. Nevertheless, I wasn't worried, I had a plan. But what I didn't know was that they had a plan for me, too. That day I didn't take my doll but my hands weren't empty.
"You two... You came back." The man says before swallowing more gin.
"Anne..."
"Give me the tickets, you wait outside." The elder orders as she shows her the gun on her jacket.
Midii obeys and goes out to the patio. She looks at the sky: she thinks about how the sun is already leaving Earth and that's why it's colder. At that moment, a desperate scream claims for her.
"Help! Midii!"
The girl runs in to find her cousin pinned by the arms to the table asking for help in vain. She tries to reach the gun in her jacket but she can't, then the soldier takes it from her and throws it to the floor.
"And what did you do?" Treize's daughter asks, shaking almost with the answer.
"Nothing. I couldn't do anything. I was petrified with terror. It was the only time I asked for help to my mother wherever she was. I remember he took the gun from me and it fell several feet away on the floor. He probably thought Midii had run away. But she didn't.
"ANNE!"
A few feet separated Midii from the gun, she runs and dives for it. She aims the cannon towards Anne and her attacker, her hands shaking as if they were trying to part from her body. The metal feels cold, and the fear is freezing. Midii wants to say something, threaten the man to let go of her cousin...
... But the gunshot goes out first.
By the time she reacts, her hands are covered in gunpowder. She lifts her eyes to the front; the bullet had gone through barely a few inches from her cousin and had lodged itself right in the soldier's heart, causing him instant death. Now the metal turns hot in her hands. Horrified, she drops the gun, which falls to the ground.
Midii can't react; she wants to say something, but the words don't come out. She's still shaking, so much that her legs won't answer.
"I... I didn't..." She whispers, her voice drowned by her tears.
"He asked for it. You didn't do anything," Anne answers as she wipes her own tears.
"It was an accident..." She looks at her cousin. "We have to tell the truth! If we surrender, maybe we...!
"No, they won't believe us. We have to keep a cool mind, we have to think."
Anne goes back to where the body is and pulling out her wool sweater, she takes the gun and cleans it to put it back inside her clothes.
"They must've heard the gun shot, they'll soon be coming to this area. We have to get rid of the gun. If there's no gun, there's no killer."
"I don't know if I'll be able..." Her young cousin tells her, her legs and voice shaking. "You go, I'll stay..."
"Trust me, we'll get out... We'll go through the suppliers' door and then we'll follow the river's shore."
Anne starts to walk, Midii makes an effort to follow her, but she can't, her nerves forbid her.
"I can't, I can't..."
"Yes, we can. Just keep close to me."
A noise of barking dogs can be heard nearby. Anne grabs her cousin's hand and they run towards the exit door.
Fortunately, we didn't have any problems with the other door. Then we went to the shore to throw the gun in the river. We stayed there for a long time, watching the water without saying anything. Each one of us was guilty and innocent at the same time. Before dusk, we made our way back, Midii was nervous of what her brothers would say when they saw us coming without the food, but that was a minor problem.
When we reached the house, my uncle had already heard the news in the shelter and what was worse, he had just had an idea to open the drawer where he kept his gun. It wasn't difficult for him to put things together. Besides, Midii didn't know how to pretend. No, I'd say she couldn't handle her nerves. No matter how much she tried to conceal it, the moment her father shut the kitchen door and locked us there, she broke down.
Bejamin Une watches the girls seriously. He has his belt ready in case he needs it. His daughter is very scared; she never saw her father so mad as to threaten to hit her. Anne says nothing. His eyes stay on Anne before asking:
"Which one of you was it?"
Anne and Midii look at each other; they could lie, betray each other, and they could also tell the truth. If Midii told the truth, she's be punished, but he wouldn't be too hard on her. But if Anne was accused, it might be the end for the older girl. She could immolate like Jesus, or betray like Judas Iscariot.
"It was me father, I did it! I didn't mean to, I just didn't know how to use the gun! I didn't mean it! Forgive me, please!"
"What happened?"
"We went to get the boxes... and Anne had been told to go alone, so I stayed at the door waiting, and I heard her shout! Then I went in and I didn't know what he was going to do to her and I got scared and... It shot itself, it shot itself! I swear for mom it shot itself!
The little one starts to cry while her cousin says nothing. She doesn't have to, she did nothing, but in a way she feels guilty.
"And what did you do with the gun?"
"We cleaned the fingerprints... and threw it in the river." The elder dares to speak. "Then we came back as usual. Nobody stopped us or asked anything."
