give me my money back, you bitch.
it never ceases to amaze me what happens to the current of my bloodstream when I am around certain individuals. call it gravitional pull or pheromones or what have you, but it's hard not to smile and revel in the feeling. forgetting the world is a horrifying rocky sphere of chaos.. ah, it's nice. this week I've been reminded. slowly but surely (as years go by) I am understanding this whole chemical attraction/reaction thing. perfecting the art, identifying the forever feelings from the passing sentiments. is this why we get so guarded as we gain more "experience"?
I have to wonder if being wrong, or drawing a (not the best scenario) conclusion.. if it makes me more open (yet aware!) or closed off to new opportunities that find their way to my path. I don't know. I think I just need a threesome with a hot set of French Siamese twins (please forgive me, and go see the Dreamers. hott!). or you know, something else exciting that gets me to jump from and shed this current skin I've grown. and to feel alive in a new way. I think of everything I miss from my past, it is the idea of possibility that haunts me the most. (and possibly my father being right about so many things. that is daunting, as well).
and if you would have asked me five years ago where I thought I'd be or who I'd have surrounding me, there's really only one thing I could see. or one person.. so tonight, it truly hurts to be wrong. and I miss him.
yet somehow (for maybe the first time), everything else outweighs that. I think I finally understand that voids can not be filled, only forgotten (if ever only temporarily). tonight, I thanked my friend for the "fantastic distraction".. the new wave of possibility. and I'm beginning to look forward to what's next, whatever that may be.
I have to wonder if being wrong, or drawing a (not the best scenario) conclusion.. if it makes me more open (yet aware!) or closed off to new opportunities that find their way to my path. I don't know. I think I just need a threesome with a hot set of French Siamese twins (please forgive me, and go see the Dreamers. hott!). or you know, something else exciting that gets me to jump from and shed this current skin I've grown. and to feel alive in a new way. I think of everything I miss from my past, it is the idea of possibility that haunts me the most. (and possibly my father being right about so many things. that is daunting, as well).
and if you would have asked me five years ago where I thought I'd be or who I'd have surrounding me, there's really only one thing I could see. or one person.. so tonight, it truly hurts to be wrong. and I miss him.
yet somehow (for maybe the first time), everything else outweighs that. I think I finally understand that voids can not be filled, only forgotten (if ever only temporarily). tonight, I thanked my friend for the "fantastic distraction".. the new wave of possibility. and I'm beginning to look forward to what's next, whatever that may be.