"What are we going to do, dad?"
"Nothing. For now." Benjamin answers. "We're going to go on with our lives the way we are. But we can't go to ask for coupons to the dependence anymore, so we'll have to find food somewhere else."
"Forgive me, please, dad."
"It's ok, Midii. How can I not forgive you if you're my only daughter?" He says and hugs her.
That was my cousin's way of processing what happened. I remember that my uncle went to her and hugged her until she stopped crying. But he didn't even look at me. To him, I was to blame, I was the one who had turned his little girl into a killer.
But, even if it was evident that I was stronger in dealing with pressure, I also had to process my guilt. Not guilt for what I'd done, in that sense I was innocent. It was the guilt for what I'd been unable to do by my own inaction. I was very scared too and had suffered as much as she had. That night, I couldn't sleep, I had nightmares.
"And what were you dreaming about?"
"Well, it was strange, like all dreams. I remember I saw my father leaving through the door of my old house and my mother crying and begging him not to leave..."
"But you said you didn't remember anything about your father, nor how he was or when he left." Marimeia asks intrigued.
"Yes, it's true. I couldn't remember any of that. Although now that I think of it, I did remember..." A question comes to Lady Une's mind. "Or was it a premonition of things to come? But let's not mix things up.
The dream was always the same. Every night, my parents argued and then he left to never return. My mother held on to him and begged him not to leave. I was there, holding my doll and watching all of it... Then she asked me to do something to stop him from leaving, and I'd see myself with the age I was at that moment; I looked at my hands and instead of the doll, I was holding my uncle's gun. I pointed the gun at my father and shot him, and he fell to the floor... In a moment, men from the army came in through another door and held me. I screamed and asked my mother to help me, but when I turned to see her, she was in a pool of blood, dead on the floor... And then I woke up violently... Yes, that's how it was...
But the story didn't end there. That was just the beginning. Midii believed that everything was over, that after two months, there was no danger of being found, but I wasn't so sure. During that time, I was sleepless or having nightmares. And one of those nights of insomnia I got up and went to the kitchen to get water. When I was about to enter, I heard my uncle whispering with a man I didn't know. They were speaking about me, and about my mother. It was the only time I heard him say anything about her. In a way, she was almost as strange as my father to me.
"I'm worried about Anne." Benjamin Une says. "I'm afraid she inherited the same madness my sister had."
"You have to get rid of her." The other man answers. "You can hand her over to the army. They take care of the orphans there, they enlist them in the cadets school."
"I don't know, I... She's my sister's daughter...
"I loved my sister. She was a teenager when I was still in breeches." He gives a sad laugh. "We were never people of much money, we had to work to eat, even more so after our mother's death, but somehow we got by. Then she met that guy who ruined her life and we stopped seeing each other. I married my wife, God have her in His Glory, we had the children...
"There was a time we were very badly economically, our third child was born, then I went to see my sister and that's when I found out the guy had left her and with a daughter what was worse. Even then se wasn't well on her head, she yelled at me and threw me out. Me, her little brother. See? I'll never forget how I felt that day, that's why I don't want my children to get separated. We poor people all we have is our family."
"Well, that's why I thought about you, Benjamin." The other man answers. "In general, to go to live in the colonies, they request for a married couple with two children, but as you're a widower there would be an extra place. Perhaps if you ask for it, they'll give you another for the youngest one, but if you're five... It becomes more difficult, more so if the eldest girl isn't your daughter."
"But... my niece helps us some, but the truth is that it became more complicated because she can't adapt as she should. I think that's her father's genes because we could always settle with what we had. And now she's changed a lot, she behaves oddly."
"Has she done anything to you?"
Une remains silent; he thinks about the incident in the reservation, but he can't talk about it, so he just says:
"Not yet, but she'll soon become a danger to us all. I have four children and I can't allow them to be harmed. I don't want to abandon her like that, but I have to think about my family first."
The war was getting closer every day. The media told lies, they said there were no problems of any kind with the Colonies. But it was a lie. Earth was full of spies from the Colonies, and the Colonies were full of spies from the Alliance. Eastern Europe was one of the first afflicted areas. In the town where we lived, everyone had started to evacuate. But we still remained...
Anne is looking out of the window with her doll on her arms. In the room, Midii is dragging a bag.
"Everyone's leaving. The next door neighbours left some furniture."
"Of course. Who would remain in this sick town?" Her older cousin answers. "Soon, all that's left will be the rats and us."
"We can't leave, dad has a job at the shipyard. Look Anne, they left us clothes. There are some dresses. Want to try some?"
"You use them. I don't need anything."
The blonde girl doesn't answer, she just lowers her eyes and sits on the bed. Her older cousin speaks again:
"I'm not like you. One day, I'll grow up and go far away from this place, you'll see. I won't eat these junk of wear these rags ever again."
"I can't leave, my father and brothers need me."
"Forget about them!" Anne yells. "Do you think they wouldn't leave you if they had the chance?"
"If you could, would you go away?"
"Of course I will! I'll go far away, where nobody knows me!" She exclaims before leaving the room.
The girl runs out of the room towards the empty lot behind the house, and since she no longer has the gun, she starts throwing stones at the cans, getting little results from it. Midii is watching her through the window as one of her younger brothers enters the room.
"Sister, what's wrong with cousin Anne?" The boy asks.
"I don't know, Ben, I don't know..."
I still kept the porcelain doll with me. She had a huge red velvet dress, with beautiful flounces and a golden crown. It wasn't just any doll, it was the representation of a Russian Czarina and it was very expensive. Midii constantly looked at that doll, but I didn't let her touch it without my authorization. I know it was a selfish attitude, but it was just that everything had to be shared! The food, the room, the clothes. That was the only thing that really belonged to me. I was sick of it all...
But finally, the day came that I could stop caring about all of that. A green van parked in front of the house. It was a vehicle from the Alliance from the Terrestrial Sphere. An officer got out and asked to speak to my uncle on a delicate business: the death of a soldier of the reservation.
I was in the empty lot at that moment and I almost entered the house through the front door, but I saw the truck so I turned on my steps. My uncle tried to deny any knowledge of the matter, but it was evident they knew something.
"... And according to our investigation, a witness saw two girls leaving the reservation at the same time the death happened. The description matches that of your two daughters and it is a known fact that they used to get coupons, but that after that day, they haven't been seen again there."
"That's impossible... they're good girls, I..." Mr. Une tries to apologise for them, but in vain. "It's just they've had to help me, that's why I haven't sent them, but it's nothing in particular..."
"It's useless to hide the truth." The captain in charge of the investigation answers. "If you try to cover for them, you'll be charged as an accomplice and it will be worse."
"And what will you do with... with the murderer?"
"The law forbids to judge minors so she'll be sent to the reformatory." The captain explains. "But those places are crowded, and in these uncertain times, the military is a good place to straighten the youth. Think well what you're going to do, Mr. Une. If you collaborate, we can offer you a deal for the rest of your family. But if you don't, you'll be sent to prison and your other children will go to different orphanages. It's worthless to risk their future for the sake of only one."
"Wait a moment. I'll speak to my daughter."
Benjamin calls Midii, who's watching from the door, along with her brothers. When she approaches, her father holds her close to him and tells her:
"We were discovered. You have to tell on Anne, it's the best for everyone."
"I can't accuse her, she helped me." His daughter answers.
"Don't say that, Midii. If it wasn't her, it was you who shot that man, and I'd have to hand you to the militaries. I don't want to hand over my daughter."
"But if I accuse Anne, I..."
Midii's clear eyes flashed for an instant; her father had a sad look, the same look she had seen the day they took her mother's body to the cemetery. She'd never forgotten that look, and she thought she'd never see it again.
"Think well what you're going to say. Anne is going insane, like her mother. And if the army thinks it was you, they'll take you away and I'll never see you again. You're my daughter! I can't allow it to happen!"
"Forgive me, dad, but I can't lie. I'm sorry..."
Midii leaves crying into the empty room and sees Anne's doll.
Then she... she took the doll. God, if only she hadn't taken that doll!
"What are you doing with it?" The owner shouts when she walks in. "I told you not to touch it!"
"They came to ask for the one who killed that man at the reservation."
"It can't be..."
Midii's eyes shine with as much decision as the uncertainty in Anne's. In a moment, she has the power to decide the fate of everyone, for the first time she's the one setting the rules.
"I want you to give me this doll, Anne. My silence for your doll. You choose."
It was the only gift from my mother, the only thing really mine. I couldn't allow it.
"Of course not!" Anne exclaims.
Midii takes the doll and tries to retain it, then runs from the room. Her cousin chases after her and manages to reach her when they're arriving to the room where Benjamin and the men are still talking. When Anne grabs her coat, she throws herself over the girl and they start to fight with their fists. The younger still holds the doll, but the strength of her older cousin is greater and she has her hands around her neck, choking her.
Just... just by pushing my fingers a little deeper... I thought I had her trapped, but the truth was that I was the one in the trap.
"Let it go! I told you to let it go!"
Midii throws the replicate of the Russian CZarina against the wall, smashing it to shatters.
"Stop! Stop, both of you!" Benjamin shouts. "Stop fighting!" He yells as he and one of the soldiers hold a girl each.
Midii saw in the betrayal the chance to save her people. And I wasn't one of them.
"You're a fool, Midii!" Her cousin shouts, releasing herself from the officer and hitting her across the face. "You'll pay dearly for this!"
The eyes of both girls face against each other. In Midii Une's retina are projected some scenes she had kept locked in her mind and in her heart for a long time.
"I'm not like you." "One day, I'll go far away from this place." "Do you think they wouldn't leave you if they had the chance?"
... And it was then that all those conversations with Midii in which she'd never given an opinion, in which she'd always being the weak party, turned against their author.
"Midii, which one of you was the one who shot the officer?"
The room fills with silence. Every eye is on Midii.
"It was her." She says, pointing at her cousin. "It was Anne who shot! I saw her! She forced me to keep quiet! She's insane, she said if I spoke she'd kill me, that's why I didn't say anything!" Midii defends herself.
The eyes of the elder Une are void of emotion, but then they recover their strength, the strength of fury.
"I protected you! When I had to cover for you, I did it. And this is how you repay me! I told you you'd regret it if you betrayed me, Midii!"
"Is this true, Mr. Une?" The captain asks.
"Y-yes..." He answers, giving the final sentence without daring to look at his niece.
Immediately, the soldiers rush over the girl who tries to free herself in vain. And even if her hands are tied, her words aren't; and they're ready for a final curse.
"Do you think you'll destroy me with this? You're wrong! And you know why? Because I've got nothing to loose. I don't have a family or a home, so I can do whatever I want! However, you'll always have to look after these brats and your father; you'll always be tied to them and to this hole!"
"Dad, I'm afraid." The youngest child says.
"Afraid? You do well in being afraid, Ben. Because in this child is hidden treason. I may be crazy, but at least I'm not a traitor like her. And you better watch out, because the day you need her, that's the day you'll see she's failed you.
"Midii Une, I curse you forever!"
The men take the girl away, but before that her uncle stops one of them.
"Wait." Benjamin says before the captain gets in the van. "Will she be alright? After all, she's my late sister's child."
"This is a war, and until it's over, none will be alright ever."
After that, the men took me in their van and I never saw them or the house again. I learned they moved to one of the Colonies, because they ordered to evacuate the city, but I never knew exactly which, nor cared about it.
Lady Une's voice is clear: no sadness, no fury, as if she was telling something that happened to somebody else a long time ago. Marimeia was mute throughout the story. She was certainly closer to her tutor than she was to anybody else ever. But that doesn't answer any of the questions she has about her own origin.
Treiza Kushrenada's daughter understands that Une's words to her cousin are true, because those who have an origin can never separate from it, even if it's just the name of a father... After a few but eternal seconds of silence, she dares to focus her eyes on her again. With anguish and respect, she dares to ask:
"I don't understand... How does my father fit in all of this?"
"Why should it have to do anything with him?" Anne asks.
"Because you wouldn't be telling me about this unless it had. What does it have to do with my father?"
The glittering look of the director of the Preventers clashes against that of her charge. And her brown eyes shine with their undisputable intelligence.
"Everything. The story doesn't end here. This is just the beginning..."
Author's Notes:
Well, something I didn't say in the previous note is that I had to divide this fic in parts because it got too long in writing and I couldn't think of it as separately. It was difficult because, as you can see, there are very strong subjects. This fic is one of my most serious works, well away from the romantic comedy that's my characteristic, especially in other fandoms. I hope I did it well. I wish I had a talent like that of Dark Cronic (one of the best writers I know), who could surely explain the subject of madness a lot better than me, but I do what I can (insert crying emoticon here). Anyway, you have the last word.
In truth, I don't know what to think about who was right to do what they did, Midii or Anne. Sometimes, when I write a story I don't actually think about these kinds of things that have to be detailed in long fics. Actually, this is the first time I write about family grudges. So in this particular case, I'll leave it to your interpretation, the reader.
See you in the second part of this story, where Treize will finally enter the protagonist's life. If you have doubts they can still be answered, so write me a review or the forum or the list that corresponds.
Vicky Yun.